


Chasing the Stars

by yumedake



Category: Frostiron - Fandom, Iron Man (Movies), IronFrost - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Complete, M/M, Marvel Universe, Rambling canon/non-canon as my mind sees fit, Wordcount: 50.000-100.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-01-15 14:32:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 54,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1308322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yumedake/pseuds/yumedake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When two worlds collide strangers become friends, friends become lovers and lovers become enemies. Can a love that stretched beyond the stars survive in the face of madness and despair?</p><p>This story begins before the events of the first Iron Man movie and before the Avengers have assembled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Stop

"JARVIS, run the shower, would ya?" Tony grumbled, swinging his legs over the side of a plush bed before digging the heels of both palms into his itchy eyes.

"Of course, Sir. Will there be anything else?" JARVIS responded in its typical soft, congenial voice.

Turning his head, Tony looked behind him at the exposed curve of a woman's backside, a flurry of auburn curls spread across the pillow. Pulling a face, he sighed and nodded his head.

"Yeah." Tony started, gesturing with one thumb over his shoulder. "Show her out." 

Standing from the bed, Tony stretched his frame, a couple of joints popping too loudly in the otherwise relative silence of his bedroom. On bare feet, Tony padded to the bathroom as JARVIS gave his acknowledgement of that last request. Water shot from the shower head as Tony nudged the door shut behind him. He had only moments to take a brief look at the state of himself before the resulting steam fogged the mirror over. A nice hot shower, just how he liked it. This JARVIS project was working out quite nicely.

After taking his sweet time, Tony emerged from a steamy bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was pleased to see that his company - Angela? Andrea? - had been shown out in his absence. Making his rounds to his walk-in closet and chest of drawers, Tony put himself together in a Black Sabbath t-shirt and a pair of snug jeans. 

As Tony made his way to the kitchen, he looked around for any sign of whatever had transpired the night before and he was happy to find that there was a distinct lack of empty beer bottles and clothes strung around the house. Ever since his parents had passed he had taken to a life of excess, drink and women occupying his time and his mind, keeping him from focusing on things he would rather not but really should be focusing on. Running Stark Industries was at the back of his mind. He had promoted a young woman his father had been impressed by, a secretary who went by the name of Pepper Potts. She seemed competent enough... more competent than Tony was, if he was completely honest.

Finding sustenance in the form of a leftover container of kung pao chicken, Tony sat at the dining table with the carton and a fork, not bothering to heat the food.

"JARVIS" he started, a mouthful of chicken working its way around his mouth. "What's on the docket today?" Tony finished, swallowing his food.

It didn't take long for the artificial intelligence to respond.

"Ms. Potts would like you to attend the shareholder meeting at one this afternoon, Sir."  


Scowling, Tony shoveled another forkful of food into his mouth and chewed as he shook his head.

"What time is it?" Tony asked, looking around for a clock... for all his mechanical genius, why didn't he have a clock?

"It is currently twelve-fifteen in the afternoon, Sir." JARVIS replied.

"No on the meeting then. What's next?" Tony replied, twirling his fork in the air as if to signal JARVIS to fast forward.

"There are several job interviews lined up for various clerical positions at Stark Industries. The first is at two-thirty with a gentleman called Loki." JARVIS answered helpfully.

Groaning, Tony rolled his eyes and focused on his chicken.

"Don't you have anything fun planned for today? Or is it all boring and terrible?" Tony murmured, chewing thoughtfully as he waited for JARVIS to respond. 

"Unfortunately it seems to be all work today, Sir." JARVIS confirmed.

Tony smirked at the response and set his container of cold chicken down onto the table before standing and leaving it there as he made his way back toward his bedroom. His head was pounding with the after effects of his booze filled night and he didn't much feel like arguing with his business-minded artificial friend.

"Tell Pepper I won't be at the shareholders meeting. Make something up. I'll think about the job interviews after I have a nap." Tony muttered, gesturing absently at the ceiling.

"I will let Ms. Potts know you are indisposed." JARVIS confirmed. 

Padding back to his bedroom, Tony fell face-first onto his pillowy mattress and sighed into the soft fabric of his rumpled sheets. The bed still smelled like sex and he sort of wished he could remember it. With the bed in the state that it was, he must have enjoyed himself. 

Closing his eyes, Tony went back to sleep in the hopes that his hangover would be sorted when he woke up again.

\---

At two-thirty, Tony found himself dressed in a suit and sat on one side of a conference table. Pepper had furiously ordered Happy to drag him out of bed as soon as the shareholders meeting had wrapped up, his absence having been duly noted.  


As Tony and Pepper sat at one side of the table, waiting for the secretary to show their interviewee in, the silence was palpable. With arms crossed, Pepper, stared straight ahead at the small file in front of her containing the applicant's resume and references. The expression on her fine features was part resignation, part absolute annoyance.

"You can't keep ditching these meetings forever, Tony. Obadiah does the best he can to keep everyone happy but they want to hear from Tony Stark once in a while." Pepper muttered, sparing a tired glance at Tony.

"I know, Pep, but I woke up feeling like death." Tony replied, fingers working in small circles at his temples.

A heavy sigh worked its way past Pepper's lips and she frowned as she shook her head.

"You know, all of these bad mornings could be avoided if you'd just practice a little self control. You're young, Tony, but you're not a teenager. You've got responsibilities as the head of this company." Pepper lectured, fiddling with the corner of the file folder on the table.

Tony, for all his wit, could do nothing but stare at the insides of his eyelids as he continued trying to rub his headache away. Opening her mouth to continue her well-intentioned scolding, Pepper was interrupted when the door to the conference room opened and the secretary peeked into the room.

Standing from their seats, Tony and Pepper were all friendly smiles and handshakes as the applicant was shown to his seat. Okay, so Pepper was smiles and handshakes and Tony was more mutters and half-assed greetings. As the secretary left and quietly shut the door behind her, the three of them took their seats.

Smiling across the table at the young man before them, Pepper quickly and quietly appraised the smart black suit and emerald green tie, the way the young man sat with a certain sort of quiet grace. Their applicant couldn't have been any older than twenty three if Pepper were to guess, pale skin, black hair and stunning light crystalline eyes. Tony had been studying his nails as Pepper opened her file.

"Loki, is it?" Pepper said softly, smiling at the young man. "That's an unusual name. Nice to meet you." 

Loki looked at Pepper, holding her gaze as he smiled a charming smile, nodding his head in confirmation.

"It's nice to meet you as well, Ms. Potts, and you also, Mr. Stark. A real pleasure." Loki responded, his voice smooth and soft, an accent coloring his words.

Looking up, Tony offered Loki a smile and was surprised to find the young man staring directly at him with an unwavering smile curving his thin lips. Tony held the gaze for a moment, transfixed by the young man's smile and eyes that seemed to sparkle with playfulness. As Tony shifted a little in his seat, leaning ever so slightly closer across the table, he could have sworn he saw the man wink at him.

Pepper allowed for a moment of awkward silence pass before she heeled Tony in the ankle, snapping the man back into business land. In the years Pepper had known Tony, she hadn't known Tony to turn down a pretty face - male or female - and Pepper wanted to keep this one out of the HR office. Smiling politely, Pepper canted her head to the side just a bit, brows raised in curiosity.

"Are you English?" Pepper asked, striking a bit of diverting conversation to allow Tony time to get a hold of himself.

Loki's smile widened almost imperceptibly, his lips curving just a little more on the right.

"Oh, something like that." Loki answered, gesturing with one hand. "I like to consider myself a traveller, a seeker of knowledge and...opportunity. I must admit, this seems almost like another world entirely." 

Pepper laughed softly along with Loki and Tony fumbled with the papers in front of him.

"So, uh, Loki. What brings you to Stark Industries?" Tony asked, pulling open the file folder to take a look at what it was the man had applied for since he hadn't had the chance to read any of the file before he'd been forcibly sat in this chair.

Folding his hands neatly on the table before him, Loki continue to smile, satisfied to watch the Tony Stark fumble around. It seemed the notorious billionaire playboy was distracted and that gave Loki all the wiggle room he needed. Loki's attention snapped to Pepper as he heard her soft voice.

"Ahem - Loki, your resume and references certainly look impressive. I think Tony means to ask you what made you choose Stark Industries? With a skill set such as yours, it seems you'd have your pick of employers."

Bowing his head in a show of feigned modesty at the praise for his credentials, Loki shrugged his shoulders slightly. After a moment he raised his head to look at Pepper, sincerity in his expression.

"Who wouldn't want the chance to take a position beneath the Great Tony Stark? It's the chance of a lifetime, isn't it?" Loki answered, his delivery matter of fact. 

Pepper smiled, but she all but wilted visibly at the answer she got. It was looking more and more like this little meeting might be destined for the HR office no matter what she did. Turning her head, she smiled a tight, polite smile at Tony who was suddenly cocksure and upright, obviously pleased at the way the answer had been phrased. 

"Mr. Stark certainly is one of a kind." Pepper responded, turning her attention back to Loki.

Predictably, after an hour's worth of eye-fucking and completely unnecessary interview questions, Loki was hired onto the staff to work with Pepper and Tony in some sort of yet-to-be determined position.

It came as absolutely no surprise to anyone when Tony requested the presence of his newest employee at his Malibu home for some "orientation". Pepper was invited as well, but she had suddenly remembered some plans she had for the evening and politely declined.

What a shame, Tony had thought, that he'd be left all alone with the attractive new guy.

\---

Loki and Tony sat on opposite sides of his rarely-used dining room table, chattering while they ate the delivery fare that Tony had instructed JARVIS to have sent over. Well, it was mostly Tony doing the talking and Loki doing the listening which was fine by Loki. He had come here on a little field trip to learn more about this man, Midgard's brightest star and biggest name in weapons technology. There were only so many books one could read back home and Asgardian weapons were so much different from the ones here on Midgard. 

"I know I'm fascinating and all, but tell me a little about yourself." Tony invited, chewing thoughtfully on a piece of chicken from the tikka masala sat before him. 

Loki raised his brows at the invitation but smiled cordially none the less, setting his fork down and politely wiping a bit of food from the corner of his mouth before speaking.

"What would you have me tell you?" Loki asked, not particularly motivated to have to conjure an entire identity on the spot. 

Shrugging, Tony gestured with his fork.

"What do you do for fun? Have you seen any of the sights here in California?" Tony clarified, spearing another chunk of chicken.

Loki thought briefly on the questions he'd been asked, thin lips pursing ever so slightly before he parted them to speak.

"Oh, I suppose I'm rather boring. I fill my spare time with study, mostly, and the practice of a few hobbies. I haven't had a chance to go out and see the sights and I wouldn't know where to start." Loki answered, smiling as he pushed bits of rice around on his plate with his fork - this new cuisine was certainly 'different'.

Tony laughed and set his fork down, reaching for the glass of high-grade whiskey he had poured himself. Taking a healthy swig, he studied Loki from over the top of his glass for a moment.  


"Bookworm, huh? I wouldn't have pegged you for someone like that." Tony observed absently, taking another pull of whiskey and savoring the burn at the back of his throat.

Arching one brow high, Loki canted his head to the side as he set his fork down.

"Oh? Why is that?" Loki asked, genuinely interested. 

Laughing, Tony killed the contents of the glass and pushed away from the table to stand and get another.

"You want one? I'll get you one." Tony offered, raising his glass as he grasped the crystal top of a decanter to open it. "It's the best around." 

Loki furrowed his brow a bit, confused by Tony's sudden change of topic but nodded his head nonetheless. A drink or two couldn't hurt.

Returning with two glasses of whiskey, Tony dropped into his chair unceremoniously and went for the amber liquid once more before answering Loki's previous question.

"You're too good-looking to be holed up in a library somewhere." 

Loki laughed as he took a drink from his own glass. Arching his brow once more, a smile tugged at his lips.

"Are you courting me, Mr. Stark?" Loki asked, holding his glass steady as he awaited a response.

Smiling a bright, billion dollar smile, Tony killed the contents of his second glass in one go with practiced ease.

"Tony, please and that depends. Do you want me to be?" Tony shot back, raising his brows in amusement.

Laughing again, Loki sipped at the whiskey in his glass and swallowed, marveling at the unfamiliar sting of the liquid and the warmth in his throat. The ales they had in Asgard were lighter than this drink but this wasn't so bad. Loki could appreciate Tony's quick wit and taste in libations. He could also appreciate the way in which Tony skillfully avoided answering things he was asked... it seemed the two of them were similar in that regard.

As Loki sat his glass down on the table, he took a long moment to simply gaze at Tony with curiosity in his green eyes. The last thing he had expected of this little mission of his was to be hit on by the man he had come to study though he supposed there would be no better way to get to know Tony Stark than to get into his good graces. 

"Mm," Loki started, pursing his lips for a moment. "...do you court all of your new employees, Tony?"  


Tony laughed once more as the ball was sent back to his side of the court. He was beginning to enjoy this little game. 

"All of them? No. Only the ones that tickle my fancy and those green eyes of yours are tickling me inappropriately. I must admit, I've never seen someone quite like you, Loki." Tony answered, standing once more to go for the decanter, which he brought back to the table with him.

Filling both their glasses once more, Tony left the top off the decanter in the anticipation that between the two of them, they might empty it. It was nice not to be drinking alone for once. Loki resumed sipping at the offered drink with a small smile playing at the corners of his lips, those eyes of his fixed on Tony.

"Well, then. I feel rather special to be a member of the elite ninety percent." Loki jabbed, his tone friendly in spite of his words.

Tony's jaw dropped and his face wore a mask of mock offense to match the soft gasp that passed his lips. Raising his free hand to his chest, he placed it over his heart.

"I see my reputation precedes me. Genius, billionaire, playboy and all that... did I mention billionaire?" Tony responded, shooting Loki a wink from the top of his glass before helping himself to another round.

Chuckling softly, Loki worked on his second glass and when it was empty, he set the glass down atop the table, still smiling.

"I'm sure that particular descriptor entices even the most discriminating harlot." Loki started, smirking as he traced the rim of his glass with the tip of one long, pale finger. "I regret to inform you that I have no use for your billions." 

Raising his eyes to meet Tony's once more, Loki shot the self-proclaimed genius his own wink before moving to stand.

"I also regret to inform you that I really must be going. This has been a rather enlightening evening, Mr. Stark. I thank you for your hospitality." Loki added, brushing his fingers through his raven black hair. 

Standing up as well, Tony frowned ever so slightly at the suddenness in which Loki was departing. It wasn't like him not to be able to pull 'em in with his charm and, of course, the mention of his fortune. As Loki approached, Tony reached out to gently place one hand at the small of Loki's back, the other outreached toward the front door.

"Playing hard to get. I respect that. I've never met someone who had 'no use' for my money. Guess there's a first time for everything." Tony murmured, smiling at the turn of events... the thrill of the chase was something he thrived on. "I'll be seeing you again, I hope?"  


Loki laughed quietly, allowing Tony to walk him to the door. As they reached their destination, Loki turned to look at Tony, offering his most charming smile.

"You did just hire me a few hours ago. I suppose we will be seeing quite a lot of each other." Loki confirmed, bowing his head as he broke away from Tony and took a couple steps further toward freedom.

Tony's confusion lasted only a fraction of a second before he nodded his head.

"Tomorrow, then." Tony said with a grin. 

Nodding his head, Loki turned and made his exit.

"Goodnight, Mr. Stark." Loki said as he walked out toward his waiting rental car.

"Call me Tony!" was all Loki heard before he shut the door of his car and headed off into the night.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspiration: "Don't Stop" - Electric Touch


	2. I Wanna Hold Your Hand

It was ten-thirty in the morning on Tuesday and Tony was already bored. His callused hands fidgeted in his lap as he sat beside Pepper as she went over the latest press release regarding their newest innovation in weapons development. As Pepper read a part of the carefully-written statement aloud for Tony to review, Tony found himself rolling his eyes and sighing like a petulant child.

"Pep, no offense but you know this kind of thing is not in my vernacular. If I had my way, this thing would just say "Stark Industries releases new missile that blows shit up real good. Buy it now." Tony interjected as he spread his hands, mentally splashing his words across a marquee while leaning back in his leather chair.

Sighing, Pepper turned the press release over and her attention to Tony with a flat, unimpressed expression on her face.

"Tony, I just don't understand why you can't take this seriously. This was your father's business and now this is your business. You'd think you'd want to protect those billions that you like to use as one of your more desirable features." Pepper grumbled, staring Tony down. 

"I know, I know. I know I need to get serious about this Pep but I prefer to be the guy behind the scenes, the guy who designs, who tinkers, you know? I trust you and Obadiah to run this three-ringed circus." Tony countered, shooting Pepper one of his best puppy dog impressions. 

Shaking her head, Pepper turned her attention to her paperwork to avoid those big brown eyes. 

"We do what we can, Tony but at the end of the day, you're the face of this company and there are duties that come with that." Pepper explained softly, turning the press release back over. "Can we please just finalize this? I promise I'll let you disappear into that dungeon you call a workshop until after lunch." 

The puppy dog expression on Tony's face slowly melted into a pout which in turn was seared off his face by the withering look Pepper gave him.

"Fine, yeah. Okay. I'll sit here and be good and I'll go play when we're done." Tony agreed, sighing as he sat upright and leaned toward the documents spread out on the coffee table before them.

That had finally earned Tony a smile from Pepper and for that, Tony was glad. He knew he wasn't the best at explaining normal people things like feelings and appreciation but he truly did appreciate everything the soft-spoken redhead did for him. If it hadn't been for Pepper, he would most assuredly be up the proverbial "shit creek" without a paddle.

All in all, the press release business didn't take long at all, wrapping up in under forty minutes. As promised, Pepper had stood and agreed to leave Tony to his toys but that agreement didn't keep her from shaking her head as Tony bounded off toward the elevator like an over-excited labrador. 

Shaking her head, Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose as she clutched her file in her left hand and made her way toward her office and then to her desk at the far side of the room. Tony's California headquarters weren't anything too grandiose and certainly nothing compared to the tower that was currently under construction in the heart of New York City. Still, Pepper felt at home in her office and Tony in his workshop two levels below the city streets. 

Just as Pepper moved to sit down in her office chair and send the okay on the press release out to the marketing and promotions team, her door opened. Looking up from her computer, she smiled as Loki peered into the room.

"Good morning, Ms. Potts." Loki greeted, holding a file folder full of invoices in his hands.

"Good morning, Loki." Pepper greeted, smiling amicably as she gestured for Loki to come in.

Loki followed direction and crossed the space between them, standing just behind the empty chairs that sat stationed across from Pepper.

"I've packed up the boxes for storage as you've instructed." Loki announced, looking around the empty office for a moment. "Where is Mr. Stark? I saw him in this morning."

Pepper pulled a face that was almost embarrassment and it would have been had she not known Tony was probably working on something that would change the world as they spoke. 

"He's down in his workshop flexing his genius." Pepper advised, offering Loki another smile.

Nodding his head, Loki seemed to be lost in thought for a moment before he perked up. His expression was innocent as he shifted his weight.

"Do you think I might have a look? At this workshop, I mean. I've got a background in weapons and energy and I would absolutely love to see it." Loki asked, a gentle plea in his eyes.

Pepper shrugged her shoulders and returned Loki's smile, catching Loki's gaze.

"I don't see why not. Tony doesn't really like people to watch him but I don't really like him to hole up down there all day." Pepper answered with a laugh.

Laughing along with Pepper for as long as it seemed appropriate, Loki's posture took on a more humbled state as his shoulders slumped ever so slightly and his gaze hit the ground.

"I don't want to be a bother. Maybe another time." Loki said, peering up at Pepper only briefly.

Shaking her head and laughing once more, Pepper smiled almost fondly at the newest member of the Stark Industries team. Loki seemed to be such a kind young man, respectful and genuine.

"Trust me, he's bothered me plenty. Go ahead. It's on B3." Pepper revealed, waving one hand toward the elevator down the hall. 

Loki offered Pepper a soft smile and a quiet thanks for the information. As Pepper turned back to her work, he straightened up and made his way out of the office, a clever smile breaking across his lips. 

\---

A soft chime signaled the arrival of the elevator at its destination and Loki watched as the polished metal doors slid apart to reveal what could only be described as an underground warehouse. Loki wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but this wasn't it... at least not really. The room was simple concrete rather than the flash and polish of the rest of the building and there were machines, tools and metal absolutely everywhere. Probably the most remarkable thing about the room was the incredibly loud music blaring from speakers that had been set into the high walls of the room.

It took him a moment but Loki finally spotted Tony who was hunched over a workbench with his back to the elevator, furiously scribbling on a piece of paper. Positive that Tony couldn't have possibly heard the chime of the elevator over the music, Loki took the opportunity to sneak further inside. 

As Loki passed table after table he saw what looked like bits and pieces of works in progress, notes scribbled in decidedly illegible handwriting along with what looked like mathematical equations and coffee stains. It was a complete surprise when the music suddenly stopped, causing him to freeze mid-step, eyes going slightly wide.

"You said you'd let me play!" Tony whined, spinning around on his stool and stopping abruptly as he realized the visitor wasn't Pepper. "Oh, Loki. Didn't expect to see you down here... did Pepper send you to pry me away from my work for another boring memo?"

Chuckling, Loki relaxed and shook his head, taking one step back from the table he'd been eyeing just for good measure.

"No, I asked her where you were and when she said you were in your element, well... I had to have a look." Loki clarified. "How could you have possibly heard me come in?" 

Tony laughed and gestured toward the ceiling before holding up a tablet that had been sat in front of him.

"He's called JARVIS. He watches my stuff and lets me know when someone's around." Tony explained, gesturing with one hand toward Loki. "JARVIS, introduce yourself to my newest minion."

Loki furrowed his brow and looked toward the ceiling, expecting to see someone on the rafters or something of the sort. 

"Good morning, Sir. My name is JARVIS." The A.I. greeted, the voice flowing from the ceiling and all around, really.

Eyes widening, Loki took a few steps forward, his face scrunched in confusion as he searched in vain for the source of the voice. 

"I'm afraid you won't be able to see me, Sir. I am merely what you would call an artificial intelligence system designed for security purposes." JARVIS explained as it watched Loki search.

"Aww, JARVIS, give yourself some credit! You're a lot more than that! You start my coffee in the morning and give me directions when I'm lost! You're probably the closest thing to a friend I've got!" Tony protested, grinning as he set his tablet back on the tabletop.

Loki stood staring at the ceiling, gaze darting to each corner of the room before finally coming to rest on Tony. Parting his lips to speak, he found himself at a temporary loss. 

"Is this...magic?" Loki asked after a moment, trying to sort this all out in his mind. 

Tony laughed and stood from his stool, making his way over toward his baffled company. As he reached Loki's side, Tony clapped one hand on Loki's shoulder, the other hand extending out to point at various sensors and cameras in the ceiling - all nearly imperceptible if you didn't know they were already there.

"The magic of science." Tony corrected. "I built and programmed him myself. Pretty cool, huh?"

Loki nodded, taking note of each of the items Tony pointed out before turning his attention to the man beside him. 

"Sorry, I don't usually get so struck but... " Loki apologized, trailing off as he resumed searching the room for more hidden electronics.

"I did mention I was a genius last night, if you'll recall. Since you have no use for my billions, maybe you'll love me for my brains. Usually people just use me for my body." Tony said with a wink and a grin.

Looking back toward Tony, Loki laughed along amiably as he shook his head slowly in response to Tony's words. It seemed the man would be persistent when it came to his interest in a person.

"I would tell you to give yourself some credit but that's like trying to tell a giant to grow taller. Your ego is the size of your moon." Loki quipped, unable to help the smile that persisted on his lips.

Clapping his hand on Loki's shoulder, Tony laughed before he slid his arm across Loki's back in a move he hoped was smooth. Extending his arm, he gestured to the rest of the massive warehouse. 

"C'mon. I'll show you around." Tony offered, gently leading the taller man further into his workshop.

\---

Three hours later, Tony and Loki were sat down on the concrete floor with papers spread around between them. Loki had ditched his suit jacket and rolled his sleeves up and Tony had taken to chewing on a pencil. The two of them had spent the past forty minutes or so going over this and that, speculation and hypothesis. Tony was in absolute heaven, so pleased to have found someone who could keep even a passing interest in the minutia of Tony's work. 

About thirty minutes in Loki had decided that Tony was most certainly interesting and as intelligent as the rumors suggested. The man knew how to wax on and on about projects and plans, specifics of this thing he called "physics" and how they affected his work. Tony wasn't a bad guy and the closer they got in proximity, Loki was beginning to notice why the girls flocked to him. The man was nothing if not good looking.

It was about ten minutes ago that Tony had caught himself simply smiling at Loki, watching the way the man would pause thoughtfully every so often before offering his two cents on the latest topic. Sensing the eyes on him, Loki stopped mid-sentence and turned his eyes to meet that interested gaze. Arching one brow, Loki smiled a coy smile.

"If you think this is cool, you should see the workshop I have at home. It's smaller but all my best stuff is kept there. The house is more comfortable, you know. I do all my best thinking half-drunk and in my underpants and you wouldn't believe how much legal red tape is involved in letting me work like that upstairs." Tony said softly, pausing for a moment before continuing, a playful glimmer in his dark eyes. "You could come by tonight and watch me work." 

Loki averted his gaze and smirked softly before looking back up at Tony.

"You sure know how to charm a lad. Are you sure you want me interested in just your brains and not your body?" Loki countered, his smile softening as he let his eyes wander, giving Tony the once-over.

Straightening up just a bit, Tony bit at his lower lip briefly, encouraged by the lack of outright rejection. 

"Oh, you can like me any way you want. I'm just excited to have someone to talk to. For a billionaire-genius-playboy you'd be surprised how few friends I actually have." Tony admitted, looking what could be considered Tony's best impression of sheepish. "Besides... I think you're something special."

Something in those last few words struck Loki, causing him to take pause and simply look at Tony for a moment. For all his life, no one had really ever called him "special" or any other word with similar meaning. Well, Frigga had referred to him as "special" on more than one occasion but she was his mother and mothers did that sort of thing. All the attention in the house had always gone to Thor, the golden child, the boy who could do no wrong and Loki hadn't realized until just now how much he enjoyed being noticed by someone. Tony's words had caused a warm feeling to swell in Loki's chest and for that, he was grateful. 

"How's six o'clock sound?" Loki suggested finally, his tone soft as he caught and held Tony's gaze.

The smile that erupted across Tony's lips damn near split his face in half. He hadn't really expected Loki to take him up on his invitation since the man had seemed to brush him off so easily yesterday. Confidence boosted, Tony nodded his head.

"Six it is." Tony agreed, nodding his head as he found himself entranced by those eyes. "I'll have JARVIS order in some Chinese. There's this great place in the city that has the best sesame tofu around."

Loki chuckled and broke their gaze, looking down at his hands for a moment. He had no idea what "sesame tofu" was but he couldn't deny that alien foods or not, he was suddenly really looking forward to six o'clock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so excited I decided to write and post a second chapter right away. If you're wondering about the naming convention for my titles, they are titles of the songs that are inspiring me as I write.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Next chapter might see Loki and Tony getting a little saucy ;)
> 
> Song inspiration: "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" - The Beatles


	3. Extraterrestrial

As it turned out, sesame tofu wasn't altogether unpleasant. Neither was the whiskey or the company. Surprisingly, Tony had even managed to keep his pants on while he worked. 

The two had taken a break from the workshop and car show to head upstairs and have dinner and a drink which had turned into dinner and several drinks and before they realized it, the whiskey was gone. Naturally, Tony had suggested they switch to any of the fine spirits that he kept behind the bar. All of which, he had assured Loki, were of equal quality. They switched to bourbon and Loki moved on to rum. Tony was duly impressed by the alcohol tolerance the young man possessed.

"That's the... I'm pretty sure that's your fifteenth drink, Loki. Jesus, man. How are you still upright?" Tony asked, gazing at Loki through glassy eyes on one cushion of his plush couch. 

Loki laughed, a sound that almost shocked him in its authenticity. He had spent so much of his life weaving tricks and playing catch-up to Thor that he hadn't found much time lately to genuinely enjoy himself. Leaning into the cushion behind him, he gave Tony a secretive look.

"I lost count at ten and I'm afraid that if I told you my secret I'd have to kill you. I don't want to kill you, Tony. You're a lovely man." Loki answered, his look fading into a silly, slightly inebriated grin.

Tony barked a laugh and narrowed his eyes playfully as he looked at Loki.

"I do make bombs, yanno." Tony warned, his own expression turning to childishness. "Besides, I like you too, Loki. I wouldn't wanna have'ta blow your house up. Housing out here is expensive!" 

Chuckling, Loki shook his head and closed his eyes as he tilted his head toward the ceiling. As the alcohol finally took effect it seemed the pleasant fuzziness behind his forehead had decided to put down roots and his limbs seemed so heavy.

"My house is nowhere near here. Your threats don't concern me, Mr. Stark." Loki replied with another chuckle, a relaxed smile on his lips.

Nodding his head as if he had just been told something profound, Tony pursed his lips in thought.

"Oh yeah." Tony started, still nodding his head absently. "I forgot you're from Fra--, uh, England or... some place like that. Actually, I don't think you ever said..." 

Smirking, Loki kept his eyes closed as he sank bonelessly into the soft leather. 

"Oh, I'm from another realm entirely." Loki answered softly, before he could come up with a more suitable response.

As often happened with inebriation, Tony's mood shifted as he watched Loki relax and he smiled a soft smile as he nodded his head again - just once, this time.

"Damn right you are. You're like my own personal Alien Prince. All regal 'n smart and gorgeous." Tony observed, his voice having quieted somewhat with affection.

For just a moment, Loki's blood went ice cold and his eyes shot open. Tony was just drunk, wasn't he? Surely the man hadn't really believed him. Turning to look at Tony, he parted his lips to speak but Tony beat him to it.

"Hey, no. Stop making that face. I meant that as a compliment. You're just so different from everyone I know." Tony explained, reaching out to drop one hand on Loki's nearest available arm. "Different in a good way. The best way, actually." 

Loki hesitated, suddenly more sober than he had been. He eyed Tony carefully, searching for any sort of hidden understanding, prepared to magic himself right out of here. Tony frowned and wriggled his body until he was half across the couch cushion that separated them. Moving one arm, he reached up and cupped Loki's cheek, offering the taller man a smile.

"I mean it. Stop making that face. I like seeing you smile." Tony said softly, the glimmer in his brown eyes sincere. "I can make up another nickname for you. That's just a thing I do."

Loki seemed to soften under Tony's gentle touch, like butter that had been left out. His eyelids felt heavy and he let them close, turning his head in toward the hand that remained on his face. Tony couldn't help but smile a bit wider, barely suppressing the urge to coo.

"It's fine. I don't mind the moniker." Loki responded quietly, allowing himself to relax as he considered the potential threat to have been quelled. 

For a moment, neither of them moved. Tony's thumb had begun to stroke gentle lines along Loki's prominent cheekbone, the pale skin of his face surprisingly soft. Loki allowed his eyes to remain closed, sighing softly through his nose. It had been a long time since he had been touched, it seemed, and he had missed it dearly. This wasn't his mother or a nursemaid. This was a real, live person who had an interest in him. As Loki's eyelashes fluttered and his eyes opened, he saw that Tony was still gazing at him and his lips curved into a gentle smile, one that Tony mirrored.

"There. You look so much better like that." Tony noted, his hand shifting ever so slightly to allow his thumb to brush against those smiling lips.

Parting his lips minutely under Tony's touch, Loki felt his pulse start to quicken as a sort of longing settled deep into his core. Reaching up, he circled Tony's wrist with long, pale fingers to hold it in place. Turning his head, he pressed one, two soft kisses to the plush skin where Tony's thumb met his palm. It took every ounce of Tony's willpower not to leap across the couch and take Loki into his arms right then and there. Something told him that this was better dealt with slowly, gently.

"If you like my hand, I promise my lips are better." Tony invited with one of his classic grins.

Opening his eyes, Loki turned his attention to Tony once more, lingering only briefly. Shifting in his seat a moment later, Loki stretched across the foot or so between them as he released Tony's wrist. Tilting his head, Loki brought their lips only millimeters apart.

"I'll be the judge of that." Loki breathed, his words warm against Tony's lips.

Not one to wait too long, Tony pulled his arms around Loki and pulled him in tight, closing the gap between them. Loki made a soft noise in his throat as his lips were pressed against Tony's but he made no motion to change the situation. Instead, he reached out to return the offered embrace, the fingers of one hand finding purchase in the soft, short hair at the back of Tony's head. 

Neither of them kept track of how long it was that they spent tangled up in each other's arms, lips searching each other and hands running along clothed flesh. The first break in action came when Tony leaned forward with all his weight, pushing Loki back against the arm of the couch. Loki's eyes opened and he panted softly as he looked up at Tony. Being on his back wasn't a position Loki was entirely used to and his natural reflex was to push Tony away in defense. Opening his own eyes, Tony gazed down at Loki and smiled.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to." Tony promised, sensing the sudden tenseness in Loki's body beneath him. 

To Tony's complete and pleasant surprise, Loki reached up and pulled Tony down atop him, crushing their lips together once more in a passionate kiss. One of Loki's hands ran up and down the length of Tony's back until it settled on the curve just before Tony's hips and using that as a place to anchor the man to him. Tony's careful fingers tangled themselves in the dark locks of Loki's hair that had come loose from the brushed-back style.

The next twenty minutes was a flurry of kisses and teeth testing soft flesh. Tony had prized Loki's lips apart and sought to deepen their kiss, a request which Loki obliged without quarrel. They kissed until they were both literally breathless, panting, flushed, their clothes in a state of disarray. Loki had pushed Tony's t-shirt shirt up, fingertips tracing taut muscles. Tony's shifting above Loki had done much the same to the front of Loki's dark shirt, exposing a slice of pale flesh that called to Tony like a siren. 

Shifting a bit, Tony wriggled further down the couch and leaned in to press his lips to that delightfully exposed bit of flesh. As Tony leaned in, he felt Loki's strong hand on his shoulder.

"Wait." Loki said softly, still trying to catch his breath.

Raising his head, Tony looked up at Loki with a perplexed expression. He hoped he hadn't pressed this one step too far. When their gazes met, he held his breath as he waited for Loki to continue.

"Is there somewhere more... accommodating?" Loki asked, much to Tony's relief.

Nodding his head, Tony smiled and shifted to stand, offering his hand to Loki to help him up. Accepting the assistance, Loki pulled himself to his feet and pushed down the black long-sleeved shirt he wore. 

"Follow me." Tony prompted, reaching out to grasp Loki's hand in his own.

Tony led Loki through the main room and off down a hallway. At the end of the hallway was Tony's master bedroom. Pausing to shut the door behind them, Tony gestured with his free hand to the California King sized bed in the center of the room. 

"Will this do, my Prince?" Tony asked, watching Loki's gaze as it fluttered around the room.

Giving a single nod of his head, Loki turned his gaze back to Tony and eyed him almost hungrily. Tony had stirred up a deep-rooted need within him, a desire for affection. Tugging on the hand he still held, Loki pulled Tony to him and wrapped his arms around the smaller man in an almost crushing embrace. Tilting his head, Loki kissed along Tony's jaw, taking in the soft scratchy feeling of Tony's goatee. 

Tony took the opportunity to guide Loki back, moving across the room slowly and steadily until the backs of Loki's legs hit the edge of the mattress. Pulling back from Loki's attentive lips, he grinned at his partner.

"Let's get you out of these clothes." Tony suggested, sliding his hands beneath the fabric of Loki's shirt.

Raising his arms, Loki allowed Tony to remove his shirt and toss it aside before he set to work on Tony's t-shirt, removing it in the same manner. Loki had never had a problem with nakedness and thought nothing of removing his dark jeans himself, letting them pool on the ground before stepping out and kicking them away. Tony's hands stopped at the button of his own jeans as he stared at Loki for a moment. 

"Do you not like what you see?" Loki asked hesitantly, a nagging self-consciousness creeping to the forefront.

Snapping out of his trance, Tony met Loki's eyes once more as he shook his head.

"I love what I see. You're..." Foregoing his own jeans for the moment, Tony reached out to lay both hands on Loki's lean body. "...breathtaking." 

For a few moments, Tony simply touched and caressed the expanse of flesh before him. The way the moonlight filtered through the sheer curtains at the far side of the room illuminated Loki's already pale physique and gave him an almost ethereal glow. Sighing appreciatively, Loki closed his eyes and let his head tilt backward ever so slightly. The only sounds Loki made were when Tony's curious thumbs brushed against the dip of Loki's hips. 

"I'm not gonna lie... I want to do bad things to you." Tony murmured, stroking that sensitive curve for a moment. 

A smile curved Loki's lips and he sighed again, the touch and promise sending a delightful shiver through him. 

"Then take me, Tony Stark." Loki responded, his voice barely above a whisper.

Tony didn't need to be asked twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depending on you, dear readers, I will leave this to your imagination or write their first time out properly. Let me know what you prefer!
> 
> Song inspiration: "E.T." - Katy Perry


	4. Make It Wit Chu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering I only received one vote for my last chapter, I decided to go ahead and write some smut. Thank you for reading, please enjoy :)
> 
> Song inspiration: "Make It Wit Chu" - Queens of the Stone Age

Loki's back hit the plush mattress with just enough time to spare to make himself comfortable before Tony lay down upon him. The shorter man was still wearing his pants but neither of them seemed to care as their lips came together once again. Loki wrapped his arms around Tony and held him tightly as Tony carded fingers through long, dark locks. Shifting his shoulders just a bit, Loki reached with one hand to grasp a handful of Tony's backside, earning a moan from low in Tony's throat.

Breaking from their lip-lock, Tony tilted his head and kissed along Loki's jaw. Tilting his head back and to the side, Loki sighed as he exposed the expanse of his pale throat to Tony's wandering lips. Tony took the cue and left a trail of hot kisses along Loki's quickened pulse. Choosing a spot lower down, nearly to Loki's shoulder, Tony parted his lips and sucked at that enticing flesh. Loki caught his lower lip between teeth as he felt blood vessels bursting, a dark bruise blooming beneath Tony's lips. The sensation was something new to him and it sent a bolt of pleasurable endorphins racing through him.

"Tony... please..." Loki murmured, fingers scrambling to try and push Tony's jeans off. 

Tony could feel Loki's arousal loud and clear, nestled warmly against his own. Pulling his head back just a bit, he gazed eagerly down at Loki as he shoved his pants down, kicking them off the rest of the way. 

"Scoot up toward the headboard." Tony instructed as he supported his own weight, wanting them both to be as comfortable as possible.

Loki followed Tony's instruction and shifted to lay in the center of the bed, between the two fluffy pillows. Tony took a moment to appreciate Loki as he lay there, just taking in the sight of the man prone and so beautiful. He truly had never seen anything quite like Loki. The taller man was lean but powerful, all milky skin and long limbs.

"Now, Tony." Loki demanded, his green eyes clouded with desire.

Growling a playful little 'rawr', Tony crawled up into position and gently nudged himself between Loki's thighs. Running callused hands along Loki's thighs from the knee to his hips, Tony leaned forward and as his hands slid up along Loki's sides, he began to press a flurry of kisses along the center of Loki's chest. Stopping at one dark nipple, Tony caught the sensitive nub between his teeth and tugged ever so slightly, earning a throaty moan from above. Smiling, Tony shifted his attention to the other nub, mouthing and nipping until it was hard enough to cut glass. 

Reaching between them, Tony grasped Loki's length - which was nothing to scoff at - and squeezed firmly, his lips covering Loki's ribs with tender kisses. Tony decided quickly that he liked the way Loki writhed beneath his lips, the way that Loki's hips rocked absently into his grip. Loki squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head to the side, one arm above his head, the other sending long fingers to grasp Tony's hair.  


Tony's kisses led him down further to Loki's hips where he took the opportunity to nibble at that skin that had caused Loki to sigh so delightfully just a few moments ago. The second Tony's teeth caught that sensitive curve, Loki uttered what was quite possibly the sexiest sound Tony had ever heard. It was caught between a moan and a whimper, the softest little unspoken plea at the end. If Tony hadn't already been ridiculously hard he would have hopped to attention by that sound alone.

"Tony..." Loki cooed, bucking his hips in an attempt to coax Tony down further. 

More than happy to oblige Loki, Tony moved to kneel between Loki's knees, leaning forward to bring his lips to the tip of Loki's cock. Loki gasped as his wish was granted, mewling as Tony lavished his sensitive skin with open-mouthed kisses. Tony's left hand grasped Loki's hip and held it firmly as the right held onto the base of Loki's length, squeezing and stroking. 

"God damn, Loki." Tony breathed appreciatively, taking a glance up at his lover who was very much in the throes of pleasure.

Licking his lips, Loki's eyes opened enough to catch Tony's gaze for a moment, passion blazing there like emerald fire. Before Loki could utter a single syllable Tony's head was lowered and he parted his lips, taking the tip of Loki's erection into his mouth. The feeling of the warm, wet heat sent an electric shock through Loki, causing his back to arch like a wildcat, inadvertently forcing more of himself into Tony's mouth. Pushing Loki's hip down firmly on the bed, Tony worked Loki's flesh like a popsicle. 

"Nn, oh... T-Tony, I see... you've done th-this before..." Loki stammered, eyes open and staring blankly at the ceiling.

A deep chuckle rumbled low in Tony's throat, vibrating Loki's flesh and causing the taller man to groan. Truth be told, Tony had enjoyed his share of male partners, mostly in his younger years. The media would have people believe Tony was a serial womanizer but Tony had always held a soft spot in his heart for making a man squirm. 

Slowly but surely, Tony began to coax soft mewls and moans from Loki with flicks of his tongue, a squeeze of his hand. As Loki's arousal drew closer to a boiling point he felt Loki start to tense beneath him, legs going rigid as his toes curled. Encouraged, Tony worked hard, bobbing his head as he sucked at Loki's heated flesh. 

"T-Tony, no--" Loki gasped as his back arched, one hand curling tight in the bedsheets. "Not... not like this. Please." 

Pulling back from Loki's flesh, Tony raised his half-lidded eyes to look up at his lover, his hand still idly stroking Loki's length and earning a squirm.

"Tell me what you need." Tony invited softly, licking his lips as he kept his attention on Loki's scrunched expression.

Opening his eyes with some difficulty, Loki swallowed to moisten his dry throat and raised his hand to beckon with one curled finger.

"I need you... inside me." Loki answered, his eyes squeezing shut as Tony's fist clenched again. "Now." 

If Tony had been a puppy his tail would have been wagging out of control. No one had really ever demanded anything from him and he had to admit, it was a crazy turn-on. 

"Yes, Sir!" Tony agreed with a salute, unable to contain his excitement.

Temporarily moving from between Loki's legs, Tony sought out a bottle of lube he kept in a bedside drawer. As he shook the bottle he made a mental note to pick up another bottle. It seemed his recent conquests had left him in low supply but what he had would be enough for tonight. 

As Tony crawled back up onto the bed he could feel Loki's eyes on him, watching his every move. Loki let his legs fall apart once more, bent at the knees, as an invitation for Tony to get back to work. Moving back into place, Tony opened the little bottle he held and squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his hand, slicking his own hardened length with a good amount. He had no idea what Loki's sexual history was like but he wanted to do all that he could to ensure that Loki enjoyed himself as much as he knew he was about to. 

"What is that bottle?" Loki asked, his chest rising and falling heavily as he panted.

Looking up at Loki, Tony smiled and held the bottle out for Loki to see.

"Only the finest water-based lubricant money can buy. Makes things smooth and easy." Tony advised, shaking the bottle a bit before tossing it to the far side of the bed. 

Nodding his head and seemingly satisfied, Loki closed his eyes and relaxed back onto the bed. He wanted Tony to be quick with it, his body aching with need but for the moment, he would allow Tony to do whatever he needed to do. 

Tony used the remaining lube to ensure his first and second finger were lubed up nicely and when he was good to go, he pressed two fingertips to Loki's entrance, earning a soft hiss from his partner. Wriggling a bit, Tony coated the outside of the tight muscle before he slipped his fingers inside, purring at the heat. Loki moaned softly and tossed his head to the side, his jaw clenched. After pumping his fingers in and out a couple of times, Tony pulled them out completely and shifted in closer to Loki's body.

"Put your legs up." Tony instructed softly, running his hands along Loki's thighs as he leaned forward. 

Loki complied, raising one leg and then the other, hooking them together at the ankle behind Tony. Reaching between them, Tony grasped his own erection and pointed it at the right angle, pressing tentatively at that tight hole. 

"You ready babe?" Tony asked, his eyes on Loki's face.

Loki opened his eyes to look straight at Tony, the expression on his face and slight nod was all Tony needed. Pressing his hips forward, Tony breeched Loki's body and pressed inside, the tip of his length popping successfully in. 

"Ah, fuck..." Tony sighed, tilting his head back as he leaned forward, Loki's arms coming up to wrap around him beneath his arms. 

Loki let his eyes flutter closed as he felt Tony press steadily further inside of him until their bodies were fully connected. Tony waited a moment, getting his bearings before he grasped Loki's sides just above the hip and began to pick up a rhythm. Loki sighed and cooed, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed hard. Tony could feel Loki's nails curving into his back, leaving little half moons in his skin and it sent a thrill through him. 

Leaning forward, Tony tilted his head and peppered kisses along Loki's jaw and throat, feeling the moans Loki uttered rumble beneath his lips. A minute or two in, Tony set into a steady pace, rocking his hips and sinking inside of Loki as far as he could. The warmth and tightness of Loki's body was driving Tony absolutely mad. It had been a long time indeed since he had spent the night with another man and he'd never spent the night with anyone quite like this.

"Kiss me." Loki requested quietly, only it didn't particularly sound like a question. 

Raising his head, Tony kept one hand on Loki's side and raised the other to brush his fingers through Loki's long dark locks as their lips came together once again. Loki for his part was warm and yielding, giving Tony the reins in spite of the forwardness with which he requested things. As one kiss ended another one began and they didn't stop until both their lips were kiss-swollen. 

"Oh, Tony... _yes_..." Loki breathed, breaking from their kiss to tilt his head back into the pillow, eyes closed and expression blissful. 

Tony took the opportunity to gaze down at Loki, taking in the sight of him once more as he brushed hair from Loki's eyes. Tony could feel Loki starting to tense, knew he must be close by the way that Loki had started to writhe and buck back against his thrusts. Smiling as he picked up his pace, he fought his own eyelids to keep his eyes open... he wanted to watch this. 

All of a sudden, Loki's brows furrowed and he arched his back hard, pressing their bodies together. Those fingers at Tony's back clenched harder as Loki began to tremble. There was what Tony assumed was some sort of a curse in another language and a brief, broken cry of Tony's name before Loki's body seized up and his eyes shot open. 

Loki sought Tony's gaze as he shuddered and moaned, holding the attention of those dark eyes. As Tony felt Loki's muscles pulse around his length he knew he was done for and only a moment later, Tony was joining Loki in absolute bliss. The slick slide of their bodies coaxed Loki to climax, his warm seed spurting between them. Tony came deep inside Loki's body, riding his orgasm until he all but collapsed.

Silence and soft breathing followed, neither of them willing to break the quiet with any sort of words. Tony had pulled himself from Loki's body but lay atop him still, the back of his fingers smoothing along one cheekbone affectionately. Tony had never been much for cuddling but everything about this experience had been damn near otherworldly and in this bizarro world, Tony didn't dare move.

Loki kept his eyes closed for the most part, enjoying the simple affection that Tony offered as he basked in the afterglow of their coupling. If he was honest, he couldn't remember a time when anyone other than Frigga had touched him with so much care. Reaching up with one hand, Loki took Tony's hand and brought those careful fingers to his lips, kissing each fingertip as he opened his eyes.

"Not bad for a mortal." Loki observed with a soft laugh, his green eyes glimmering in the moonlight.

Tony arched a brow as their laughter subsided and smirked down at his lover.

"I am glad it pleases you, your Highness." Tony shot back in a truly terrible English accent.

Loki looked at Tony for a moment in silence, wondering what the man might think if he really knew the truth - that their silly nicknames were not all that far off. It seemed the people of Midgard were generally dull by Loki's standards and those who did believe in "alien worlds" were often seen as lunatics. Surely Tony was intelligent enough to accept the truth as it really was but what was that saying he'd heard thrown about? Something about ignorance being bliss. 

Pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind, Loki pulled his arms around Tony and held him tight. He had come to Midgard to enjoy his stay, to learn about the creatures of this realm and their technology. It seemed here in Tony's arms, he would get the education he sought and for now, that was good enough for Loki. As Tony nestled into the embrace and closed his eyes, the genius was alerted by a chuckle from above.

"I certainly hope you don't think we're done here. I'm just getting started." Loki stated, rubbing at Tony's back before grabbing a handful of Tony's rear.

Raising up just high enough to be able to properly look at Loki, Tony flashed him a cheeky sort of smile, a silent commitment to Loki's plans for the night. As Loki smiled back mischievously, Tony decided he could get used to this.


	5. All I Want Is You

The first time that Tony and Loki were intimate at work it was in the large executive restroom that was adjacent to Tony's massive office. They weren't exactly quiet or discreet about it and that was when Pepper knew Tony was in trouble. Well, at least his 'playboy' moniker was in trouble. Rare was the love interest that stuck around for more than a day or two and Loki had been the center of Tony's world for the last month. 

Pepper's suspicions were confirmed when Tony had asked her to go out on an errand with him on a cloudy Friday afternoon. He had made some sort of excuse about needing parts for this or that but Pepper knew better. He would have just had her send someone or asked JARVIS to order the parts in if that had been his true intent.

As Pepper and Tony made their way into Beverly Hills, Pepper furrowed her brow as she wondered just what in the hell Tony was shopping for, exactly. As if sensing her puzzlement, Tony glanced over at Pepper from the driver's seat.

"Before you say anything, yes, I am buying Loki a gift. Also before you say anything, don't say anything about it." Tony rambled, seeming unusually jittery.

Arching one fine brow, Pepper looked over at Tony, genuinely curious about the state that Loki had put Tony in. She hardly saw him any other way but confident and when he wasn't, it was because of work or war or something more... substantial than an office crush or a random fling.

"A gift, huh? You never buy them gifts unless there's a potential lawsuit involved." Pepper observed, turning her attention to the shops as they passed them by. "Since I haven't seen any HR paperwork, you must really like him."

The answering silence was enough to tell Pepper all she needed to know but a few moments later, Tony nodded his head.

"I really do." Tony admitted, pulling to a stop at a red light. 

Nodding once in understanding, Pepper couldn't keep a small smile from curving her lips. This was a different side of Tony - one she wasn't sure existed. He seemed genuinely flustered like someone that had a school crush.

"Why bring me along?" Pepper asked, glancing at Tony as the light turned green.

"I'm terrible at buying gifts. I figured since you're a woman, you know what nice things are." Tony answered honestly, changing lanes as he prepared to pull over to the shops.

"Tony, you're not buying something for a woman." Pepper answered with a laugh, unbuckling her seatbelt as Tony pulled the car in.

Rolling his eyes, Tony nodded his head as he caught his misstep and moved to unbuckle his belt and get out of the car as well. There was a valet waiting for him, like there always was... everyone wanted some of Tony Stark's disposable income. As the two got out of the car and onto the sidewalk they were ushered through the glass double doors of one of the finest custom jewelers in the city. 

"I just meant... I don't, you know, want to fuck this up." Tony clarified, offering Pepper a smile.

Wearing a mask of surprise, Pepper gave another soft laugh and nodded her head in understanding. 

"You must really like him." Pepper observed softly, following Tony's lead.

Leaning over the glass cases as Tony walked, Pepper followed next to him, eyeing the shiny baubles and gems that glittered so brightly in the carefully arranged lighting. It seemed everything in the cases was too plain or too gaudy. Tony was looking for something elegant, something fit for his Alien Prince. 

Pepper pointed out a few items she found as they walked but Tony dismissed them all one by one. It wasn't until they came to the second to last case in the row that Tony actually paused and inspected the pieces for more than half a second. A dark green mineral caught his eye, loose and lying on black velvet. It wasn't particularly shiny and wasn't faceted like the other gems but something about it called to him.

As if sensing the blood in the water, the well-groomed blonde saleswoman dashed to the counter where Tony and Pepper had stopped, keys jingling from an elastic band around her wrist. Smoothing her pencil skirt down, she tugged her blouse down a bit as well to put her best assets forward. Pepper had rolled her eyes at the vain attempt but it went unnoticed. 

"Hello Mr. Stark! What a pleasure to see you!" the woman chimed, flashing pearly whites as she leaned ever so slightly forward.

Looking up above the rim of his purple sunglasses, Tony offered the woman a half smile. Pepper kept her smile polite and her hands clasped in front of her as she stood beside Tony.

"Do you see something you like?" the woman continued, her tone suggestive as she pursed collagen-plumped lips.

Nodding his head a bit, Tony straightened up and pointed with one finger at the hunk of green in the case.

"Yeah. That one." Tony informed the girl, waiting patiently while she scurried to action.

Setting a piece of black velvet out on the countertop, the woman carefully arranged the mineral for closer inspection, a candy-sweet smile on her lips.

"This particular piece comes from Austria. It really is spectacular, isn't it? They say moldavite is formed by the impact of a meteor." the sales woman explained, offering Tony a jeweler's loupe. 

A wide smile broke across Tony's face at the mention of a meteor. He knew there had been something about this piece. Accepting the loupe, he grinned at Pepper before leaning to inspect the mineral a bit closer. 

"I'll take it. But I want it set. Maybe a nice pendant in gold with an accent diamond or two. If you have a napkin or something I'll sketch it up." Tony rambled, passing the loupe back to the saleswoman.

Blinking, the sales woman tucked the loupe into the pocket of her blazer.

"Oh, Mr. Stark, we have a resident artist here who could design something for you. It would be no problem at all." the woman explained, still smiling. 

Shaking his head, Tony pushed his sunglasses atop his head and reached for the pen he kept in the inside pocket of his suit jacket.

"No, I know what I want. This needs to be perfect." Tony countered, returning the woman's smile a bit sardonically.

Pepper smirked and turned to leave Tony to conduct his business, inspecting the row of cases opposite them in silence. Leave it to Tony to demand that he design the damn thing too.

"Oh, and I need it by tonight." Tony added, his smile growing brighter. "I hope that won't be a problem." 

\---

Some hours later, Tony sat in his overstuffed lounge chair fiddling with the little velvet box in his hands. He had been debating his choices with himself for the last hour or so. Was a pendant too girly? Did he pick the right one? In spite of Pepper's assurances, he felt incredibly insecure about the gift. He had to get this right. This one mattered.  


Opening the box, Tony peered down at the pendant he had designed. There were thin ropes of gold intricately encasing the piece of dark green moldavite, two small accent diamonds meant to look like the tails of the comet that brought the stone to earth. Truth be told, the jeweler had done a hell of a job bringing his idea to life though he supposed they ought to have done an amazing job for as much as he'd paid for the thing. 

"Sir, your guest has arrived." JARVIS informed, lights in the entryway flickering to life to illuminate the front door. 

Quickly placing the box into the pocket of his suit jacket, Tony rose from his chair and adjusted his shirt before striding toward the front door just as Loki walked in. Arms outstretched, Tony greeted the man warmly with a hug and a tender kiss to the cheek. Pulling back a little, Tony took a moment to appreciate his company.

"You look great." Tony said softly, looking over the smart emerald button-down shirt and black pinstriped slacks that Loki wore. "You always look great." 

Arching one brow up high, Loki smirked at Tony.

"You flatter me." Loki responded softly, his expression still bemused. "Is there something you require of me?" 

It took a moment for Tony to realize that Loki was questioning his motives and when the realization hit him, his brow furrowed and he raised his hands up before him as he shook his head.

"No, no. I'm not looking for anything from you. I just... I wanted you to know you looked nice." Tony clarified, smiling a small smile at his partner.

Loki seemed to find Tony's answer acceptable, letting the earnest tone of Tony's voice quell the innate suspicion within him for the time being. Offering Tony a smile, Loki canted his head to the side.

"What have you got planned for tonight, then? More time in the workshop? We could go over that new energy idea you've been working on." Loki suggested, unsure of what the plan was, exactly.

Tony didn't really have a plan. As Loki suggested things they might do he started to shake his head, ruling out the suggestions. He had thought about arranging some sort of fancy dinner or something but that all seemed a bit cliche to him. In the end, there had really been only one item on his agenda all day long. Looking up at Loki, he let himself smile a soft, sweet smile as he reached out and gently rested both hands on Loki's biceps, thumbs smoothing over the soft fabric of Loki's shirt.

"I just want to spend some time with you, that's all." Tony admitted, a sincerity in his dark eyes. "I thought maybe we could take a walk down on the beach or something."  


Loki's brows raised in surprise as he looked at Tony. The man was nervous, he could tell. It wasn't like Tony Stark to be nervous.

"If that is what you wish, I would accompany you on your walk." Loki agreed, stepping forward so that the hands on his arms could transition smoothly into more of an embrace.

Wrapping his arms around Loki, Tony sighed softly as Loki leaned in and pressed their lips together. 

"Why are you so anxious?" Loki asked in a murmur against Tony's lips before going in for a second kiss.

As their kiss faded and their lips parted each others company, Tony opened his eyes to look up into those bewitching eyes. He pulled one arm back from around Loki and fiddled with his suit jacket to pull out the little box he'd been hiding. 

"I bought you a gift." Tony answered, pulling back enough to raise the box to Loki's line of sight.

Furrowing his brow, Loki accepted the box and pulled it open, revealing the pendant inside. A smile curved his lips as he took in the details, noted the color scheme which fit him so well. 

"It's lovely. The design reminds me of something my family might have passed down through the ages." Loki said softly, raising his eyes to look at Tony once more. "Would it please you if I wore it?" 

Tony nodded his head, seemingly holding his breath as Loki turned his attention to the pendant once more.

"Then I shall wear it close to my heart." Loki agreed, moving to pull the chain from the box. 

Loki fastened the necklace at the nape of his neck and let the pendant hang down the front of his shirt, smiling at the weight of it on his chest. Tony studied the pendant, smiling at the result. The piece suited Loki perfectly. 

"All that anxiety for a piece of jewelry?" Loki asked after a moment, raising his eyes to meet Tony's gaze.

Tony let his gaze fall away for a moment before flickering back up to Loki's. Nodding his head over his shoulder, he offered the taller man a smile.

"Let's go for that walk." Tony suggested, hoping Loki wouldn't become too bored with his neurosis. 

Without much thought or conversation, the two were on their way. The walk down a carefully plotted staircase was not too lengthy and within a reasonable amount of time the two men found themselves on the beach below Tony's Malibu home. Stopping for a moment, Tony bent to remove his socks and shoes, setting them aside for now. Loki had watched Tony and bent to do the same, do as the locals do and all that.

As Tony straightened up, he reached for Loki's hand, entwining long, thin fingers with his own thicker, calloused ones. Loki spared a glance down at their hands before looking out at blackness of the rolling tide and the smattering of glittering diamonds above it. Sighing softly, he felt the slightest twinge of longing in his chest. Back in Asgard, the view of the stars and galaxies was incredible and he had to admit, he was starting to miss it.

The two walked hand-in-hand for a short distance, through fine sand and pebbles. Halfway down the stretch of private beach Tony pulled off his suit jacket and lay it down atop the sand, moving to sit down and make himself comfortable. Holding one arm out for Loki, he beckoned his partner join him. Loki folded down onto the sand gladly and smiled as Tony draped one arm across his shoulders. Loki's gaze sought the horizon and the heavens, looking for Asgard. Tony's gaze sought his partner's profile.

"You like the beach?" Tony asked softly, watching the expression on Loki's face.

Loki nodded, the smallest smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"It reminds me of home." Loki answered simply, his eyes searching the stars. 

Squeezing his arm a little more tightly across Loki's shoulders, Tony took a deep breath to calm his nerves before continuing.

"I don't know much about where you're from. Hell, I don't know much about you in general but I do know one thing... I really like you. And I was thinking that maybe this could be your home. Here. With me." Tony suggested softly.

Turning his head, Loki looked at Tony silently for a moment, his gaze studying those dark eyes. 

"Is that why you've bought me this pendant? So that I might be enticed to stay with you?" Loki asked quietly, trying to understand Tony's motives.

Smirking, Tony looked down at the sand for a moment, wiggling his toes in the fine grit.

"I'd buy you a damn island or a build you a city or put your name up on the moon in gaudy neon lights if it meant you'd stay with me." Tony answered honestly, smiling at the sand. "I don't know what it is about you, Loki... but you've got me under your spell."

"I like you too, Tony." Loki replied, smiling as he watched the shorter man. He couldn't help but feel a pleasant warmth growing in his chest upon hearing Tony's words. "But I have no use for your monuments of wealth. I don't want an island or anything of the sort. Your riches might impress the local whores that throw themselves at your feet but I seek other things."

Frowning a bit, Tony let his hand slide down Loki's back, rubbing there in small circles.

"What else do I have but my wealth?" Tony asked, somewhat rhetorically. 

Smirking and shaking his head, Loki shifted on their makeshift blanket and turned to face Tony. Reaching out with one hand, he cupped Tony's cheek and urged Tony to look at him.

"You silly man. All I want is you, not your gifts of material flattery. I'm drawn to you for the wealth of knowledge you possess, your creativity and ingenuity. I admire your skills and your wit. You're not like the others here on..." Loki answered, pausing as he nearly let himself slip. "Here in California." 

Tony held Loki's gaze with his own, quickly finding himself adrift in the depth of Loki's eyes. He'd never been with anyone who didn't want at least something from him no matter how small or grandiose. It was like a breath of fresh air to find someone who wanted him and only him. For all his flaws, Tony had never thought he'd see the day that someone would be able to tolerate him for who he was. He was an eccentric, a thinker, a boastful man full of false bravado. Yet here he was, with an impossibly beautiful man in a truly romantic spot under the stars who professed to desire everything that seemed to turn off everyone else. This was almost like a storybook and Tony didn't mind one bit.

"You're incredible, Loki." Tony said softly, still lost in those eyes.

"I know." Loki retorted, smiling a playful smile before tilting his head and leaning in.

Tony could swear that even Loki's kisses felt like nothing else and he swore he could stay just like this forever. When their kiss faded and Loki pulled back, it was too soon.

"So how about it?" Tony asked, the fact that Loki had never given him an answer had not escaped him.

Something passed over Loki's eyes like a storm cloud and he lowered his gaze for a moment. 

"I cannot promise you that I can stay, Tony. I've got obligations I will need to attend to eventually." Loki answered, looking back up into Tony's eyes.

Nodding his head once, Tony accepted the answer as it was. He had no desire to press the issue and potentially drive Loki away quicker than he might already leave. It wasn't what Tony had wanted to hear, but at least Loki hadn't said "no". Tony took comfort knowing that change was the only constant and maybe things would work out in the end. 

"Fair enough. At least tell me a little bit about yourself and these obligations of yours. Let me in, Loki, and I'll give you all of me while I have you." Tony requested, smiling as he reached up to tuck a bit of raven hair behind Loki's ear.

Chuckling softly, Loki's brow furrowed as he smiled at Tony.

"Why do you wish to know so much about me?" Loki asked, unused to anyone showing much of an interest.

Tony shrugged his shoulders as he shifted to face the ocean once more, leaning up against Loki casually.

"I guess I'd just like to know who I'm falling for." Tony replied candidly, offering Loki a sweet smile.

For once, Loki had no retort at the ready, nothing witty to say to guardedly counter the kindness he was being shown. In short, he was completely blown away by Tony's admission and the unabashed affection he was being shown. That warm swell in his chest rose once more and seemed to spread throughout his entire body, making him feel pleasantly tingly and curving his lips in his own smile. Loki felt the warmth intensify on his cheeks and it prompted him to bow his head discreetly. 

After a moment of silence, Loki raised his head and looked toward the stars once more as he took a deep breath and exhaled heavily before parting his lips to speak.

"I have an older brother and a loving mother. My father favors my brother heavily and is grooming him to take over... the family business. At home I spend most of my time reading and keeping to myself though happily, my mother has seems keen on sharing her formidable skills with me." Loki paused for a moment, glancing at Tony to find him rapt, something that caused Loki's expression to soften with affection. 

"I love my family dearly though they do not always love me back. Like you, I have a bit of a sharp tongue and I don't always avoid mischief when the opportunity arises. I find myself in trouble more often than not." Loki paused once more, lowering his eyes as he sighed softly. "I left home in search of knowledge, of some place in the realms where I might fit and make a home for myself since I'm not fit to take my father's place. That's when I found you." 

Tony's expression had gone slightly solemn with empathy as Loki spoke. Aside from the sibling and the fact that Loki's parents were still alive, they seemed to have similarities that endeared them to one another. If his mother had given birth to another son, Tony was almost positive his father would have preferred to leave Stark Industries to someone other than him. Pulling his arm across Loki's back once more, he hugged his partner gently.

"I know how you feel. My parents passed away a while back in a car wreck and left me to run the company. Good ol' Dad never liked me much, not that he showed, anyway. I always felt like I was a burden and a bother to him and so I put my nose to the grindstone and tried to prove myself with education and innovation. I had inventions under my belt in grade school and I graduated college at nineteen but it was never enough for him." Tony revealed, unable to hide the slight melancholy bitterness in his tone. 

Both men fell silent as Tony finished speaking, the sound of the waves working to try and soothe their souls was the only sound. Each brilliant mind was silently whirring with memories and feelings neither one of them wanted to unearth but so desperately needed to. It was a few solid minutes before Tony spoke up once again.

"Our similarities are all more reason why you should stick around, Loki. We understand each other. I know what it's like to feel like you're not worth a damn and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Just know that whether you stay with me or not... you're worth a damn to me. You're brilliant and gorgeous and just the right amount of wrong and I... I've been looking for someone like you my entire life." Tony murmured softly, his attention fully returned to Loki. 

Smirking softly, Loki felt a heaviness in his heart, knowing that whether he wished it or not, he would eventually be called back home. He knew he couldn't stay with Tony, not forever. Even if it were possible, he would outlive Tony by centuries and be left without him one day. The whole situation seemed doomed from the start but a small part of Loki's heart wished with every fibre that this fairy tale could come true.

"The future is uncertain, Tony Stark... but at least we have tonight." Loki answered simply, turning to pull Tony into his arms in a tight embrace. 

As Loki leaned in and ended their conversation with a passionate kiss, Tony resolved that for tonight, he would take what he could get. As far as the future was concerned, well...Tony Stark was never one to settle for anything less than exactly what he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a bit longer than I had anticipated due to my personal health circumstances but I hope it was worth the wait. :) As always, thank you for reading, commenting, bookmarking and kudos-ing!
> 
> Song inspiration: "All I Want Is You" - U2


	6. Stay

The early-morning sunlight had just begun to filter through the blinds at the far side of the room when Tony's dark eyelashes fluttered. Tony stretched just a bit, his toes curling beneath soft, expensive sheets. Within a few moments Tony's eyes slowly opened, the low light easy to adjust to. 

When the realization of the events of the night before hit him, he quickly turned his head, fully expecting to be alone. To his surprise, he found raven hair splayed across the pillow beside him, the milky angles and curves of one masculine shoulder, arm and slice of back peeking up from one of the aforementioned sheets. A smile slowly curved his lips as he rolled onto his side and reached out with one careful hand to run his fingertips down the length of Loki's arm. His touch was uncharacteristically gentle, purposeful in its slow movements as he tried not to wake his sleeping partner. Tony couldn't help but smirk at himself... he had never been so happy to see someone sharing his bed. 

A soft, sleepy sigh sounded loud in the otherwise silent room and Tony's smile only grew more fond as he shifted closer to his lover. Tony had never been much for cuddling but this occasion seemed like reason enough to be a little extra sentimental. For all of the times that he and Loki had fooled around with each other, this was the first time Loki had spent the night. It had been two weeks since he had asked Loki to stay with him and Loki still hadn't committed but the small part of Tony's mind that was an illogical dreamer secretly hoped that this morning meant something for the two of them.

Closing the gap between them, Tony curled and pressed tightly against the longer curve of Loki's backside. Gently, Tony worked his arm beneath Loki's and pressed his forearm against Loki's stomach in an embrace. Tilting his head, he traced along the muscles at the back of Loki's shoulder with the tip of his nose as he held Loki close. He tried hard to keep the bristles of his goatee from tickling Loki's skin but he knew it was inevitable. 

Shifting ever so slightly, Loki pressed back into the warmth of Tony's chest and hips, his mind just barely surfacing from the fog of sleep. As consciousness crept back into Loki, he raised his hand and rested it gently atop Tony's wrist, a sleepy smile on his lips. He hadn't intended to stay the night. He had fully intended to do as he always did... wait until Tony was asleep to disentangle himself and magic himself into the night. Maybe it had been the warmth of Tony's body or the way the man kept kissing him so tenderly even as he fell into the arms of sleep but Loki couldn't simply couldn't bring himself to leave. 

"Good morning, beautiful." Tony greeted softly, nuzzling along the back of Loki's neck. 

The smile on Loki's lips widened at the term of endearment and he kept his eyes closed, enjoying Tony's gentle touch. 

"Good morning." Loki replied, his voice deep and slightly hoarse with sleep. 

"I didn't expect to see you here this morning." Tony started, his nuzzling peppered with tender kisses. "But I'm glad you are. I've wanted to wake up like this, with you, since that first night we spent together." 

Laughing softly, Loki's eyes opened and he blinked lazily, not quite ready to make any real effort to wake up.

"I wouldn't have thought you so sentimental." Loki responded softly, pulling his arm back behind him to rub at Tony's hip and upper thigh.

"I guess there's just something about you that brings it out in me." Tony answered, still smiling as he stretched to press a kiss behind Loki's ear. 

Turning to face Tony, Loki gazed at the smaller man fondly for a moment, his hand coming up to brush through Tony's dark locks which were now sticking up in all directions - not totally unlike Tony's usual hairstyle, if he was honest. Tony closed his eyes like a puppy being pet, craning his neck to press into Loki's ministrations.

"Now that we're both awake, I really should leave you to the day's work." Loki said after a moment, leaning in to press his lips to Tony's forehead.

Tony's eyes shot open and his arms worked their way around Loki's middle to hold him tight.

"No, no... Hey, it's Saturday. I don't need to get anything done today. I'm the boss, remember? I can do whatever I want and right now what I want to do is lay here with you all damn day." Tony countered, an urgent tone to his voice that he hoped didn't sound too desperate. 

Furrowing his brow, Loki couldn't help but chuckle at the quickness with which Tony was willing to dismiss any of his actual responsibility to stay here where they were. 

"I'm certain there's something else you should be doing, even if you are the boss." Loki shot back, his tone gentle.

Squeezing his arms more tightly around Loki, Tony pressed in tight and refused to budge, even as Loki wriggled a bit in his grasp.

"There's nothing I want to do more than you." Tony quipped, unable to suppress the saucy grin that broke out across his lips. 

Rolling his eyes in response, Loki couldn't help but laugh. Tony was nothing if not steeped in innuendo and sexuality - not that he minded. 

"Charming, Mr. Stark." Loki chided playfully, reaching out to brush his fingers through Tony's hair once more. "Will it ever by my turn, I wonder?" 

Blinking, Tony's brow creased with confusion at Loki's comment. It took a moment for him to register just what Loki was getting at and when the realization hit, a look of surprise and slight embarrassment washed over his face.

"Well...not to play the blushing virgin but I've never actually done that before." Tony admitted, somewhat sheepishly. "Been on the receiving end, I mean." 

"Mm, well..." Loki purred, his hand sliding over Tony's arm to grasp a handful of Tony's rear playfully. "It's quite enjoyable when you've got an experienced partner."

For the first time in a long time, Tony Stark was nervous. Truly nervous in a butterflies in your stomach sort of way. A week ago, he had promised that if Loki let him in, he would give all of himself to Loki. Wouldn't this count as truly giving himself to his partner? Surely there wasn't a bigger show of trust and adoration than giving up the last part of him that remained "innocent". Chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip, Tony averted his gaze in thought for a moment before looking up at Loki once again.

"I'll make you a deal. Promise to stay with me this weekend, let me wake up next to you just like this again and I'm all yours." Tony offered, those butterflies taking frenzied flight. 

For a long moment Loki simply looked into Tony's dark eyes as he considered the deal that had been laid on the table. The hand that had been cupping Tony's rear moved to cup other flesh as he gently palmed Tony's cheek. For his entire life, people had wanted something from Loki, be it a specific performance or tasks to be completed and each and every one of those expectations had been one-sided. Never had anyone simply asked for his company and in exchange for something so intimate...

"You would have me be the one to show you such pleasure?" Loki asked, his voice soft and cautious as if he expected Tony to change his mind.

Nodding his head, Tony swallowed hard as he considered what he was about to agree to. It wasn't that Tony was afraid, necessarily... it was simply that he had never thought he would agree to something like this. Tony was a proud man, someone who didn't like to be vulnerable and being at the mercy of Loki's touch would render him as vulnerable as he'd ever been in his life. 

"Yeah, sure. Why not? I trust you." Tony answered, offering Loki a genuine smile.

Trust. Yet another thing that Loki was unaccustomed to. Even his own family didn't trust him and rightly so at times. He was a trickster and a liar who used cleverness and deceit to keep all the realms from seeing just how vulnerable he truly was. It was starting to seem like Tony Stark was bent on being contrary to everything he'd ever known.

Not knowing how else to respond, Loki leaned in and kissed Tony and Tony kissed him back. In the quiet minutes that followed, the two of them shifted in the bed, the sheets falling away from their bodies to pool on the mattress. Loki took up position between Tony's tense legs, leaning to press calming kisses to Tony's hips and stomach between whispered urges to relax. 

Tony found Loki to be an impossibly gentle lover, every touch of those long fingers was placed with delicate care. Those lips and fingers had him in a daze, each new kiss and touch adding to the pleasant electric fuzziness that coursed through his body. As Loki's head bowed between his legs and lips took him in, Tony was writhing and moaning, his hands curling into long black locks of hair. 

Loki was lost in his desire to prove himself, to show Tony that he could be worthy of the trust placed in him. Despite his current dominance over Tony, he followed every unspoken request, every whimpered direction. At Tony's direction, he soon found himself atop his partner, pressing ever so carefully into welcoming heat. Two bodies moved together for some time. The electricity between them intensifying as the sun's rays became brighter and brighter until the day was in full bloom and Loki was collapsing atop his lover, who was equally spent and utterly sated.

When it was all over, Tony and Loki found themselves back where they had started, curled in each other's arms. Neither of them spoke a word for fear of breaking the magic of what had just happened between them. Tony had never felt so vulnerable in his life and somehow, at the same time, he had never felt so secure. Loki had seen to it that his pleasure had come before his own and that the experience had been something that Tony would surely remember for the rest of his days.

As Tony tucked a lock of hair behind Loki's ear he smiled an adoring sort of smile up at the man who had run away with his heart and now, the last bit of innocence he could have claimed. It made him happy beyond measure to see his own adoration reflected back at him in those clear, beautiful eyes. 

"I think I love you." Tony said after a long while, the words having bounced around in his mind like a rubber ball for some time.

For a single, brief moment, Loki felt his heart stop. He hadn't had a solid plan when he'd first come to Midgard other than to do the research he'd set out to do. He had never intended for things to go this far, for any sort of sentiment to form. Yet here they were, the both of them sweaty and tired, limbs entwined and hearts beating in rhythm. It wasn't what Tony had said that had shocked him so... it was the realization that he was starting to feel the same way.

"That must be the pleasure talking." Loki said with a soft, anxious smirk, his defense mechanisms in full swing. 

Tony's face scrunched up and he frowned up at Loki for a moment before shaking his head. One hand reached up to caress the side of Loki's face, keeping their gazes locked.

"I know pleasure, Loki. The whole world knows I get enough of that. This is different. You're different. Being with you just feels right." Tony countered, staring into those green depths with an undeniable intensity.

"Tony... I --" Loki started, silenced suddenly by Tony's lips on his own.

Tony kissed Loki until he was breathless, rendered unable to finish whatever he might have said. When their lips parted, Tony kept close, his words ghosting across Loki's lips. For once, Tony didn't give a damn how desperate he sounded. 

"Please, just let me believe you love me too." Tony whispered, his eyes closed.

Loki stayed quiet until drowsiness took them and they both fell asleep, still wrapped in each other's arms.

\---

Loki awakened only minutes after initially dozing off, his energy renewed by a call heard only by him. He carefully moved out from under Tony's limbs, standing from the bed a moment later. With a flick of his wrist he surrounded himself with with a soft green glow, the wisps of light leaving clothes in their wake. On quiet feet he padded away from the bed and out the door. 

As Loki walked, a soft crackle of energy appeared before him, causing him to stop mid-step. The magical energy slowly solidified, taking the form of Frigga, Loki's beloved mother. She was radiant as always, dressed in a beautiful beige gown that cascaded down and pooled at her feet. She smiled as she fully materialized and took in the sight of her son.

"Loki, it's been ages. You look well. Tell me, how goes your time on Midgard?" Frigga asked, one hand reaching out for Loki's.

Loki grasped Frigga's hand in both of his and smiled fondly at his mother.

"I find Midgard to be most hospitable." Loki answered simply.

Nodding her head in what appeared to be approval, Frigga squeezed one of Loki's hands.

"I am glad. Thor has been inquiring about your absence. He misses his brother." Frigga advised, her expression loving.

Snorting, Loki looked to the side for a moment before bringing his gaze back to his mother. 

"You may tell him there is no need for his concern. I am well and rather enjoying my time away from him." Loki replied, giving his mother a placating smile.

Pulling a disapproving face only a mother could make, she canted her head to the side slightly, curls of golden brown hair falling over her shoulder. 

"Now, Loki. Be kind. Your brother loves you and wishes for you to be with him as he prepares for his coronation." Frigga said softly, a soft undertone of loving motherly scolding in her voice.

Frigga's words took Loki by surprise and the slight drop of his jaw and parting of his lips gave his emotions away. Furrowing his brow, he struggled to take in what his mother had just said.

"It has been decided, then? Thor is to take the All-Father's place?" Loki asked hesitantly, not really wanting to hear confirmation.

Nodding her head, Frigga smiled a sympathetic smile. She knew full well that Loki would not take the news well but it was not her decision to make.

"It has been decided." Frigga confirmed, reaching up to gently caress Loki's cheek. "A date has not yet been set but Thor will take the throne when he is ready. Do not let this decision give you cause to think that you mean any less to this family."

Loki couldn't help but lean into his mother's caress ever so slightly as he fought to keep the surge of anger within him at bay. 

"I understand. I will return when the time draws near." Loki begrudgingly promised, biting his tongue to keep himself from spouting venom. His mother did not deserve it. 

Frigga frowned gently, understanding Loki's feelings as only a mother could. Reaching for Loki's hands once more with both of hers, she offered Loki another smile.

"Let us talk of other things. Tell me of your time in this realm." Frigga prompted, hoping to quell her son's inevitable fury.

Taking the bait, Loki nodded his head and told his mother a story.

\---

When Tony's eyes opened an hour later, he found himself alone. Panic rose within him, his heart beating itself frantically against his sternum. Had he driven Loki off? He mentally chastised himself, regretting that slip of the tongue that must have been just one step too close to the edge. Throwing an arm over his eyes, he gave a frustrated growl, angry with himself.

"JARVIS, how long was I out? When did Loki leave?" Tony asked, his voice quiet and uncharacteristically despondent.

"The duration of your nap was sixty-four minutes, Sir. Loki is in the living room." JARVIS answered.

Lifting his arm from his eyes, Tony blinked and sat upright in bed. What was this man doing to him? For that moment that he had thought Loki was gone it was as if his world had come crashing down around him. Scrambling for a pair of boxers, he slipped into them and dashed into the living room. 

At the sound of rapidly approaching footfalls, Loki bid his mother a hasty farewell and just as suddenly as she had appeared, she vanished into thin air. Loki hadn't gotten the chance to tell her of his time with Tony Stark. 

"Loki! Hey. I, uh..." Tony stammered, stopping a few feet away and smiling like he'd just won the lottery. "I just...uh, wanted to see if you wanted some breakfast." 

Turning around to look at Tony, he smirked and looked the man over. Judging by Tony's disheveled appearance, he had hustled out of the bedroom and it didn't take a genius to know that Tony was just trying to cover his tracks and downplay his anxiousness. 

"That would be lovely." Loki agreed, smiling at his partner. 

The news of the All-Father's decision sat heavily in Loki's stomach, fermenting and churning but he tried not to let it bother him. The coronation was not yet imminent and he had plenty of time to plan a little congratulatory party for his dear brother Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back up and running! (Well, not running... I hate running) I hope you enjoyed the latest installment. I thought I'd throw in a little more fluff before the excrement hits the proverbial whirling air distribution machine.
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting, bookmarking and kudos-ing!! I really appreciate it. Every time I see that hit count rise I get more and more motivated to keep this story going. It makes me happy to see people enjoying my work. Until next time! <3
> 
> Song inspiration: "Stay" - Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko


	7. Letting Go

Loki had never expected to be the one left behind. Not so soon, anyway. One minute Tony was telling him about a trip to Afghanistan to debut the new "Jericho" missile to the army and the next minute he was... gone. Loki and Pepper had watched miserably as the reports of an ambush on the convoy rolled in, detailing an IED or something that had blown the humvees mile-high. Tony was nowhere to be found and presumed dead. 

One of Tony's military friends, someone Pepper called "Rhodey", was spearheading a search and rescue operation and taking a team to Afghanistan but no one really believed that he would find anything. No one could have survived that attack, not even Tony.

Loki would never admit it, but as he held Pepper and allowed her to cry on his shoulder, he let a few tears of his own slip. The story of his life never seemed to change, Loki thought bitterly. He would open himself to some glimmer of hope, some impossible dream of happiness and it would be stolen right from under him like a rug, leaving him flat on his face and in pain.

He wasn't sure how long had passed before he told Pepper he was going to take some time away, time to deal with the loss he'd been dealt. It could have been days or weeks or months and he wouldn't have known. Time seemed to be at a standstill - the office wasn't the same without Tony. If he was honest, his life wasn't the same without that smartass wit and those tender nighttime kisses. The hole Tony had left in Loki's heart was bigger than he thought it would be and it ached every time he let himself acknowledge it. 

As soon as he had bid Pepper a sad farewell, he said a mental goodbye to the life he had formed here on Midgard. Clutching the pendant Tony had given him in one hand, he returned to one of his little-known portals, taking the scenic route back to Asgard. 

\---

Frigga was surprised when she sensed the return of her son and even more surprised to find him holed up in his room, curled on his bed with his back to the door. 

"Loki?" Frigga started, her tone gentle. "Heimdall made no mention of your arrival." 

Shooting upright, Loki hastily rubbed one fist across his eyes to smear away the tears he'd cried in the night. Turning to look at his mother, he offered her a tired smile that lacked any sort of real happiness.

"I've just arrived. Perhaps he hadn't yet had a chance to tell you." Loki lied, covering for the fact that he liked to stay under the radar and use passages that even Heimdall could not see.

Nodding her head, Frigga rounded the bedside and moved to take a seat beside her son. Reaching out, she brushed some of Loki's dark locks from his face and took in the redness around Loki's eyes but said nothing of it. Loki was grateful to her for her silence. 

"You're just in time for supper." Frigga said quietly, rubbing one gentle hand along Loki's upper arm. "Come join us, won't you?" 

Frowning, Loki lowered his eyes to the bedspread beneath him and shook his head.

"I'm not hungry." Loki answered simply, avoiding the look he knew was on Frigga's face.

Giving a gentle squeeze to Loki's arm, Frigga dropped her hand to cover her son's, her lips set in a line of familiar concern.

"You must be tired from your travels, are you not? Surely you could spare us a few moments of your time. Your brother has missed you so... as have I. I have not shared the destination of your wanderings with Thor or your father but you may choose to regale them with stories of your travels if you like. I'm sure they would enjoy it very much." Frigga spoke tenderly though subtle persuasion was evident in her tone.

Raising his eyes to meet his mother's, he looked into her hopeful gaze and knew he could not refuse her. His mother had always been the only one who was ever reliably on his side and now that Tony was gone, she was the only living soul whose disappointment in him caused him any concern whatsoever. After a moment, Loki's gaze fell away and he nodded his head in resignation.

"I'll meet you in the great room." Loki agreed, feigning a smile. 

Frigga seemed to be content with Loki's promise and stood from the bed but not before leaning to press a gentle kiss to Loki's forehead. Without another word, Frigga turned and left Loki to do whatever he needed to do before facing the rest of Asgard.

\---

The meal went predictably terrible, particularly because Thor was sat to Loki's right and kept his brawny arm wrapped around his shoulders, attempting to squeeze his bones to paste periodically while exclaiming some sort of sentimental nonsense about brothers or family or happiness.

Happiness. Loki was sure that was one feeling he would be kissing goodbye. His time in Midgard had shown him there was so much more to the realms beyond this fortress they called home. Different surroundings and people who knew nothing of his past, right or wrong. Had no reason to make him feel like he wasn't worth their time. If anything, Tony had been doting, overly-concerned with him.

Raising one hand, Loki covertly pressed the pendant he still wore tucked beneath his shirt tightly over his heart. Everything was still so fresh and he missed Tony with every breath. He knew that even if he attempted to seek solace in his family they wouldn't understand. Asgardians were superior to all the creatures of the realms. What would he want with a human of Midgard? His feelings for Tony would be dismissed and made meaningless and Loki didn't want that. He wanted to hold onto his memories, to relish the way Tony had made him feel...important and loved.

Loki's reverie was interrupted by the loud, booming voice of his brother Thor, a sound which caused him to very visibly grimace.

"Brother! You're so quiet! Come, tell us of the mischief you've surely been up to in your time away from Asgard!" 

Turning his head, he smiled at Thor though the expression in his eyes was the very same flat annoyance he nearly always regarded his brother with. The big oaf grated his nerves raw as it was and now that he knew Odin had chosen Thor over him officially, well... Thor became all the more intolerable.

"I wouldn't dream of boring you with my stories. I'm certain everyone would rather hear of your heroic deeds." Loki answered in a monotonous voice, keeping his smile up for as long as he could bear it. "If you'll excuse me, I'm very tired." 

Standing from the table, Loki nodded toward his family before turning his back to the table and leaving the room. He didn't know where he was headed until he ended up on the boat docks, just past a large courtyard. As he looked out onto the waters and the stars beyond them, he couldn't help but think about that night with Tony on the beach. Sighing softly, he took a seat and let his legs dangle from the pier. 

For a long time, Loki sat in silence, simply watching the water as it flowed to the edge of the world. The ghost of a genuine smile curved his lips as he imagined what Tony's reaction would have been to see such a place as Asgard. Similar as it was to Midgard in some respects, the scenery was certainly very different. Surely Tony would have been most interested in the architecture, the incredible view of the galaxies beyond the city. 

Squeezing his eyes shut, Loki felt a tightness in his chest that seemed to be compounded by the weight of the pendant against his skin.

"You fool." Loki whispered, opening his eyes to look at the stars once more. "For all your genius you couldn't devise a way to save yourself." 

The tightness in Loki's chest spread to his throat, a stinging sensation prickling at the corners of his eyes. He was so lost in thought he didn't hear the footfalls approaching from behind him.

Frigga gathered her robes and moved to sit beside Loki. Her eyes were gentle as she studied her son's profile.

"There is someone you've lost. Won't you tell me about it to ease your sadness?" Frigga asked quietly, a soothing hand raising to rub at Loki's tensed back.

Loki's brow furrowed and as his expression crinkled up in grief he lowered his head to avoid putting his emotions on display.

"Why? What I've lost is of no consequence to this realm and I am of no importance to this family." Loki replied, his own voice soft and broken. 

Frowning, Frigga shook her head as she continued to rub at Loki's back.

"You are my son, Loki and I love you deeply. When you are hurting I hurt with you. Please... let me ease your burden." Frigga countered, her gaze unwavering. "It is clear this man meant much to you."

Eyes going wide, Loki raised his head to look at his mother. 

"How do you know it was a man?" Loki asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

Frigga laughed softly and shook her head, giving Loki's upper arm a squeeze.

"I did not raise my son to call a woman a fool." She answered matter-of-factly, a warm smile on her lips.

Frigga's words got a smile from Loki and he bowed his head in silent agreement. As his mother scooted closer, draping an arm across Loki's back, he was never more grateful for her. If she passed judgement on him she would never say an unkind word, opting only coach him gently and with love. Inhaling a deep breath, Loki exhaled heavily as he prepared to breech the dam he'd built around the feelings that had been threatening to consume him since Tony had gone missing.

"His name is-- was Tony. He was a brilliant man who didn't deserve what they called him. The people of Midgard referred to him as "The Merchant of Death" because of his trade. The company his father built made their fortune developing and selling weapons to their military." Loki explained, pausing for a moment to glance at his mother and see her listening quietly, intently.

The smile that curved Loki's lips now was one of sadness and the grief that burned within him was evident in his eyes as he looked out at the water once more. Clasping his hands on his lap, he exhaled another great breath which came out shakier than he had intended it to.

"We saw something in each other. Saw ourselves in each other. He treated me with kindness and actually valued the things I had to say. I had never felt more important in my life... for once, I was contributing, I was making a difference and he showed me love in return. We built things in his massive workshop and talked the nights away and..." Loki's voice finally broke as the tears collected in his eyes, temporarily turning the brilliant sky into a watercolor. "I miss him with all my heart. He went on a trip to sell his wares and was ambushed. They sent out a party to search for him but by all accounts, he is presumed dead."

The tears Loki had been desperately trying to hold back fell down his cheeks and dropped in silent splashes on his hands and thighs. Closing his eyes, the softest whimper worked its way from his throat as he fought to regain his composure. Frigga frowned and squeezed Loki close to her, turning her head to press a tender kiss to Loki's nearest shoulder.

"You loved him." Frigga observed softly, smiling a sympathetic smile. 

Loki hesitated briefly before nodding a silent confirmation. He had never actually spoken those words to Tony though he wished that he had. Frigga sighed quietly before parting her lips to speak once more.

"He lives on, Loki. In your heart. Think on the memories you made with this man, of the joy they bring you and let it raise you from your sorrow to know that for however short a time, you experienced something truly wondrous. I know that the hurt will not fade with the passing of the night and I will always be here to listen, if you have need of it. You needn't worry about your inquisitive brother. I will speak with him."

Looking up at his mother once again, his eyes reddened and glassy with tears, Loki offered his mother a genuine smile and turned at once to pull his arms around her. Frigga returned the embrace, holding Loki close to her heart. 

For a long time, Loki and Frigga stay huddled together under the stars. Frigga aimed to soothe and comfort and Loki let her, knowing that right now, she was the only thing keeping him from falling apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter than the other chapters have been but I couldn't handle too many heartbroken Loki feels.
> 
> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> Song inspiration: "Letting Go" - Patrick Doyle (From the Thor Motion Picture Soundtrack)


	8. Mad World

It seemed that every time Tony closed his eyes he heard gunfire, explosions, shouted instructions in a language he didn't understand. These days he drank more heavily than ever, trying to adjust to the glowing hole in his chest that reminded him every day of his almost-death. The whiskey kept his mind dulled enough to function, kept him from screaming most nights. 

Since he had returned, it was as if the rug had been all but completely pulled out from under him. Obadiah Stane, the man that he had trusted for most of his life, the man who had run Stark Industries until Tony could take over had been selling Stark's own weapons to "the enemy". It was shrapnel from a Stark Industries missile that was lodged in his chest, trying to work its way into his heart and it was Obadiah who had ordered the attack on Tony. Understandably, the whole ordeal had resulted in a whole new set of trust issues.

Now, with the plot exposed and Obadiah gone, Tony threw himself full-force into his work. When he wasn't out in the public eye, all puffed-chest pseudo-bravado, anyone who was looking for Tony knew they could find him in his workshop. He had already gone through several prototypes and a healthy amount of trial and error and now he had a functional fleet of suits, improvements on the one that got him the hell out of...well, Hell. His suits were marvels of modern engineering, really. The things could fly for fuck's sake. Then again, would the world expect anything less from Tony Stark?

Nights of sweat, sparks and whiskey had produced what he referred to as 'repulsors', his way of flight and weapons he could use to blast his way out of anything to keep himself safe. The Iron Man had originally been made to ensure his survival but increasingly, he found that maybe he had a new calling. Maybe he should be the one to keep everything safe. It was sadly ironic that he was keeping everyone safe from the monster that he himself had had a hand in creating to begin with. It was also disconcerting that now that the Iron Man existed, there seemed to be more monsters than ever. 

Of course the military wanted a piece of it and, after Rhodey's determination to find him and bring him home (and a lot of arguing), they got it. Tony built and rebranded a suit as "War Machine", a sort of government sidekick to his Iron Man who could patrol the skies and make haste to neutralize any situation that was a threat to the good ol' US of A. 

For all the glory and showboating that had happened since those days in a dark cave in Afghanistan, Tony was a lonely man. When Tony opened his eyes again in the wee hours of a random Tuesday morning, it was with a gasp. One hand shot out to the side of the bed that Loki had once occupied and fingers found cool sheets. He didn't like to admit it, but when he drank it was to forget not only his time in the caves but also to forget the man that he loved that was gone when he came home. He supposed he didn't blame Loki... couldn't blame him. The world had assumed that Tony Stark, billionaire-playboy and now philanthropist had gotten himself killed. Hell, Tony had thought he had gotten himself killed. If it hadn't been for Yinsen, he would surely have come home in a ziploc bag.

Stretching, Tony pulled himself out of bed and used his new nightlight to navigate his bedroom without switching on the lights. Throwing on a loose pair of sweats and an almost certainly dirty t-shirt, he made his way down to his workshop. As he opened the door he stared for a moment at the pieces and parts laying around, the boots and gloves and bits of armored suit that he had crafted. He might have been alone but at least he had his toys. 

Making his way past his workbenches, he kicked DUM-E for good measure before dropping onto his favorite seat. With red-rimmed, bleary vision he looked around at all that he had accomplished. Anyone else would have been congratulating themselves but when the cameras were gone, all Tony saw was a distraction. Tony had always been the man who got what he wanted and what he wanted most of all was Loki.

"Might I suggest another attempt at sleep, Sir? The data I have indicates you were tossing and turning throughout the night." JARVIS suggested.

Raising his head to look toward the ceiling, he smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"You can suggest anything you want, JARVIS... but you know as well as I do that I can't sleep anymore." Tony answered, his voice hoarse from the burn of alcohol and lack of rest.

"Is there anything I can do to help, Sir? Put on some whale sounds, perhaps?" JARVIS asked, ever the helpful program.

Shaking his head, Tony leaned forward with his elbows on his worktop, his gaze focused on a random scrap of metal a few inches away.

"Yeah. Call Loki and tell him to come home." Tony replied, his tone soft and defeated.

His request was met with momentary silence before JARVIS spoke up once again. Sometimes Tony was convinced that the A.I. had developed emotions.

"The past forty-three attempts have resulted in an out of service message, Sir." 

Frowning, Tony muttered a quiet "I know" as he picked up a screwdriver, twirling the tool around in his hands. For a moment, he wondered if he shouldn't take to the sky, fly around a while and clear his head. JARVIS would have his back if he happened to fall asleep. Even if he didn't, Tony couldn't say he would have protested if he were to fall out of the sky.

In the end, Tony stayed inside. In spite of his own inclination to disappear into a self-induced oblivion, he knew that people needed him. Pepper needed him. In fact, she had been trying to call him for the past hour and a half while he stared at a screen in front of him, reading schematics and test results.

On the sixth attempt, he actually answered the phone.

"Jesus, Tony! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? You know that I... we worry about you when you don't answer." Pepper said in a rush, the concern obvious in her voice.

"I know Pep, I'm sorry. I just get to working on things and I can't always get to my phone." He replied blandly, sliding through page after page documents.

Pepper sighed heavily, a sound she didn't even bother to try and hide. She had grown comfortable enough with Tony lately that she left herself an open book to her boss and dare she say, her friend.

"You know as well as I do that you're full of shit, Tony Stark. JARVIS controls your incoming phone lines and you are fully capable of answering no matter what you're up to." Pepper countered, a loving sort of annoyance in her voice.

Sighing heavily, Tony sent the documents away with a wave of his hand and sank into the chair he'd been glued to for the past ninety minutes. Throwing his hands up in the air in defeat, he closed his eyes.

"You got me. I was ignoring you and I'm an asshole and now, I'm sorry. How can I help you?" 

There was a silence on the other end of the line that lasted just long enough to be uncomfortable before Pepper spoke up finally.

"I just wanted to check and make sure that you were doing okay. You've been extra reclusive lately. You're my friend, Tony, and I worry about you." 

Tony reached up with one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, brow furrowing tried to ease the sleep-deprivation induced hammering in his skull.

"I appreciate it. I do. But you know you don't have to worry about me. I'm a big boy and I've got plenty around here to keep my mind busy. In fact, I've been thinking of crafting a giant running wheel. You know, the kind that you put in hamster cages? Just to make sure I'm getting enough exercise." Tony responded, only halfway facetious. "Maybe I could make a giant drinking bottle to go along with my little setup. Fill it with whiskey. Yeah, I think I could make that work." 

There was that silence again.

"I'm coming over. Put some pants on." Pepper advised, just before the line went dead. 

Dropping his head back against the chair he sat in, Tony closed his eyes. No need to rush... he already had pants on.

\---

Two hours later, Tony and Pepper sat in his living room, reclined on the sofa and watching something decidedly non work-related. Tony didn't even know the name of the movie, if he was honest... Pepper had shown up in a flurry of Chinese takeout and rented discs and Tony had decided to go along with the plan without protest, lest he burn to death beneath one of Pepper's glares. 

Glancing up from his chicken chow mein, Tony caught the tail-end of a scene in a movie he hadn't been paying any attention to. What he assumed were the main hero and heroine were hand-in-hand, kissing under the stars. Pushing away his food, Tony averted his eyes and wondered when he had become such a teenage girl. Seeing the two characters so happy, even for that brief moment, caused something to clench inside of him and it was all he could do to keep from becoming a rather un-becoming emotional mess. 

Reaching for the remote, Pepper shut the movie off and frowned as she set the remote back down on the coffee table. 

"It's been months, Tony. You're going to have to get over him sometime, you know that, right?" Pepper said softly, carefully, before turning to look at Tony with gentle eyes. "Unless you want to drive yourself crazy."

Laughing humorlessly, Tony shook his head and raised up just enough to be able to level a glance at Pepper.

"I went crazy years ago. Maybe I was born crazy. Wasn't there a recent article about creativity and psychosis? I'm not just an inventor, Pepper... I'm an artiste." Tony responded, offering Pepper a ghost of his usual smartass grin.

Pepper's thin lips set in a frown and she set her carton of food down in favor of turning to face Tony directly. She had just parted her lips to speak when Tony cut her off.

"Look, I know I need to get over it - him. I know it in my head but... for once, my heart is the organ giving me trouble and I just... I can't help but hope that maybe he'll come back some day." Tony admitted, the new smile on his lips genuine and sad.

Tony may have been an inventor, an artist and by some accounts a nutcase but he was not a psychic and he didn't see it coming when Pepper seemed to teleport across the couch and pull him into a hug. It took Tony a moment to acclimate, not all that used to human interaction recently but he managed to raise his arms slowly to return the offered embrace. It felt good. 

"I know you still care about him, and hey, maybe he will come back. But in the meantime, I miss you, Tony. We all do." Pepper said softly, rubbing soothing circles on Tony's back with one hand.

For once, Tony was silent. It gave him some comfort to know that people cared about him and not just superficially. If he hadn't had the support system of Pepper, Happy and Rhodey he would have gone off the deep end properly a while back. 

"Thank you." Was all Tony could muster. 

Pulling away after a moment or two, a grin broke across Pepper's face as she stood and pulled the disc from the player, putting it back in its case before reaching for one of the other movies in the stack that she had brought. 

"Now, enough of that sappy nonsense. Let's fast forward to the explosions!" She announced, popping an action movie in before returning to her seat triumphantly. 

As the title screen for an action movie popped onto the large TV in front of them, Tony remembered why it was that he loved Pepper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the dominos begin to fall.
> 
> Thanks as always for the love and sorry about the wait. I fell into a bit of writer's block tar and couldn't get out for a while. I do believe I've got this story (VERY) loosely plotted out. We're about halfway there. :) 
> 
> I love to hear what you guys think.. let me know!
> 
> Song inspiration: "Mad World" - Gary Jules (cover)


	9. The Kill

A few weeks of sulking and seclusion had done Loki good and though he still dearly missed what he had lost, the pain in his heart had taken a backseat to his plans for his glorious brother on his big day. The little congratulatory surprise that Loki had arranged for Thor's coronation couldn't have gone better. It had been a test of Thor's mettle against the Jotun, an invading force that was historically at odds with Asgard. It was a test that Thor had failed spectacularly and Loki was glad of it. For once, he could expose his brother for the impulsive, irresponsible buffoon he knew him to be and tarnish the golden, gleaming hue that the All Father seemed to paint him with. After all was said and done, Odin had banished Thor to Midgard in a fit of righteous anger and then, there was only Loki.

Yet, for all the satisfaction the events had brought Loki, he could not celebrate even privately. Since he had accompanied Thor, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three on their ill-conceived journey to Jotunheim, his mind had been racing, a tightness of uncertainty and confusion knotted in the centre of his chest. Not moments after Volstagg had warned the lot of the vicious freeze of the Jotun touch, Loki had been grabbed by a Jotun soldier on his left forearm. As his armor disintegrated, he had prepared for pain but had found none. Instead, his flesh had turned blue as frost, blue as the Jotun themselves. Both Loki and the Jotun who still held him went wide-eyed in surprise, sharing a silent look between them before Loki dispatched the giant with a single thrust of his blade. Now, that moment was all Loki could think about. 

Sat on his bed in his chambers, Loki turned his hand this way and that, searching for some way to make the illusion - if that was indeed what it had been - reappear. He could not keep himself from wondering the same questions over and over, picking apart the battle, looking for answers until he was mentally exhausted. Why hadn't he been burned or harmed at all? What was the meaning of the ghastly color that had seeped into his normally pale flesh? Loki knew he could not rest until he knew the answer to his questions. 

It was a few hours later that Loki found himself in the Asgardian weapons vault, quick strides taking him down the end of the corridor to the Casket of Ancient Winters, a weapon of the Jotun turned relic that Odin had stolen from them so many years ago. Loki heard familiar footfalls behind him in the quiet chamber but chose to ignore them, opting instead to place his hands on the casket, hoping against hope that the dark suspicions that had crept into his mind since Jotunheim would be dispelled as he stared nervously at his hands.

"Stop!" Odin called, from the end of the hall. 

Eyes wide, Loki watched as that very same shade of blue crept from his fingertips and up along his clenched fists as he gripped the handles of the casket. Unbeknownst to him, the blue had crept along all visible skin, turning milky white into ghastly blue, raised markings appearing across his face, the very same that marked the Jotun. Even his eyes had turned a deep shade of crimson red. It was then that he decided to acknowledge the man standing at the end of the hall.

"Am I cursed?" Loki asked, his voice soft and his back to Odin still.

"No." Odin answered quietly, trying to avoid the conversation he never wanted to have with his youngest son.

"What am I?" He asked, though the answer was already clear to him.

Odin sighed imperceptibly, a hesitance in his lone visible eye.

"You're my son." He answered, his voice softer than usual, a truth in his tone. 

"What more than that?" Loki pressed darkly, setting the casket down and breaking the transformation before turning around to face his father, a look of suspicious curiosity on his fine features.

Loki's question was met with silence from Odin, who only looked on with sadness in his heart. He had kept this secret from Loki for his entire life, planning to raise him along with Thor just like any Asgardian boy. 

"The casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" Loki asked, his eyes narrowed as he started back down the hallway toward his father.

Odin remained silent, a part of him hoping that Loki would abandon this questioning, return to blissful ignorance. When it became apparent that Loki would not drop this, he murmured a reluctant "no" before deciding to give Loki the information he wished to hear. 

"In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring. Abandoned. Suffering. Left to die. Laufeyson." Odin explained, recalling that day in Jotunheim and the pity he had felt for the infant he'd found uncovered, unwanted and crying.

"Laufey... son." Loki repeated, looking off in contemplation as the weight of that statement hit him, the significance of that name... his true name.

"Yes." Odin confirmed, still speaking quietly.

"Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?" Loki questioned, his mind struggling to understand the bombshell that had just been dropped on him.

"You were an innocent child." Odin responded simply.

"No. You took me for a purpose. What was it?" Loki continued, narrowing his eyes into a suspicious glare as he awaited Odin's response.

Loki's question was met with a silence that sent Loki's heartbeat into triple-digits as he became more and more flustered and confused. Loki waited only a moment before he couldn't take it anymore.

" _Tell me!_ " Loki demanded, screaming the words at his... what he had thought was his father.

"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace through you." Odin answered reluctantly, his one-eyed gaze steady and unwavering.

"...What?" Loki choked, the emotions within him stirring into a boil as tears sprang to his eyes.

"But those plans no longer matter." Odin added, almost an afterthought.

"So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?" Loki suggested, his voice wavering with pain as he considered the idea. 

"Why do you twist my words?" Odin asked, a sadness in his voice at his son's manipulation of what he had revealed. 

"You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?" Loki added, nearly begging Odin for a rational answer, something that would make this all make sense to him.

"You're my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth." Odin replied honestly.

"Why? Because... I-I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night?" Loki pressed on, the strings holding his fragile state together fraying and breaking under the strain of his emotional stress.

"No..." Odin breathed, the heaviness of the situation starting to break him.

Slowly, Odin began to crumble to the stone floor, one hand outreached toward his enraged son. Loki merely stood over his father, a burning hatred in his glassy eyes as he stared down at the elder god.

"It all makes sense now... why you favored Thor all these years. Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!" Loki shouted, his words venting the incredible anger that had welled up within him like ash from a volcano.

Odin murmured unintelligibly as his eyes closed, his body settling into a comatose-like state known as "Odinsleep". Staring down at his father, Loki's anger simmered down as he realized Odin had lost consciousness though the betrayal and pain he felt as a result of the revelation still festered bitterly within his heart.

Calling for the guards, Loki knelt down beside Odin and waited while his mind spun, weaving his own stories and reasons for what he had been told. The guards came only moments later and immediately tended to Odin, lifting the fallen god from the ground to carry him to his chambers. 

Loki watched as Odin was taken away, the tears still clouding his eyes. Rather than follow the group, he set off for his own chambers. As he shut the door behind him, he let out a scream of frustration, green-colored energy crackling from his fingertips in response to his unrestrained emotion. When Odin had told two naive boys of their equal chance at the throne so many years ago it had all been a lie. He had never been good enough, would never be good enough. He wasn't truly a part of this family, or even the same race as the others. He had been damned from the start. 

Loki felt betrayed, hurt and desperately confused about what this meant, where this left him. The giant that the lot of them had confronted in Jotunheim after Thor's interrupted coronation had been Laufey, his father. His father. Even Frigga, for all the love and kindness she had shown Loki had known it all to be a lie though she had never given him the false hope of ascending the throne as Odin had. She had not built him up to dream the impossible. Frigga had taught him her craft, honed what abilities Loki had interest in to make him strong on his own and for that, at least, he was thankful. 

Taking several measured breaths as he dropped onto the edge of his bed, Loki closed his eyes, trying to will himself back into that calm demeanor he usually held. Odin was in the Odinsleep, Thor was banished. Even if it had all been a lie, that left only him. No one else aside from Frigga knew his true parentage and he could use that to his advantage. Despite the lies that Odin had told him, he would be King of Asgard yet. He could prove himself, frost giant or not. No one had to know. It had been kept secret so far, hadn't it?

Standing from his bed, he raised his hands to wipe at his eyes. Exhaling shakily, he put on the mask he always wore, calm and proud. True Asgardian or not, he had been raised an Asgardian Prince and with Odin out for who knew how long, his people needed him.

\---

For all his confidence and bravado, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three had not been pleased to hear of the news from Loki himself, dressed in formal armor with Gungnir in hand, from Odin's throne. Loki could see in their eyes that they swore their fealty to him not out of true desire to serve their new King, but out of sworn duty to serve the King of the realm, no matter the circumstances. The warriors had taken one knee and acknowledged Loki's refusal to undo Thor's banishment but it wasn't without question. Loki had seen it in the way Sif's eyes burned as she stared him down that they would not stand for Thor's continued exile and Loki knew he had to do something to solidify his place in command, the seat at the throne he had been promised for so long. 

Waiting until the warriors had left the throne room, Loki stood from his throne and returned to his chambers, removing the gilded golden armor he wore before making his way to the chamber in which Odin lay. Frigga was there by Odin's side as she always was and she looked up to smile at her youngest son as he took a seat on the opposite side of his sleeping "father".

This was not the first time that Odin had fallen into this state but this time was different. Frigga had voiced her concerns about the state of her beloved husband and Loki did his best to seem empathetic despite the bitterness that ate away at him inside. He waited until the right moment to tell his mother of the conversation he had with Odin in the weapons vault not long ago.

"Father has told me of my true parentage." Loki said, his gaze flickering up to look at Frigga and judge the reaction to his words.

The expression on Frigga's face was one of understanding. She nodded, a gentle glimmer in her eyes as she returned her son's gaze. 

"He had hoped that you never need find out." Frigga answered, holding Loki's gaze.

Loki's lips set into a frown as his mother spoke and he looked down at the sleeping god, his unspoken thoughts feeling sour like venom as they collected on his tongue.

"Why did he lie?" Loki asked, raising his eyes once more with an expectation of the truth from the one person who had never wronged him.

Frigga sighed softly and offered a soft smile before she replied in a soft, even voice.

"He kept the truth from you so that you would never feel different. You are our son and we your family. We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us. And your brother."

Loki stared at his mother for a moment as he wondered at the meaning behind the added sentiment for his exiled brother.

"What hope is there for Thor?" Loki asked, subtly looking for any sort of insight that Odin may have shared with Frigga.

"There is always a purpose to everything your father does." Frigga answered simply, still holding Loki's gaze.

Those were words that Loki had heard about each and every decision that Odin had ever made. The All-Father could do no wrong. After all, if you disagreed with a decision that had been made, it was merely because you didn't understand the _purpose_ behind it. Loki had believed in those words for his entire childhood but now, he failed to see the purpose behind what Odin had done in keeping his own true origins from him. 

Sitting back into shadow, Loki remained silent as his mind started to whirl once again. He should have known better that Odin would exile Thor permanently, truly punish the golden child for his wrongdoings. Thankfully, he had a chance to make this right, to ensure that justice was truly carried out and without the sentiment that Odin held so deeply for his favorite son. Loki was in charge now and he would see to it that Thor stayed put. 

After spending a few more minutes in silence at his father's side, Loki bid his mother farewell and stood to leave the room, his stride long and purposeful. He had decided he would visit Thor himself, tell him of the news of their father and the state of the throne.   
Loki made his way toward the stables and the horses, ready to set off for the Bifrost. He had a realm to visit and news to deliver but first, he thought he would stop by and see an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that this story will follow movie canon fairly closely but there will be deviations in conversations and circumstance to come. 
> 
> Thanks as always for the love!!
> 
> Song inspiration: "The Kill" - 30 Seconds to Mars


	10. Apologize

In the quickly fading light Loki had stood outside of the Malibu beach house where he used to spend his nights in quiet reverie for a little while, hands in the pockets of his black Midgardian dress pants. This was a place that was both sweet memory and heartbreak and it stirred up a familiar ache in his chest just setting eyes on it again. It felt like it had been forever since he had been here, since he'd last seen Tony. Of course, he had no delusions about seeing Tony here tonight but he had very much wanted to take a short walk down memory lane before setting off to confront his brother. 

Loki had been just about to turn his back to the massive estate when the lights came on, illuminating the space just past the massive windows. He thought it strange that the decor was the same as it had been, having assumed that someone else would have taken residence in the home since Tony had been killed. Pepper, perhaps, and he wouldn't have thought she would have the same taste in furnishings. 

Loki's brows rose in pleasant surprise when he saw Pepper round a corner and cross the room to go further into the house. It seemed appropriate that Tony would have gifted Pepper his home as she had always seemed to be his likely successor. No one knew the business like Pepper Potts and some might even argue that she knew it better than Tony himself. Smiling to himself, Loki started down the driveway toward the front doors, happy to have found Pepper here instead of having to navigate the mess of security checkpoints at Stark Industries. 

Loki was about ten feet from the front door when his heart stopped. There, in full view of the glass doors stood what was almost certainly a ghost. Tony Stark stood in jeans and a t-shirt, holding his quintessential glass of throat-scorching alcohol, a smile on his face. Brows furrowing, Loki averted his gaze for a moment, wondering if he was hallucinating the sight. It couldn't be real. Surely he had gone completely mad under the stress of the emotional rollercoaster he had been on recently. 

Raising his head once more, Loki took a few more tentative steps toward the front doors, cautious and foolishly optimistic. Maybe there was a chance that he wasn't just seeing a spectre. Either way, now that he had caught a glimpse there was no turning back. 

Loki was about three feet away when he felt his heart break. Pepper had returned to the room and was swept into an embrace, leaning in to kiss Tony in a manner only fit for lovers. Loki's pulse went into overdrive as he stared at the sight before him, unsure of whether his treacherous mind had created this to move him on or if it was really and truly happening. All it took was a few quick strides and JARVIS let him in, just like he used to. 

Both Pepper and Tony turned their eyes to the front door in surprise as the doors opened without command and their jaws simultaneously dropped when they saw Loki just inside the threshold. Loki thought bitterly that it would have been almost comical to see the two looking like that if it didn't hurt him so damn much. When Tony dropped his glass of alcohol to the floor Loki was convinced this was no illusion of the mind. 

"Loki?" Tony started, his tone as shocked as the look on his face. "I-- When..."

Loki had to bite his lip to keep it from trembling as the sting of tears hit his eyes. He didn't even notice when Pepper slinked off mumbling something about "cleaning up the mess". Fists clenching at his sides, Loki felt rooted in place, unable to move. 

"You're alive." Loki said finally, his tone ever so slightly betraying his relatively calm demeanor. "You're alive and no one thought to tell me?" 

It didn't dawn on Loki that the mortal would have no way to contact him, no way of knowing that he had gone home to Asgard. Hell, the nine realms were fairy stories here on Midgard. Loki could only think of the horrid ache in his chest and the fact that Tony, for all his sweet words and grand gestures, had dropped him like a bad habit.

Tony sighed heavily and closed his eyes for a moment, his own pulse racing. He wanted nothing more than to run and grab Loki and hold him tight but in the end, all he could do was take a few steps forward.

"Loki, Pepper had told me you'd gone away. I couldn't get through on your cellphone and I--" Tony started, interrupted by a soft sound that Loki had tried to keep back.

"How long were you gone?" Loki asked, unable to keep the tremble at bay any longer. "I waited for you. I listened to every awful news story and looked into every shred of possibility that you might be alive. They said you were _dead_ , Tony. Dead. I never would have left if I'd known..."

Taking one more step forward, Tony reached out toward Loki with one hand, a placating gesture. 

"I was gone for three months. I thought I was dead too but... well, it's a long story." Tony explained, approaching Loki like one might approach a cornered animal. "Ask Pepper. I was a fuckin' mess when I found out you were gone, Loki. I looked for you..."

Glancing at the shadow Pepper cast across the light colored flooring briefly, Loki turned his burning gaze back to Tony, unable to believe the very words he was hearing. If Tony really had been searching for him, Heimdall would have seen it, wouldn't he? Heimdall would have told him of the mortal who sought him out, right?

" _Did_ you search for me?" Loki questioned, his eyes narrowing even as tears threatened to slide down his cheeks. "How hard did you search, Tony Stark?" 

For a moment, Tony was taken aback, surprised by the coldness in Loki's tone. This wasn't the same man he had left, the man that he loved, was it? The Loki he knew had been so much more carefree. Snarky, but carefree. 

"I--I swear to you, I did my damnedest. I had JARVIS calling that line ten times a day. I even went out in the suit to look for you every night for weeks, searching where I thought you might be but... Jesus, Loki, trying to find you is like chasing the stars. Every time I thought I was close, when I could just about see the light, I realized I was miles away and hopelessly lost." Tony explained, hoping desperately that Loki might believe him. 

"And once you found I was difficult to reach, you simply moved on to the next person you fancied, right? Like I never existed. How quickly you forgot the one you claimed to love." Loki countered, smirking bitterly to cover up the utter pain he was in. 

Tony closed the gap between them and reached out with both hands, grasping Loki's shoulders firmly and squaring himself up to look at the taller man, a seriousness in his dark eyes.

"Goddamn it Loki, listen to me! I cried my heart out when I came home and you weren't here. I missed you for every second we weren't together. Why do you think I tried so hard to get out of there? Why do you think I didn't just lay down and die? Because I wanted to come home to you! This thing with Pepper and I? It just sort of happened. She was there for me when I couldn't find you and I was weak, okay? I missed you so much it was killing me and I needed to get back on my feet. Finding myself with someone who cared about me seemed like a natural way to help me get over you." Tony replied, a bit of defeat in his voice. "It's not what you think. It's nothing like what we had. I don't love her like I love you."

As the two men stared at each other in a sort of emotional standoff, they had each forgotten the presence of the very woman they were talking about. Pepper had retracted back around the corner of the nearest wall, closing her eyes as Tony dismissed whatever bond they had formed in Loki's absence like it was nothing. Even as Pepper's heart was breaking, she held herself together, unwilling to interrupt the reunion taking place just feet away. Anything she had to say to Tony could wait... there was too much emotion in the air already and even if it was one-sided, Pepper loved Tony enough not to add to it.

Loki was the first to break eye-contact, lowering his gaze and closing his eyes for a moment. His limbs were like lead weights, unable to move. He didn't know what to think anymore. His family wasn't really as it seemed and now, the man he loved more than anything was alive despite all odds and he had found someone else to share his bed. 

"Loki, _please_. Talk to me." Tony pleaded, nearly on the verge of very uncharacteristic tears himself. 

Loki smiled a small, sad smile as he kept his head bowed. He could feel Tony's warmth, smell that same damnable cologne that took him right back to those nights spent together. As much as Loki wanted to be with Tony, to forgive him for however he had slighted him, he knew there were bigger things at work. This was truly a sign from the stars. Loki was many things in life. He was a silver-tongued manipulator of words, a mischief maker, a warrior and a prince of the realms but there was one thing that he knew he could never be. Loki knew he could never be truly happy. The gods simply wouldn't allow it.

Raising his head, he looked into those dark eyes and held that gaze for a moment, wanting to remember that color for as long as he may live. Even if he could bear it, Loki knew that Tony would never want him the way that he now knew he truly was. His heart ached for the man who was so close to him, the man he'd let into his heart but he knew what had to be done.

"It's better this way. We're too different, you and I." Loki said softly, feigning a smile to keep from breaking into pieces. 

Stepping back and pulling away from Tony's grasping hands, Loki averted his eyes. 

"Farewell, Tony Stark." Loki added, his eyes on the ground.

Loki flicked his wrist, surrounding himself briefly in a sort of green and gold colored glow. Not a moment later, Tony could only watch as the man he loved quite literally disappeared from his life for the second time.

Miles away, the pain of the encounter with Tony had given Loki the believability he needed to convince Thor that Odin had passed on to Valhalla. Thor had bought the story hook, line and sinker and Loki knew all that was left was to claim his throne. If he could not be happy, he would be sure that neither could Thor... for misery loved company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me! Two chapters in one day! Writing this chapter gave me a bit of a sad. To be honest, I wanted to let Loki run into Tony's arms and have everything be right again... but that would have been too easy and nothing worth fighting for is ever easy.
> 
> Thanks as always for the love and thank you for reading :)
> 
> Song inspiration: "Apologize" - OneRepublic


	11. Drunk Enough

Since the night Loki had shown up at Tony's Malibu home unexpectedly Pepper hadn't seen much of her estranged boss - boyfriend? boss. It didn't seem right to think of him as her "boyfriend" anymore, considering all that had been said. Heavier than the weight of Tony's overheard words was what had gone unspoken. Tony hadn't so much as tried to talk with Pepper about what had happened and what had been said, all but avoiding her completely in spite of the fact that she had essentially moved herself in at his prompting a month or so ago.

Tony had basically locked himself in his workshop after Loki had disappeared and on the few dozen occasions that Pepper had gone down there to try and pull the hermit from his hidey hole she found Tony sat in front of one of his screens, watching the video of Loki's disappearing act over... and over... and over between pulls from his poison du jour. 

So it was to Pepper's great surprise when, 9 days later, Tony emerged from his workshop, stumbling and clearly drunk out of his mind. With a thick sigh, Pepper shook her head and continued what she had been doing which was folding her clothes neatly into one of a few open suitcases. 

Tony wobbled on his feet, leaning against the nearest wall for stability as he watched Pepper with a genuinely confused look on his face. Furrowing his brow, he swallowed hard before parting his lips to speak.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked, his voice hoarse and throat raw from the burn of his vice.

Pepper didn't miss a beat, moving to the next set of clothing to be folded up and stowed away.

"Back home." Pepper answered simply, her voice surprisingly calm.

Taking a few unsteady steps forward, Tony's confusion only intensified.

"But this is your home." Tony countered, his head tracking what his eyes were glued to, Pepper's hands as they folded another shirt and put it into the suitcase.

Pepper smirked humorlessly and shook her head but kept her actions discreet. As she finished the stack of clothes she had been working on, she turned and looked at Tony with a guarded mask of neutrality on her face.

"No, it's not. This is your home, Tony. I don't belong here with you." Pepper replied, a polite but sad smile curving her lips ever so slightly.

Tony started to shake his head before his already compromised equilibrium gave him cause to stop. Taking a few more steps forward, he moved to sit on the corner of his bed, his gaze glued to Pepper's face.

"No. No, this is our home. I asked you to move in, remember?" Tony slurred, reaching for the nearest pair of rolled up socks to start removing the clothes from the suitcase.

Pepper reached out and grabbed the pair of socks from Tony before shoving them back into the suitcase and closing the lid, zipping it up tight. She gave Tony a stern look and felt her carefully constructed composure start to waver.

"Yes, I remember that day very well, Tony. I also remember having to talk you down from the ledge several times because you were still so heartbroken over Loki. Oh, and I also remember when you told Loki that this..." Pepper paused, gesturing between the two of them with one hand. "Wasn't the same as what you two had. That you didn't love me. I remember all of that _very_ well." 

Tony groaned and let his head fall forward, one hand coming up to rub at his forehead in a pinching sort of motion.

"Pepper, that's not - I... that's not what I meant. I-I...It came out wrong." Tony contested, raising his head to look at the pretty redhead.

Pepper stared at Tony for a moment before smirking and averting her gaze.

"I'd like to believe you Tony, I really would. I was willing to put aside the my feelings about how you constantly endanger your own life and try to make it work... but you know as well as I do that you were being nothing but honest when you were talking to Loki. You fell in love with him and I was just there to bandage the hole he left when he went away. Apparently I don't make a very good bandage." Sighing, she shook her head and pulled the suitcase off of the bed to stand it upright beside her. "Part of me knew that this - us - was too good to be true but I wanted to believe that maybe you really did care for me as much as you did for Loki. Obviously, I was wrong."

Tony watched with blurred vision as Pepper extended the handle on her suitcase and wheeled it toward the bedroom door. Tony felt his pulse start to thud hard in his chest as he realized that Pepper was really serious, this was really happening. He had lost Loki and now he was about to lose the only other person in the world who could put up with him for more than eight hours at a time, the only other person who truly loved him. After Loki had vanished in a puff of green and gold mystery, Tony was confused, hurt and absolutely terrified of being alone.

"Pepper, _please_." Tony started, his tone a bit - okay, a lot - more vulnerable than he would have liked. "Don't go. I need you." 

Pepper paused for a moment, looking down at the floor in thought before sighing heavily and raising her head to look at Tony once again. She knew in her heart that she couldn't give in to those big brown eyes and the sad plea in Tony's voice. Tony was blind drunk and reeling from the run-in with Loki and she was sure he would have said anything to keep someone around. Tony may have been an adult, but he most certainly needed supervision. His self-destructive tendencies could get out of hand and Pepper knew it was a risk to leave Tony like this but she had known him for a long time and she knew that Tony was nothing if not resilient. He would come out of this better and stronger than before... eventually. 

"What you need is to get yourself together and figure out what you want in this life." Pepper countered, only able to keep her gaze fixed on the sad shell of a man before her for a few moments.

Tony's lips parted, at a loss for what to say to that. Pepper was right, wasn't she? Of course she was. Pepper always seemed to know what was best for Tony even when he didn't know who he was or what he wanted.

"Also, I think it would be a good thing if we didn't speak to each other outside of work for a little while. I need some time to think about things. If there's an emergency at Stark Industries, I will still be available but please, don't contact me otherwise. It's for the best." Pepper added simply, offering Tony a bittersweet smile. 

Tony's lower lip trembled ever so slightly as Pepper turned her back to him once more and made her way out of the room without another word. Heart heavy and limbs useless, Tony simply watched her go and even through his inebriated haze he knew he was losing one of the most important people in his life. That made two for two, he thought bitterly, if anyone was keeping score.

When Tony heard the sound of the front door closing he lowered his head into his hands and closed his eyes, the sound heralding the onset of a familiar sort of anxiety. Since his escape from Afghanistan, he had suffered periodic panic attacks and this one was all the worse for having been brought on by his own stupidity. For the second time in less than a year Tony found himself scared, alone and with absolutely no idea what to do. 

\--- 

Below the lights of Tony's Malibu home, Loki stood on the beach, watching silently as the waves tumbled ashore. It wasn't so long ago that he had dreamed of being back here, with Tony, under these same stars where he had found it within him to trust and to love. It was a fool's dream, one that Loki knew better than to pursue. Now that the feelings of betrayal, confusion and anger had passed, he could not fault Tony for seeking the arms of another. After all, Loki hadn't bothered to check in, hadn't so much as asked Heimdall to look for Tony. Granted, he had thought that Tony had been killed but ultimately, Loki knew that he could have - and should have - done more. 

The cruel, stabbing burn in his heart had faded into more of a dull ache as he took the time to really reflect on the confrontation in Tony's home. It was just as well, Loki reasoned silently. Tony Stark belonged on Midgard with someone like Pepper. Loki knew that no matter how wonderful their time together had been, it would only end in pain eventually. His whole life he had been passed up in favor of Thor, his own talents overlooked or dismissed. Now, with the knowledge of his true parentage, he knew that he knew he never would be good enough. Not good enough for Asgard and not good enough for Tony.

Closing his eyes, the warm, humid air turned chilly and crisp, the prickle of seawater exchanged for the sting of frost. As Loki's projection faded away he took a deep breath of wintery air and opened his eyes. In the dark, cold void of Jotunheim, Loki had come here with a plan.

As he had done before Thor's coronation, Loki intended to invite Laufey into the halls of Asgard to slay Odin where he lie. At least, those were the terms that he would bait the creature with. When Laufey took to the All-Father's chambers, Loki meant to do away with him once and for all. It might have been childish, but killing his true father seemed as good a way as any to cut ties with the past he had never known he'd had and certainly didn't want. No one could question his Asgardian heritage if there was no one to question. 

With the same strike of Gungnir, Loki hoped to strengthen the only love left in his life. He would be a hero, if only for Frigga's eyes. He would prove that for once, he had done something to earn her love and pride. And so, it was with confidence in his step and treachery on his tongue that he sought out council with the King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys don't mind me speeding a bit through the events of Thor. Since this is a Frostiron fic, I didn't feel the need to elaborate on Jane and Thor's relationship or Thor's time in New Mexico. The next couple of chapters will bridge the gap between Thor and The Avengers before bringing us ultimately to the conclusion of this tale.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and thanks for the kudos and comments! I love to read what people think of my stories and I appreciate the time taken to leave a remark. 
> 
> Song inspiration: "Drunk Enough" - Angels Fall


	12. Meant to Die

For one brief, shining moment, Loki wondered just what in the realms had made him think that his plans would come to fruition without issue. Laufey had been slain but Thor had made a triumphant return to Asgard, having proven himself - as always - worthy after passing the trial Odin had cast him out into. Now, Loki was watching Thor with wide, unbelieving eyes as he smashed Mjolnir into the Bifrost again and again, seeking to destroy it and subvert the impending destruction of Jotunheim that Loki himself had set in place.

In a last ditch effort, Loki raised Gungnir and ran at Thor's back, aiming to stop Thor from completely ruining his plans but as soon as he got within piercing range, there was a great explosion as the Bifrost crumbled and fell away. 

It was Odin who held onto Thor and Thor who held onto Gungnir as Loki found himself dangling over the blackness of space between realms, beyond where the Bifrost had been. 

"I could have done it father! For you, for all of us!" Loki cried, looking to the man he had called 'father' for his entire life in one last ditch attempt at salvation.

"No, Loki." Odin said simply.

The gravity of those two simple words hit Loki like an arrow through the heart. Odin spoke the truth. No matter how hard he tried to prove himself worthy, step outside of the great shadow that Thor cast, he could never be Thor's equal. Odin had always and would always favor Thor and Loki, well, he was just a failure.

So Loki let go of Gungnir at the protest of Thor who was watching him with pain in his blue eyes. If he could never been seen as worthy, as important, why should he stay? He would sooner perish than be overlooked and scorned for the rest of his life.

Loki kept his eyes trained on Thor and Odin as he fell until he could see them no more and all around was blackness. No one had ever gone off the Bifrost like this, and he was sure that the decision would result in his death.

He was wrong. 

\---

The fall through the blackness seemed to stretch forever until it ended quite abruptly as Loki's back hit hard stone. Grimacing in pain, Loki sat up with some difficulty to look at his new, foreign surroundings. It appeared that he had landed in a realm he hadn't known existed. A dark, foreboding place like Jotunheim but without the cold and frost. Squinting in an effort to better see his surroundings, Loki got to his feet. 

There was a sound of whispers and scurrying in the distance, a foreign tongue that Loki could not understand. Taking tentative steps, Loki navigated his way through rocky crevasses in search of whatever form of life might reside in this destitute place. Loki hadn't made it but two minutes before he was surprised by the sudden appearance of a form before him. 

"What business have you here, Asgardian?" The being hissed.

Loki glanced to his sides quickly, sizing up the his circumstances. Where there had been nothing only moments before, Loki now found himself flanked by alien soldiers, weapons most certainly trained on him. Fixing his narrowed gaze on the cloaked figure before him once again, Loki straightened to his full height and did his best to summon his regal confidence. 

"I am Loki, Prince of Asgard and I find myself in your realm by accident, creature. Let me pass." Loki replied, unsure of where, exactly, he was going to pass through to but it was worth a shot.

A snakelike laugh grumbled from the figure before him and before Loki could blink, a hand shot out and grasped his throat in a crushing grip.

"I am called The Other, not _creature_." The being hissed. "You come to our realm and demand passage? You are not a friend to our realm, Prince of Asgard... and we owe you no such courtesy."

The being shoved Loki back by the throat and for the second time, Loki's back hit hard stone as he skidded to a stop ten feet from the cloaked figure. Quickly working to get himself up from the ground, he was on his knees and ready to stand before he was stopped by the same creature who had just thrown him back. Looking up, he wondered at the way the figure was cloaked, eyes hidden and only a nasty mouth full of sharp teeth visible on its face. Raising his hands in a placating gesture, he slowly stood upright once more.

"Asgardians... such pitiful beings.You think yourselves above all other realms when truly, you are fools who have appointed themselves to pass judgement on all other living creatures as if you, yourselves were truly Gods. Many a war has been caused by your people, Prince. Many lives have been lost. Someone must atone for the slights of Asgard. We have waited many years to return the favor." The Other hissed, a sinister smile curving its lips. "We were not expecting you but I shall happily inform Him of our good fortune."

Loki had been about to say something when his arms were grabbed from behind and drawn back into what he could only assume were heavy shackles. One of the alien beings from before planted a heavy foot in the center of Loki's back with considerable force, causing him to fall forward onto his knees once more with a gasp of pain. The Other looked down at Loki disdainfully, a snarl on its monstrous face.

"Take him away... and be sure his pain is not brief. We must relish this opportunity." The Other commanded, gesturing dismissively before he turned his back to Loki.

The two alien soldiers at Loki's sides grabbed him roughly and hauled him to his feet.

"Wait!" Loki protested, his mind whirling in confusion and searching in vain for some way to get himself out of this mess, a particularly difficult task when he wasn't even sure just what he was dealing with.

Loki's words faded in the silence as he was dragged over the coarse stone beneath him, thrashing in his newfound bondage as he struggled to get free. He did not know who these creatures were or what sort of things Odin or Bor had seen done in the realm but it was quite apparent that these beings meant to do him a great deal of bodily harm, royal heritage be damned.

Loki continue to struggle with all his might as he was dragged into what appeared to be some sort of holding cell but these captors were stronger than they looked. It wasn't until he was hit just so with the end of a weapon that everything went black.

\---

Some indeterminable moments later, Loki awakened to the sounds of his own screams. As his eyes opened wide they found damnable blackness but the sounds around him told him that he was not alone. Struggling through pounding pain to raise his head, he was bound to a table of sorts, arms stretched above him and legs spread apart and chained at the ankles. The black leather armor Loki had been wearing had been torn from him and his chest laid bare, his skin covered with bruises and cuts, dried blood mingling with fresh. Pain forced Loki's eyes closed once again as he felt the slide of a blade into his flesh.

That painful slice would not be the last. For what seemed like an eternity, the creature who stood in the darkness beat Loki, carved his flesh to create and widen wounds, seemingly trying to compete with his unusually quick healing capabilities. Any sort of struggle on Loki's part only seemed to encourage his torturer more. 

Loki had tried his seidr, tried to magic his way out of this situation but it was no use. There was some sort of ward on the shackles he was bound in and he couldn't muster much more than a crackle of energy inside of him. With a silent sort of resignation, Loki did what he could to keep conscious and endure the assault. It figured, didn't it? He wasn't even worthy of a simple death.

When Loki's eyes opened again the blade withdrew from his flesh once more. As his vision focused through the pain, an alien face came into view. It wasn't the same creature from before but a large, bulky beast with sickly cool grey flesh and an equally unpleasant disposition. Taking a few deep, shaky breaths, he tried to collect his wits. He was quite literally in no position to make a mistake.

"What good is this torture? What do you want from me?" Loki demanded, voice hoarse from the pain as he shifted and tested the materials that bound him to the table once more. 

Loki's question was met with the unintelligible rumble of an alien tongue and a sharp punch to the face which sent Loki's head snapping to the left. Loki knew that these creatures meant to kill him eventually, but he refused to give them the satisfaction of completely falling apart. Laughing, Loki spit out a bit of blood which stuck unceremoniously to his wounded chest as he closed his eyes.

"Hear me, creature." Loki started again, grimacing as that damned knife traced along his ribs before finding purchase between two bones. "My death is something I have already accepted. There is nothing to be gained by your little show of power. Asgard does not know of my whereabouts and I... I'm no longer welcome there." 

Loki drew in a deep breath through his nose as the blade between his ribs was twisted and it took every ounce of his willpower to remain still. In the darkness, he could hear the shuffling of robes.

"Is that so, Loki, Prince of Asgard?" The Other hissed mockingly, stepping forward with his hand clutched around something shiny. 

Raising his head just far enough to take a look at the cloaked being, he noticed the pendant Tony had given him dangling from one hand. Images of his time on Midgard flooded his mind, a different sort of pain wrenching at his heart. 

"It is. I've nothing left to lose." Loki confirmed, closing his eyes so that he wouldn't have to look upon that pendant anymore. "If I am meant to die, then by the realms, be quick with it."

The Other laughed, an unpleasant and humorless sound, and took a few steps closer to Loki. Reaching out, he stuck one clawed finger into the newest hole in Loki's side, rooting around in the wound and widening it, causing Loki to grit his teeth in agony. 

"This trinket you wore around your neck..." The Other started, holding the pendant before Loki's face with one hand, using the other to hold Loki's head in place to force him to look. "It is not Asgardian. Where did you get it?"

Loki opened his eyes begrudgingly and stared straight up at his captor indignantly.

"It is from Midgard." Loki answered with some difficulty, sparing a glance at the jewelry.

The Other seemed to consider Loki's answer with interest but it was difficult to tell with only a mouth visible.

"So you are able to move easily between realms? Maybe you're not as worthless as you claim to be." The Other responded, studying the dangling pendant for a moment. "There is something we have been searching for, something of great power that was snatched away from our grasp by your King. It is called the Tesseract. Have you seen such an item?" 

Loki furrowed his brow as he looked up at The Other with narrowed eyes. His mind quickly combed over the time he had spent on Midgard, looking for any recollection of something of the sort. Loki vaguely recalled seeing something about the Tesseract in one of the many files that Tony's father Howard had kept in their database. If he recalled correctly, it was nothing more than a luminous blue cube but it seemed as if The Other knew better. After all, if Odin or Bor had hidden it away, it must have been worth something... the vault in Asgard had always been filled with dangerous items that the righteous Asgardians had felt the need to steal, hold and protect. Choosing his words carefully, Loki parted his lips to speak.

"What if I have?" Loki asked, testing the situation with his gaze fixed on The Other.

The Other paused for a moment before answering with a smile.

"He may consider sparing your life if you can be of some use to us." The Other's smile grew darker and wider. "You see, I am a servant to another, a more infinitely powerful being. He has use for the Tesseract's abilities."

Doing his best to look nonchalant, Loki smirked. 

"I've told you that I have accepted my death. Why would I help another find power for no gain of my own?" Loki questioned, studying that vicious mouth that still smiled so coldly at him. 

The Other gave a rasp of a laugh and leaned in closer to Loki, close enough for him to smell putrid breath.

"Word of your deeds has spread to our realm through Him and I know what treachery you have committed. You crave your own power and here is my bargain, Prince of Asgard: You will travel to Midgard and locate the Tesseract and I will allow you to live. We will provide you with an army of our Chitauri to aid you. Our deal will be done once you have delivered the Tesseract to us." The Other offered.

Loki stared at The Other for a moment, his mind racing at the offer that had been put on the table. Through Stark Industries Loki was sure he could find this Tesseract and Midgard wasn't exactly known for its formidable presence throughout the realms. The humans were weak and could easily be defeated, especially if Loki had an army at his command. It wasn't as if he cared for any of them, anyway... at least, that was what he would tell himself.

"What of the humans of Midgard?" Loki asked, though he was only really asking about the fate of one.

The Other straightened up and watched Loki with interest, the necklace still dangling from his hand. 

"Yours to rule as you see fit. Of course, if you do not like the terms of this bargain I can make you a promise of pain beyond your imagination. All of this..." The Other explained, gesturing to Loki's bloodied form. "...is just a warm up."

The choice set out before him was simple: work with these creatures and be left with his own planet to rule over as he had always been meant to, as a King, or die. If Odin would not make good on the promises made in his youth, he could take matters into his own hands. The more Loki thought about it, the more appealing this arrangement was starting to sound.

It took only a few minutes for Loki to return his gaze to The Other and with a nod of his head, he agreed.

"You have a deal." Loki restated, watching as the moldavite pendant swung lazily like a pendulum over his throat.

Smiling once more, The Other dropped the pendant onto Loki's chest before gesturing to the Chitauri soldier behind Loki to release his prisoner.

"Do not fail us." The Other warned before turning and striding into the darkness.

\---

Loki rubbed at raw wrists as he sat hunched forward on a slab of rock. He had been given his armor and had dressed himself though he cursed at the way the fabric rubbed against the wounds on his body. Closing his eyes, he sought to gather himself, gather the magic he knew he needed to find out more about the Tesseract. It would be easy enough to project himself to Midgard, keep from being seen. 

There had been a curious gathering of people in New Mexico where Thor had been detained that called themselves S.H.I.E.L.D. Loki would start there... it was as good a place as any. 

\---

It wasn't long before Loki had found what he was looking for, in the hands of the very organization he had sought out first. The Tesseract had indeed been found and it appeared that the humans had plans to weaponize it. He couldn't help but be a bit surprised how easy it had been to find what he had been looking for. His luck gave Loki hope that this mission could be carried out to completion, victory finally within his grasp. The Other had taken the information and set off to prepare to set their plan in motion.

With a smile on his face, Loki stood from his seat and adjusted his clothes, pushing a hand through his dark hair to smooth the strands back. Loki's other hand rested around the width of a scepter he'd been given by The Other which contained a little blue chunk of luminous blue between two sharpened prongs at the end. When he'd been given the weapon he had been told that it was not only a weapon of the flesh but one of the mind and he was already creating plans for its use. 

Loki couldn't help but feel the pulse of excitement within him as he prepared for his transport back to Midgard. What Loki had thought was to be a painful end to his miserable existence had instead turned out to be a wonderful opportunity. He would show Odin and Tony and every last person who had ever doubted him or given up on him that they were wrong. He was Loki of Asgard and by the realms, he was _worth something_ and he would prove it to all of them now, as all the realms watched.

\---

Some distance away, The Other approached his Master with glad tidings and a smile on his loathsome lips.

"The Tesseract has awakened. It is on a little world, a human world. They would wield its power, but our ally knows its workings as they never will. He is ready to lead, and our force, our Chitauri, will follow. A world will be his, the universe yours. And the humans, what can they do but burn?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading!! I hope you're enjoying the story so far. :)
> 
> Song inspiration: "Meant to Die" - The Used


	13. Coming Undone

Tony was in New York, enjoying a nice glass of whiskey on the rocks when Agent Coulson paid him a surprise visit inside Stark Tower. That was half an hour ago. Everything that had come out of the man's mouth so far had seemed like utter nonsense, something about a homicidal alien invader and a S.H.I.E.L.D. base in the desert being destroyed. Pinching the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, he closed his eyes for a moment before downing the remainder of his drink.

"Let me get this straight. First of all, I told Fury I didn't want to join your little band of merry heroes and I thought your secret agent had determined I was... what was it? Oh, right. Volatile, self-obsessed and that I don't play well with others. Now, here you are..." Tony paused, gesturing to Agent Coulson as he set down his empty glass and picked up the file that had been brought to him. "...telling me you've changed your minds and now all of a sudden, when the shit hits the fan, you need Iron Man?"

Agent Coulson smiled as he always did and bowed his head briefly, his hands clasped at his front.

"This isn't about personality profiles anymore. Despite what may have been communicated at an earlier time, we do need your help, Mr. Stark. Iron Man is just the kind of hero that we need to combat this unknown threat." Agent Coulson explained, his voice soft.

Looking up from the file he'd opened up on a screen before him, Tony arched one brow skeptically.

"You guys do understand that Tony Stark and Iron Man are the same thing, right? I mean... you can't have the suit without the narcissist. It doesn't work like that." Tony said, perhaps a bit more bitterly than he'd intended.

Agent Coulson smiled and nodded his head, taking a breath as he tilted his head to look around the interior of the suite he was standing in.

"We understand that, Mr. Stark. This is an exceptional situation and we need an exceptional talent... regardless of what character flaws he may have." 

Tony stared at the agent for a moment, trying to decide whether or not that was truly an insult... it was hard to tell with that serene smile on the guy's face. Looking back down at the file, he flipped through the bios of the other members of the "Avengers Initiative" and watched the included video feed with interest. It wasn't until his eyes caught sight of a bright blue cube Tony realized what they were dealing with. He had read his father's files on the cube and what it was capable of. If the enemy was after this force...

"I've seen this before." Tony murmured, pulling the image of the cube out from the file feed and twisting it around in holographic 3D space.

Agent Coulson stepped down toward Tony and nodded his head, his eyes on Tony.

"Your father was there when they first found it at the bottom of the ocean. I understand he's done research on the power of this particular item. The Iron Man suit, with all its capabilities are a bonus, sure... but you have understanding and the intelligence to help us really crack this case. We need to know why the guy wants it so badly and what it's capable of." Agent Coulson elaborated, watching Tony as he scrutinized the image. "The world needs you. We need you. Will you join us?" 

Tony sent the images of the file away with a wave of his hand and turned to look at the agent next to him. 

"Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse?" Tony answered, offering a smile.

\---

Loki sat at the end of the main workroom where he had set up operations with his newly acquired team of specialists, looking on as bodies moved this way and that, setting up the preparations for the main event that was yet to happen. The war that was to take place with the army that he was promised.

The Other had been trying to contact him since he had gotten to Earth... he could feel it as if the creature was in his very mind. Glancing at the scepter in his hand, he studied the bright blue stone and wondered if it had a more far-reaching effect, one that The Other might not have been so forthcoming about. He had certainly felt different since the scepter had been put in his hand...

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and straightened up as he felt the pull of The Other's consciousness, another attempt to reach him. As he focused, the gem in his scepter glowed bright and he was transported away, back to that forsaken rock he had managed to escape from.

"The Chitauri grow restless" The Other started, approaching Loki as his visage solidified.

Loki smirked dismissively at the impatience of this race, full battle armor shimmering into view.

"Let them gird themselves. I will lead them into glorious battle." Loki replied nonchalantly.

"Battle? Against the meager might of Earth?" The Other mocked, a sneer on ugly lips.

"Glorious. Not lengthy." Loki clarified, turning to look at The Other before adding a little jab of his own. "If your force is as formidable as you claim." 

The Other seemed to be affronted, the feeling in the air between them made more tense by Loki's words. 

"You question us? Question _Him_? He, who put the scepter in your hand. Who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose when you were cast out, defeated." The Other asked incredulously.

"I was a King! The rightful King of Asgard. Betrayed." Loki corrected, his tone indignant and matter-of-fact. 

"Your ambition is little and full of childish need. We look beyond the Earth to the greater worlds the Tesseract will unveil."

"You don't have the Tesseract yet." Loki countered, testing the creature with his words. 

The Other drew up and hissed, reaching one alien hand out toward Loki in threat. Loki glanced at hand before looking straight at the vile being.

"I don't threaten. But until I open the doors, until your force is mine to command, you are but words." Loki said simply, trying to retain the upper hand that he had over The Other and the Chitauri.

Loki could almost hear The Other laugh, a sound that set his nerves alight. Even with a bargain struck and a plan in motion, was he still underestimated? The Other came close now, the pungent stink of his words hitting Loki with every hissed syllable. 

"You will have your war, Asgardian. If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us... there will be no realm, no barren moon..." The Other rounded Loki, leaned in close as he spoke with a deadly seriousness. 

Despite his best efforts to remain stoic, brave, Loki felt genuine fear well up inside of him, bringing the glaze of tears to his eyes. He couldn't help but remember the pain that had been dealt to him when he had first been cursed with the luck of landing in the realm. Loki got the impression that the being that The Other served was nothing to be scoffed at and he felt the honest threat in every one of those syllables.

"...no _crevasse_ we can't find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something sweet as pain." The Other continued, shoving Loki's head as he finished.

Loki's head jerked to the side and the laboratory came back into view as he opened his eyes. He couldn't shake the foreboding feeling that he may have bitten off more than he could chew but he couldn't, wouldn't stop now. The agent that he had taken command of at S.H.I.E.L.D had been working with the scientist from New Mexico to find the next ingredient for their recipe and Loki knew it was only a matter of time before the portal would be ready for the Chitauri and the world would be his. 

\---

Tony stared blankly at the wall behind Agent Coulson, uncharacteristically silent as he took in the information. So, the alien had a name. Cocking his head to the side, Agent Coulson waved a hand before Tony's eyes.

"Mr. Stark? Are you alright?" He called, wondering at the strange reaction Tony had made upon hearing the details of their mission.

Tony's eyes focused on the hand in front of his face and his gaze slowly travelled up to meet Agent Coulson's face, dragging like it was caught on his whirling thoughts.

"I-I'm sorry... did you say his name is _Loki_?" Tony repeated, furrowing his brow.

Agent Coulson nodded, silently scrutinizing the way Tony was acting.

"Yes. He says he's from some place called Asgard. All we know is that he teleported into the base in New Mexico, claimed he had some sort of 'glorious purpose' and that he was going to liberate us all and destroyed the place before he vanished. He took Agent Barton and several others with him." Agent Coulson elaborated, lowering his hand to let it rest in his lap once again.

Tony frowned and went for the file once again, hastily pulling the images and video feeds out and spreading them around until he found the surveillance stills he had skipped over earlier. He felt the blood rush out of him when he saw the face in those stills. Not that he had thought two sets of parents were strange enough to name their child "Loki", but now there was no doubt in his mind as to just who they were dealing with. 

"Mr. Stark, is something wrong? You look a little...off." Agent Coulson started, following Tony's line of sight to the stills that the billionaire was still staring at. "Have you seen Loki before?"

Sending the file away again with a rushed gesture, he shook his head. Taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, Tony ran one set of fingers through his hair. Now was not the time to completely fall apart, nor was it the time to share his association with Loki with anyone, let alone Agent Coulson. Tony knew he had to put on the mask, the one he wore to all the expos and press conferences. The mask of someone who had their shit together and weren't screaming inside at the possibility of having to take down someone that, in spite of everything, they still loved.

"I'm fine. I think it was the Chinese I had earlier. Had some dodgy experiences with that place... think I'd better find a new source of sesame chicken." Tony lied, offering Agent Coulson a smile. "JARVIS, make a note never to order from Great Wall again." He added, for effect.

"As you wish, Sir." JARVIS answered helpfully.

Clapping his hands once, Tony flashed a winning smile at Agent Coulson as he stood up from his chair and gestured toward the door.

"If you don't mind, I have a thing or two to catch up on real quick. Send me the coordinates of where you need me and I'll be there with the suit." Tony said, the smile still on his lips. 

Agent Coulson nodded politely and stood from the seat before turning and making his way back toward the elevator.

"We'll be in touch. The frequency info I gave you is encrypted for this team only. Directive and coordinates will be given that way. We'll see you soon." Agent Coulson replied, smiling that strange placid smile of his as he showed himself out.

Tony waited until the man in the suit was gone before dropping back into his chair and tilting his head back as far as it would go. Staring at the ceiling, his heart hammered in his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut, Tony was almost positive he was going to have a panic attack. Being the hero? Not a problem. Violently taking down an enemy? Old hat. Addressing a threat to Earth from your former lover? Not so good. Tony focused on his breathing, trying to calm himself down as he felt the anxiety swirl up and course through him like electricity. 

"God damn it, Loki, don't do this to me." Tony cursed, his words shaky as he fought the internal tremble that threatened to incapacitate him. 

\---

In Stuttgart, Germany, Loki smiled as the crowd screamed and ran from him, feeling a rush of power as he held Dr. Heinrich Shafer down. Using the device they'd created to get the 3D scan of his retina, he got the team the access to the iridium that they needed to finish the portal. 

When the scan was complete, Loki straightened up, his Midgardian clothes shimmering briefly in golden energy, revealing the gold-accented leather battle armor he wore. The horns of his helmet curved high and shone proudly as he walked through the gala and out the front doors, following the path of the panicked crowd. 

Turning toward an oncoming car full of lawmen, Loki raised his scepter and shot a blast of blue energy at the vehicle. The car flipped forward on impact and skidded to a halt on its roof, completely incapacitated by the blow. As Loki's eyes scanned the mass of people in the streets, he swelled with pride. This was it. This was his moment.

Conjuring several projections of his own image, Loki surrounded the crowd and took his place before the masses who wore fear on their faces. 

"Kneel before me!" Loki commanded, pausing a moment to wait for compliance. 

When the crowd made no motion to follow the command, he hit the hilt of the staff hard on the ground, irritation rising within him. Could these people not see that he was formidable, that his commands should be obeyed?

"I said... _Kneel_!" Loki commanded a second time, a smile breaking out on his face as he watched the humans before him take to their knees one by one.

Loki wore a full-blown grin by the time the entire crowd had knelt down, pleased with their compliance. He felt like a King surrounded by his loyal subjects, a man of honor and distinction, a man who was feared and admired. As befitting a King, he broke into an eloquent speech, romancing the crowd with words about freedom and subjugation. 

It was all going so wonderfully, like a dream come true, until a man in red white and blue dropped in from the sky. Loki had done his homework on his adversaries and thanks to Agent Barton, he had more of an insight than he might have otherwise. He recognized Captain America in all his star-spangled, outdated glory. If the Captain wanted a fight, he would give him a fight, show off his prowess to the crowd of onlookers. Loki knew that this was nothing more than that... winning this fight was never the intention.

Mere moments after the Captain had arrived, his S.H.I.E.L.D. buddies followed suit, flying in on a black vessel that hovered ominously with guns pointed. A woman Loki assumed to be the Black Widow ordered him to drop his weapon over the loud speaker but he would do no such thing. The people - _his_ people - needed to see that he would stand his ground, that he was a worthy adversary. 

Everything was going precisely as planned until the obnoxious sound of what the humans called "rock music" blared from the speakers on the aircraft. Loki had no idea what the song was called or who the musicians were but he knew exactly where he had heard that voice before. 

Suddenly, Loki felt a panic rise up inside of him, sending his heart into his throat. He was unsure of why he was hearing that music again now, after so many months. He'd studied up on this group of "heroes" of Midgard, the Widow, the Captain, the Archer and the Beast but he hadn't the foggiest idea why, of all people, Tony Stark would be here. Sure, he was a genius and maybe he had contracted with the group with engineering but... why the grand entrance? 

Not moments later, what appeared to be a man in a metal suit swooped from the sky, blasting Loki in the chest with some sort of energy weapon. As Loki's back hit the ground, the man dropped down next to the Captain, weapons at the ready and all trained on him. Sitting up, Loki stared wide-eyed at his new opponent. He'd never seen anything like that suit in Tony's workshop and for once, his sharp mind was utterly baffled.

"Make your move, Reindeer Games." 

Yep, it was definitely Tony. 

Raising his hands in surrender, Loki looked up at the two before him though his eyes were mostly trained on Tony - or rather, the shell around him - as he tried to reassess the situation. He had planned on surrender, but he hadn't planned on the company.

"Good move." Tony added, the guns and lasers and missiles and who knows what else hiding themselves away beneath the shiny red metal.

Tony's heart was beating about a thousand beats per minute and he hoped to god he didn't look as anxious as he felt. It was now, standing before a defeated Loki, that he was thankful for the skeletal support of the suit because no one could see him trembling. He couldn't take his eyes off of the man on the ground in front of him... on the outside, Loki looked just the same as he ever had. Maybe his hair was a bit longer and had he always been that pale? Okay, he looked mostly the same on the outside but there was a look in those beautiful eyes, something wild that hadn't been there before. 

Tony felt about as useful as a doorstop in the middle of a hallway as he watched Captain America put shackles around Loki's wrists, offering muttered offers of half-assed assistance that Steve thankfully brushed off. He could hear the plane behind them land, ready to receive the prisoner for transport but he couldn't take his eyes off of Loki. 

It all made sense, Tony supposed, that Loki was from another world entirely. He had never met anyone like Loki before and he had certainly never met anyone quite like him after he'd gone. That, and the whole disappearing act at the mansion but in his sadness, Tony had forgotten all about that until now. 

Snapped out of his reverie, Tony followed Steve and Loki toward the open and waiting cargo bay door of the jet, watching silently as Loki was positioned on one of the benches on either side of the plane. As the door closed Natasha made guided the plane back into the skies and Tony took up residence near the cockpit, standing upright next to the Captain. Tony removed the Iron Man helmet and set it aside, taking a deep breath of unrestricted air. As afraid as he was of his wandering gaze becoming obvious, he was even more concerned about passing out from a stress induced sweat.

Tony made small-talk with the Captain, someone whose sense of humor - or lack thereof - he found didn't particularly enjoy as they made their way through the skies and back toward the hellicarrier. Tony was sure that Steve didn't enjoy him either if the disdainful looks were anything to go by. Not that it mattered, Tony thought, because the Cap was only in this because of his sense of duty and he was only here because of Loki. He could have helped Fury and his team find the Tesseract without leaving the comfort of his home but for some reason, he insisted on seeing Loki again, for better or worse.

Loki was utterly silent. There was something strange about the way that he had just given up like that and the Captain shared Tony's sentiment. Between Steve's righteous attitude and Loki's silence, Tony knew this was going to be a very, very long trip.

Not long into their flight, however, there was a crack of thunder and lightning split the skies above the plane. Natasha muttered something to herself as she looked at the storm-darkened clouds before them. Steve turned to look at Loki, who was looking up at the ceiling of the plane like it was the first time he'd ever seen such a thing.

"What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?" Steve asked, his expression unimpressed. 

"I'm not overly fond of what follows." Loki answered honestly, eyes on the ceiling of the vehicle. 

Moments later, there was a thunk on the top of the plane and Loki watched, knowing full-well what that was. He hadn't expected Thor to be looking for him and certainly hadn't expected him to show up now. Loki and Natasha watched as Tony put the metal helmet back on and opened the hatch at the end of the plane, moving toward the opening. 

"What are you doing?" Steve asked, as confused as anyone. 

Tony didn't get a chance to answer. Through the opened door, Thor's figured appeared and Tony raised his hand, ready to give the intruder a blast but he wasn't fast enough. Loki, Steve and Natasha all looked on as Thor hit Tony in the chest with Mjolnir, sending Tony flying back up toward the cockpit. 

In the blink of an eye, a stony-faced Thor grabbed Loki by his collar and hoisted him up to his feet. Swinging Mjolnir, Thor and Loki took a dive right out of the plane and out of sight.

\---

Loki had expected Thor to try and talk him out of his plans, expected a guilt trip and mention of family. It was all so dreadfully predictable. What he had not expected was for Tony to fight for him but he was glad for it, even if it meant only that Tony was fighting to keep him in custody. 

As Thor and Tony fought down below, Loki reclined and watched, amusement twinkling in his eyes. He had no intention of going away, getting out of custody. His plan relied on being caught by the good guys of Midgard. He would wait here until the fight was done and then he would happily board the plane back to wherever it was they were taking him.

Plans aside, Loki had to admit that he was quite taken with the strength and agility on display below. It made him long for days past when he and Tony would have spent that energy in other, far more entertaining ways. Maybe he could convince the billionaire to join him... wouldn't that be delightful? Turn the whole team against each other and turn one traitor in the process.

As Loki's daydream came to an end, he looked down at the forest and spotted good ol' Captain America who had come to join the fray. Thor was just stupid enough to think he could solve everything with his hammer and the fight came to a quick end when Mjolnir struck that shiny round shield, sending a shockwave through the forrest and leveling the trees around them. Loki laughed and clapped his hands a bit though he was sure that none of them heard it. 

Rolling onto his back, Loki lay there on the cold stone, staring into dark skies with a smile on his face. So far, everything was going pretty well and according to plan, for the most part. It was looking more and more like he would pull this off, rise to power and save himself from what otherwise seemed to be a dismal fate at the hands of whomever it was The Other served. Raising his arms, Loki crossed them over his chest and waited. It would only be a short while until the heroes below got to their senses and came to fetch their ward. The show would go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think. The next chapter won't so much follow the scenes on the hellicarrier... I'm going to take some liberties with making up the scenes we didn't see. 
> 
> Song inspiration: "Coming Undone" - Korn


	14. Cracks

Thor paced back and forth before the table of Avengers aboard the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, Mjolnir hanging from his hand. The team had done their best to bring Thor up to speed on what had been happening and why they had detained his brother but Thor was having a difficult time accepting the explanation. Loki, his _brother_ Loki was a trickster, sure... but a murderer?

"I cannot understand what would drive Loki to such madness." Thor muttered to himself, shaking his head as he continued to wear a ditch in the expensive floor beneath his feet. "He has always been a little... different... but..."

Bruce Banner laughed and rubbed at his temple as Thor spoke.

"Different? You can smell crazy on him. That guy's mind is like a bag of cats." Bruce chimed, gaining a nod of agreement from Natasha at his left.

Thor's instant reaction was to hold Mjolnir out, pointed at Bruce. The stormy look in his blue eyes and tight frown told everyone he was not amused with that assessment.

"Loki is my brother and a Prince of Asgard. Have care to speak with respect." Thor grumbled, staring Bruce down. "Loki may have made mistakes but name one among us who has not. I cannot accept that he has done what you say of his own will alone." 

Steve shook his head as he leaned against the wall, watching the group. 

"Oh, Loki's definitely been up to no good. If you don't believe it, we've got the tape to back up our claims." Steve said with a solemn expression.

"I'm with Thor. This is not like the Loki that I knew..." Tony added, absently, the last word of his sentence muttered so softly it was difficult to make out. 

Everyone stopped and turned to look at Tony who, under their collective scrutiny, smiled nervously.

"What do you mean 'not the Loki you knew'?" Natasha prompted, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. 

Tony ran fingers through his hair and laughed an anxious laugh, his gaze darting around at his companions.

"Did I say something out loud? Oh, never mind me. I haven't been sleeping well lately and --" Tony started to explain, interrupted by Thor's hands planted firmly - and loudly - on the table in front of him.

For a moment, Tony and Thor stared at each other before Tony buckled under the weight of Thor's gaze and averted his eyes, fingers fidgeting on the table before him.

"So it was you." Thor said, studying Tony for a moment before continuing. "I knew of Loki's time on Midgard with your people and Mother told me of a man that Loki had been involved with..." 

Tony thought it was almost funny how everyone's jaw simultaneously dropped. Like a cartoon except with more terrible, very real repercussions. 

"Wait a minute." Natasha blurted, waving a hand around and shaking her head. " _Involved with_? What do you mean _involved_?" 

Thor smiled a merry smile as he righted himself and gestured with one hand. Bruce simply stared at Tony and Tony sank down in his chair, blood draining from his face, hoping that the hull of the helicarrier would give way and he might fall to his untimely death. Thor was a master of timing, it seemed. 

"Loki came to find love on Midgard. My Mother had told me it was with a human man of great esteem. Loki would not give me much information but now it seems I have had the honor of meeting him." Thor replied, completely oblivious to the potential ramifications of his words.

"Oh, for the love of Pete!" Steve exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "Are you joking? Tony, why didn't you say anything?" 

Tony looked up as Steve rounded the table and stood next to Thor, two giant blonde bookends with their eyes set on him. He could feel Natasha and Bruce's eyes still drilling holes into the side of his face. Rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair, Tony heaved a great sigh.

"Why didn't I say anything? Probably because it's none of your damn business who I choose to have a relationship with, Mr. Rogers." Tony answered, staring up at the Cap with a false smile curving his lips.

Steve laughed and shook his head before pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"Oh, right. Because you don't have a reputation for bedding everyone and anyone already. It's not like your personal life isn't plastered on every newspaper in the city. I'm sorry, I guess we should have respected your _privacy_ , Mr. Stark." Steve countered, his gaze decidedly less friendly as it leveled on Tony once more. "Shoot, I'm shocked that you haven't slept with everyone at this table!"

Thor perked up at the accusation slung by Steve and furrowed his brow as he looked at Tony.

"Have you bedded my brother, Man of Iron?" Thor asked, in that overbearing older brother sort of way.

Raising her hands, Natasha tried to shush the Asgardian. 

"Thor, I think this might be a conversation for you to have with Tony some other time..." Natasha started, offering Thor a smile. 

Pushing away from the table, Tony stared daggers up at Steve as he stood, ignoring the confusion that washed over Thor's face and Bruce's gentle hand on his arm.

"Public figure or not, I'm still a human being and I'm entitled to my own private life if I choose to have one." Tony replied, starting to feel the tremors of anxiety roll through him as he kept up the staring contest.

Steve barked a laugh and furrowed his brow, looking at Tony incredulously.

"Not when your private life concerns the safety of this country and her people." Steve shot back, glancing away from Tony only briefly as Natasha rounded the table and grasped him by the elbow.

Tony fumed, ignoring Bruce's murmured attempts to calm him down and he pointed one finger at Steve, aggravation burning in his dark eyes. 

"Yeah, well it didn't involve the country or security or anything like that when it happened. Loki and I met on completely different terms and to the best of my knowledge, he had no plans to take over the whole goddamn world. At least, that wasn't something he discussed with me over takeout. I had no fucking idea this would happen, Steve. I didn't know Loki was from Asgard or wherever and compromising the fate of this country was the last thing on my mind." Tony rattled, his hands shaking ever so slightly. 

"This quest for vengeance is new indeed. Loki has always been a trickster but never have I seen him so bent on true destruction until recently." Thor added helpfully, looking between the two men.

Tugging on Steve's arm, Natasha looked up at him with a placating expression on her face.

"C'mon Steve. This isn't Tony's fault. Leave it alone." Natasha suggested as she shot a small smile at Tony.

Yanking his arm away from Natasha, he shook his head before turning to stare down Tony once again.

"No, I won't leave it alone. Tony knew this guy, had information we might have been able to use and he didn't share it with us. Leave it to Tony Stark to think with his pants and disregard the fact that he is a part of a team." Steve pressed, gesturing dramatically at Tony.

Tony started to hear a buzzing in his ears, the kind that he heard after that missile had exploded next to him, rendering him deaf. He could see Natasha grumbling at Steve and Thor staring at the lot of them with confusion on his face. He could see their mouths moving but he couldn't hear a thing above the buzzing and the hammering of his heart in his chest. Tony knew he needed to get out of there, needed to take a breather before he could attempt to navigate this minefield of personal information but it didn't look like Steve was going to give him that chance. 

"C'mon, Natasha!" Steve groaned, tossing his hands up. "We're supposed to just shut up and trust Tony now? Just because this guy was one of Tony's flings doesn't give him the right to ---" 

Steve's righteous words of indignation were cut short by Tony's fist coming in solid contact with the table they had been sitting around.

" _I loved him_!" Tony shouted, breaking the chatter around him and causing everyone to fall immediately silent. "That's right, I was in _love_ with Loki. We had it great up until I went to Afghanistan and came back to find he'd given up on me. Being without him broke my fucking heart and I thought I'd never see him again. I was so depressed and heartbroken that the "Avengers Initiative" was the least of my concerns. When we encountered Loki in Stuttgart, I didn't think about the team. I didn't think about what _information_ I could have given you. All I could think of was seeing his face for the first time in a long time. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Tony could feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes but he ignored them, hoping they wouldn't fall. Taking a shaky breath, he glanced around at the four of them, all of whom stood in stunned silence.

"If anyone has any more questions, please direct them toward the nearest wall because it wants to hear them just about as much as I do." Tony added before turning on heel and storming out of the room. 

The silence left in Tony's wake hung in the air heavily and it was several moments before anyone even looked at each other. Moving to clean his glasses with the tail of his buttoned shirt, Bruce sighed and stood up from the table. 

"I'll go talk to him." Bruce announced, turning to leave the same way that Tony had.

\---

Bruce walked through the helicarrier toward the cabin that had been assigned to Tony Stark, a cup of coffee in his hand. Rapping on the door with his knuckles, he waited, shifting awkwardly on his feet in the short time before the door cracked open and one of Tony's eyes appeared in the gap.

"Brought you some coffee." Bruce announced, raising the mug with a lazy smile.

Tony snorted and shook his head, opening the door further to let his new friend in.

"There better be whiskey in it, Dr. Banner." Tony replied, his tone flatter than the smile on his lips would suggest.

Shutting the door behind him, Bruce moved to sit in one of the chairs that accompanied the small table at the side of the cabin. He set the coffee down on the tabletop before looking up at Tony.

"You okay?" Bruce asked softly, a genuine concern in his eyes for his friend.

Tony ran one set of fingers through his short, dark hair and huffed a rather dramatic sounding sigh before dropping down on the edge of his remarkably uncomfortable bed. Bruce watched Tony quietly, not wanting to press the issue though he wanted to help. Looking up, Tony held Bruce's gaze for a moment before smirking. 

"You're watching me like I might have a mental breakdown or something." Tony observed, eyeing Bruce before getting up from his seat to join his company by the table.

"Sorry." Bruce apologized with a smile, averting his gaze for just a moment. "I'm just worried about you. That was some exit back there." 

Tony smirked humorlessly and reached for the coffee, taking a deep chug of hot, black liquid. Dropping down into the seat across from Bruce, he set the coffee aside and dropped his face into his hands. 

"I'm not judging you, y'know." Bruce started, his voice soft. "For whatever happened between you and Loki. It's none of my business... none of anyone's business but yours. It's pretty clear that you were telling the truth about loving the guy. I'm sure this whole thing is doing your head in." 

Tony rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms, silent for a moment as he listened to Bruce. He wondered why he hadn't made it a point to introduce himself to Dr. Banner sooner... he'd read about his work and now that he'd had a chance to talk with him, the guy was a better friend than Tony had had in a while.

"Pass that memo about not judging me to Captain Spangles and friends, would ya? This is a real mind fuck." Tony agreed, his words slightly muffled by his hands. "Everyone's jumping on me like a pack of hyenas and I'm still trying to deal with the fact that he's here, on this floating piece of S.H.I.E.L.D crap, charged with murder. It doesn't make any sense... this isn't like him. I'm torn between wanting to kiss him 'til I can't breathe and punching his lights out for what he's done." 

Bruce laughed and leaned across the small table to pat Tony on the shoulder before relaxing back into his own chair.

"Have you gone to see him?" Bruce asked, his words careful.

Dropping his hands to the tabletop, Tony stared at them for a moment before smirking and shaking his head.

"What good would it do? What would I say? Oh, hi honey! Long time no see! Heard you killed some people. I'm gonna need you to write a letter saying you're real sorry so I can take it to Mr. Fury." Tony replied miserably, idly picking at something that had long since adhered itself to the table.

Bruce couldn't help but laugh at the mental image of Tony having that conversation with Loki and he was glad he didn't hold back because he saw Tony smile as he chuckled.

"Well, I was just thinking that maybe he'd talk to you if you two were, you know, alone. If you two have history, he might be more comfortable opening up about what his plans are. Right now, we've got nothing but we know he's planning something big." Bruce elaborated, watching Tony's expression for any sign of irritation... unlike Thor, he could take a non-verbal cue.

Reaching for his coffee once again, Tony grasped the mug and stared into the dark liquid with a forlorn and faraway look in his eyes.

"He didn't say a word to me while we were in the jet with Spangles and Widow." Tony said softly, moving his cup to get the coffee to swirl into a little whirlpool. "Somehow I don't think he'd say much to me anyway, even if it was just me and him. We didn't exactly part on good terms." 

Tilting his head to the side, Bruce furrowed his brow and pushed his glasses up with one finger.

"What do you mean?" Bruce prompted, his expression gentle and curious.

Tony sat still and quiet for a few moments as he replayed that night at the Malibu house, sadness creeping over his expression like a shadow. 

"He didn't know I had been rescued from Afghanistan. Guess he'd gone back home to Asgard. He showed up one night looking for Pepper, I guess... and found me. At that time, Pep and I had been trying to make "us" work and Loki got an eyeful of us kissing." Trailing off, Tony sighed and closed his eyes. "I'll remember that look on his face for the rest of my life. He looked like I'd just ripped his heart right out of his chest. I tried to explain myself but only ended up sticking my foot down my throat. Loki very literally disappeared... I shoulda known there was something strange about him then but I just... my world had been turned upside down and I was just starting to get it back on track and when he came back, it was like a goddamn tornado scattered my reality around again. I ended up losing Pepper too... because of some asinine thing I said and I shut myself away for a while. Thought I would go completely fucking bonkers." 

Bruce frowned as Tony told his story and averted his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking up at Tony once more.

"It's clear to me that you still carry a torch for him... and maybe he still carries one for you too. I'm not saying this will be some fairytale cake-walk where you go down there, you guys look into each other's eyes and all of a sudden he's full of puppies and rainbows instead of doom and gloom but... there's no harm in trying, right? I mean, he's locked up in a room that's meant to hold me. Even if he hates your guts he can't get to you." Bruce said, watching as Tony mulled his words over.

Tony held Bruce's gaze for a moment while his mind tried to calculate the odds of him wanting to throw himself off the edge of the helicarrier tarmac without his suit on after a conversation with Loki. He honestly wasn't sure he could look at that hurt in Loki's eyes, feel the hurt in his own chest again. 

"I don't know, Bruce..." Tony admitted with a sigh, lowering his gaze again.

Bruce frowned and got up from his chair to stand behind Tony's. Reaching out, he clasped his hands on Tony's shoulders and squeezed gently.

"C'mon. This isn't you. This isn't the famous Tony Stark. You owe it to yourself to at least get some closure with this thing between the two of you." Bruce insisted, squeezing Tony's shoulders once more before patting him on the back. "Besides, I've got your back. No matter what happens." 

Tony turned in his chair and looked up at Bruce, a soft smile curving his lips. 

"Thank you." Tony murmured, the sentiment genuine. "That means a lot to me." 

"That's what friends are for." Bruce added with a smile of his own, moving back toward the door of the cabin. "I'll go try and smooth things out with the others. Just think about what I said, okay?"

Tony nodded in agreement and smiled a little more genuinely, raising one hand to salute Bruce as the bespectacled man took his leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am quite enjoying the process of writing these chapters now that I'm deviating from the usual story quite a bit. I've already started the next chapter... and I'm curious to see what you guys think.
> 
> Thanks as always for reading and kudos-ing! Leave me a comment, I love to read them :)
> 
> Song inspiration: "Cracks" - Freestylers (Flux Pavillion remix)


	15. Through Glass

It had taken Tony nearly forty minutes to convince himself to get out of the chair Bruce had left him in and during the trip down toward the cell where Loki was being held he had nearly turned back sixteen times. To be fair, though, the last time wasn't his fault. 

Thor reached out and caught Tony by the shoulder, stopping him mid-step with his unintentionally strong grip. Making a sort of unintelligible sound, Tony whirled around and found himself eye to eye - okay, eye to chest - with Loki's older brother.

"Man of Iron, I wished to apologize for my transgressions earlier." Thor started earnestly, his expression serious. "I have been told that the way in which I divulged your history with my brother has caused you some grief. Please accept my sincerest apology." 

Tony stared up at Thor, noting how impossibly tall and broad he was. Furrowing his brow after a moment, he shook his head.

"Look, big guy, first of all, stop calling me 'Man of Iron' because it's weird. My name's Tony. Second of all..." Tony paused, sighing heavily. "You're forgiven. It had to come out eventually, I guess."

Thor smiled a broad, sunny smile and patted Tony's shoulder heavily. 

"As you wish, Tony." Thor agreed, lowering his giant paw of a hand after a moment.

"You're not going to smite me with that hammer of yours for getting involved with your brother, are you?" Tony asked, a smile on his face but a very real concern in mind... the guy was _huge_.

Thor laughed, a great booming sound that made Tony smile. The laugh suited Thor.

"Of course not! Loki is grown and fully capable of choosing his own romantic partners." Thor assured Tony, grinning before he pulled Mjolnir from his side to brandish it at Tony. "Unless you hurt him. Then you'll taste pain." 

Blinking, Tony took a step back from Thor with hands raised, his gaze studying the unreadable expression on the blonde's face. He didn't know whether or not Thor was serious about that last bit and he wasn't sure he wanted to ask. There was an awkward silence between them for a moment and Tony wondered if he should just turn around and continue on his merry way before Thor spoke up again.

"Are you going to go see him?" Thor asked, knowing that he didn't need to specify who 'him' was.

Tony lowered his gaze, searching the floor of the hallway for nothing in particular. 

"I was thinking about it." He admitted, glancing back up at Thor. 

Thor nodded, his own gaze far away as he looked just past the top of Tony's head in thought. The news of Tony and Loki's relationship was certainly a shock to him but Thor felt as if he Tony was a man of honor, someone he could trust. 

"Loki has been troubled lately." Thor started, his blue eyed gazed fixed on Tony once more. "He did not take the news that I am to take the throne well. In fact, he tried to kill me."

Thor laughed as he recalled the fight against the Destroyer in the desert of New Mexico as if it were a fond memory. Tony furrowed his brow, staring at Thor and wondering if the Asgardian was even nuttier than his brother. Since when was attempted murder something to chuckle about?

"Loki was also told of his true parentage by the All-Father and he seeks to use that as a tool to divide us." Thor added, a sadness creeping into his eyes.

Tony took a moment to process the information but he was missing pieces, important pieces that would help him truly understand. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he looked up at the man before him.

"So he's not really your brother?" Tony asked, slightly confused.

Thor shook his head and smiled though that sadness still remained in those crystal blue eyes.

"In my heart, he will always be my brother. It matters not that he was not borne of the same parents. We were raised together, we fought together and we share many cherished memories. Loki's Jotun heritage makes no difference to me but he finds great shame in his bloodline." Thor explained, leaning his hulking frame against the nearest wall as he fastened Mjolnir to his belt once more.

Tony wracked his brain for any sort of definition for the word 'jotun' and wished he had JARVIS around to fill him in without looking like an idiot and having to ask Thor. He didn't know how sore a subject this all was and the last thing he wanted to do was alienate the big guy with the hammer. Thor offered no further explanation and after a moment, Tony collected the courage to press for more information.

"Forgive my silly human ignorance, but...jotun?" Tony asked, genuinely curious. 

Thor sighed a great sigh as he tried to think of how best to describe the term to Tony. It was becoming quickly apparent that no one on Midgard had any idea what went on in any of the other realms, a fact that Thor was having difficulty adjusting to.

"The Jotun are a race of people from Jotunheim. They are also known as frost giants to the people of the realms. Truth be told, Jotun are often viewed as creatures to be feared, monsters of the cold, barren night." Thor clarified, looking hopefully to Tony for signs of understanding.

Tony chewed on his lip, brows knit together as he mulled over the new information. Jotun were from Jotunheim... made enough sense, he supposed. What didn't make sense was the fact that there seemed to be very little difference in the way Thor and Loki looked. They were both tall, light-skinned... he didn't completely understand the difference but he wasn't going to ask. All of this was bordering on too much, too soon as it was.

"He never did tell me much about himself." Tony replied, his voice soft as he reflected on all of the time he and Loki had spent together. "He always seemed so interested in what I was doing and learning about the things I was interested in. I just thought he was a tourist... boy, was that one off the mark." 

Tony laughed and scratched at the back of his head, ruffling his dark hair as his tired mind worked to file all of this new information away. Thor shot Tony a puzzled look, his head cocked to the side like a confused golden retriever.

"A tourist?" Thor repeated, the lack of comprehension obvious.

Tony laughed again and looked up at Thor. He didn't know which was more amusing, explaining the term "tourist" to an alien or the way Thor was looking at him.

"A tourist is someone who isn't from "around here". You know, someone who is away from home and out of his element." Tony explained, chuckling as he watched the cogs turning.

"Your assessment is not untrue. Loki was indeed a great distance away from home." Thor observed honestly, nodding his head.

Tony stared at Thor in amusement. The big guy wasn't wrong. Thor seemed genuine and kind but the difference between Thor and Loki was like night and day when it came to book smarts and sharp wit. In the time that he had spent with Loki, he had known the man to be incredibly quick-witted, catching on to notions and ideas and running with them like he'd always known the information. Tony wondered how it was possible that more people hadn't noticed that the two weren't related, if one were to go by wits alone.

Tony sighed through his nose, glancing over his shoulder at the door that waited at the end of the hallway. Thor's little pep talk - if it could even be considered one - had given him a bit more courage than he'd come down here with and he felt like he was ready to go face Loki. Well, almost ready. Turning to look up at Thor once again, he offered an amicable smile as he reached out and patted Thor on one gigantic bicep.

"Anything else I should know before I head into the lion's den?" Tony asked, his tone lighter than it had been when their conversation had started. 

Thor seemed to reflect on the question silently for a moment before meeting Tony's gaze.

"Loki may have made mistakes, but he is not beyond reason. I have hope that you may be able to bring him to his senses." Thor answered, pausing thoughtfully for a moment. "Also, be kind to him. Loki may act as if he has no regard for the opinion of others but I know a very different man than the one that waits in that cell."

Tony stared at Thor for a moment, surprisingly moved by the warmth in Thor's words. It was obvious that Thor loved Loki with the whole of him and Tony didn't want to disappoint. Nodding his head, Tony patted Thor's arm once more.

"I'll do my best. No pressure or anything." Tony joked, a real smile on his lips.

"Good luck." Thor said in response, clasping a hand on Tony's arm in return before turning to make his way down the hall toward his own cabin.

Tony watched Thor until he disappeared around a corner. Closing his eyes for a moment, he breathed in deep and held it a moment before exhaling heavily. Before he could change his mind, Tony turned on heel and made for the door.

\---

Tony cautiously peered around the edge of the doorway like a child watching for his parents before he took those last brave steps into the holding room, knowing that he would not be able to turn back once Loki could see him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from the Great Tony Stark?" Loki asked sarcastically, standing in the middle of the round containment chamber with hands clasped behind him. 

Pride and conviction be damned, Tony almost turned on heel and ran back through that door. Maybe it was his anxiety acting up again but he didn't like that tone of voice at all. Still, he was used to pretending to be something he wasn't and right now, he would pretend to have his wits about him. Taking a few more steps up a short staircase, he found himself in front of the glass chamber but still a good twenty feet from Loki's imposing form.

"You know, you'd save everyone a load of paperwork if you'd just quit with this tough guy act." Tony said in his best demonstration of nonchalance. 

Loki smirked but it was obvious that the humor was artificial. Cold eyes regarded Tony as he moved to lean back against some metal railing.

"Oh, it is no act, Tony. I have seen the true power of the Tesseract and I aim to bring the glory of its knowledge to the Earth and all her people." Loki insisted, offering Tony an off-putting smile.

Tony's brows furrowed and he tilted his head as he considered Loki's words. There was something decidedly strange about them. Filing it away for later, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever you say..." Tony said softly, studying his nails for a moment. "...but you and I both know you don't really believe that." 

Frowning, Loki took a step forward and stared at Tony for a moment, trying to work out what he was getting at. Tony smiled and stood upright, moving to step forward as well. Eighteen feet away.

"How would you know what I believe, _Tony Stark_? You know nothing of me." Loki hissed, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, I know plenty about you, babe. Have you already forgotten about all those nights we spent together?" Tony countered, still smiling.

"A distraction, nothing more, I assure you." Loki quipped, offering a smile of his own.

Tony nodded his head as he made a show of mulling over Loki's words. When he looked up at Loki again, his expression was serious, the sparkle in his dark eyes a bit more emotional.

"Then why do you still wear that necklace I gave you?" Tony asked simply, holding Loki's gaze.

For a moment, Loki's composure faltered and one hand reached up to his chest before he could correct himself. Tony took the opportunity to pounce - figuratively speaking - and took another couple of steps forward until his nose nearly touched the glass.

"Didn't think I'd notice, did you? You underestimate me. I told you I was a genius. I could see a hint of the chain just under the collar of your coat." Tony explained, still staring Loki down. "It's nice to see you keep it close to your heart."

Loki lowered his gaze, brow twitching ever so slightly as his fingers curled into his clothing, above the pendant he had thought was hidden away from sight. Tony simply watched for a moment, taking in the smallest of flinches in Loki's composure and hoping that he didn't display any of his own. For the third time today, he was pretty sure he was trying to have a heart attack.

"Maybe it's because some part of you still loves me." Tony suggested, his tone soft. "Maybe it's because you know I still love you."

Lowering his hand, Loki raised his head and Tony could see the glint of moisture in Loki's eyes despite the steely look on his handsome face.

"Love." Loki repeated, somehow making the word sound reprehensible. "You don't love me, Tony Stark. You love your gadgets and your whores and your money but do not pretend to love _me_." 

Tony didn't overlook the emphasis Loki had put on his words, the way that he had emphasized "me" rather than "love". Nor did he overlook the way that Loki had started to tremble ever so slightly or the way his fists clenched tight until his knuckles turned white. Smirking, Tony lowered his eyes briefly before looking back up at Loki, raising one hand to press it down palm-flat on the smooth glass between them.

"That's where you're wrong. What you saw when you made that impromptu visit to my house in Malibu, that was me trying to get over you. That was me trying to live my life and not let your absence destroy me from the inside. When I found out you were gone, after I fought so hard to get out of that cave in Afghanistan, I was crushed, Lokes. It broke my heart to know that the only reason I had for living through those three awful months had given up on me." Tony explained truthfully, letting just a little too much of a plea for understanding slip into his voice.

"I thought you dead!" Loki shouted, leaning forward to stare daggers at Tony.

Tony looked at Loki for a long moment, studying the pain in Loki's eyes before nodding his head in acknowledgement.

"I know." Tony murmured. "I don't blame you... but I want you to know that I never gave up on you. I tried to find you even after you disappeared from my house. I broadened JARVIS' search criteria to include all kinds of things in the hopes of finding just a single blip on the radar, one little inkling that maybe you were still around." 

"And now, here you stand before me, hoping that with a few kind words you might stop me from claiming what is rightfully mine?" Loki asked, regaining his calm for the moment.

Tony shook his head and smiled a sad smile.

"One of the things I know about you is that you're going to do what you damn well please and me baring my heart to you isn't going to make one bit of difference." Tony answered, sighing softly before he continued. "I'm not gonna lie, every single part of me wishes you'd knock this shit off, answer whatever charges they're going to bring against you and come home with me... but I know you won't."

Loki's expression wrinkled up in confusion for a moment as he listened to Tony's words. 

"Then why bother? Why not just carry out your mission and destroy me?" Loki asked, wariness in his narrowed eyes.

Tony laughed softly and shook his head once more, his eyes on the ground. 

"I had to see you again. I had to let you know that there's one person on this earth that hasn't given up on you, one person who knows that you're more than a crazed grab for power." Tony paused, raising his eyes to meet Loki's skeptical gaze. "If there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I couldn't destroy you if I wanted to."

For one brief, shining moment, Loki let his guard fall down. The anger and suspicion on his face relaxed into realization and for a moment, the old Loki was back and that made Tony smile. The look in Loki's crystalline eyes became clouded and sad after a moment and he looked away from Tony, away from those damnable big brown eyes.

"It's too late." Loki whispered with a shake of the head. "Even if I wanted to, even if I chose to turn it all around right now, I couldn't do it. The plan has already been set in motion and it cannot be stopped. Not for me, not for you."

"Why not?" Tony pressed, taking care to keep his voice soft.

Loki kept his eyes on the ground, his hand reaching up toward his chest to rest over the top of the pendant that rested above his heart once more. In truth, Tony's words had hit Loki right at his very core. Hit him right in that small part of him that, in spite of all that had happened in Asgard, still held onto the foolish belief that someone might truly care for him. 

Loki could see the sincerity in Tony's eyes, hear it in his words but he had told the truth himself... there was nothing that could be done. If he were to call off the Chitauri, renege on his end of the bargain struck, even then he could not be with Tony for he would be a hunted man. Loki pressed his palm into his chest as hard as he could, the sharp edges of the pendant digging into his flesh and bruising there. It seemed the Norns would never cease to punish him.

Tony looked on as Loki fought with himself, wishing that he could get inside of that glass room and wrap his arms around Loki. Sure, it was probably insane to want to be in the same room as a man who had murdered eighty people in two days but there was something haunted behind the facade that Loki put up, something that Tony could see was just as much fear as it was madness. 

Finally raising his head, Loki parted his lips to speak and was interrupted by the sound of an explosion that rocked the whole of the massive helicarrier, causing the ship to list briefly to one side before leveling out. Tony and Loki both looked up as the sirens and emergency beacons went off, orders rattling out from the PA system. 

Tony knew that he needed to get back to the Avengers in a hurry, needed to check on the status of the helicarrier and get to work doing whatever needed doing. It was his job, after all. Before he turned to leave, Tony turned his attention back to Loki only briefly and in those eyes he could swear he saw regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In spite of the melancholy overtones in this chapter I really enjoyed writing it. Poor Tony and Loki can never catch a break, can they?
> 
> For those of you who might be fearful that the ending is going to be something awful that you're going to hate: If you have had the perseverance to read this far, I will assure you that I will do my best to write an ending that will please frostiron fans... and I think everyone can agree that probably means that the two will reunite without all this S.H.I.E.L.D. hullabaloo. ;)
> 
> Thank you as always for reading and thank you for your comments and kudos. I really, really truly appreciate it. I'm floored by the fact that more than 10 people read this in the first place and your praise is both humbling and encouraging.
> 
> Song inspiration: "Through Glass" - Stone Sour


	16. Short Change Hero

What Tony had run into upon returning to the helicarrier deck was nothing short of chaos. An engine had been blown, people were down, heroes were scattered. He had been forced into teaming up with The Cap to fix the blown engine and stabilize the ship while Thor and Natasha were who knows where, fighting battles of their own. Last he'd heard, Bruce had been unable to contain the giant rage monster and secretly, Tony was glad he didn't have to deal with it as much as he wanted to see the mutation in action. 

Things hadn't calmed once the immediate crisis had been dealt with. As it turned out, Agent Barton had been the instigator of the whole mess, under Loki's - no, under the Tesseract's - control and Natasha was busy beating some sense into him. Thor had gone missing along with Bruce and Agent Coulson was dead. Like a rotten cherry on top of a giant shit-covered sundae, Loki had escaped.

Time seemed to slow to a near-halt as they made their way back to New York, the tone somber. Tony had insisted he take off to Stark Tower based on information they had gleaned from the scans they'd been running. A blip on the radar had shown strange activity at the tower and he needed to check it out for himself. The rest of the team would be nearby and ready for orders. 

Circling the tower, Tony spotted someone below, on the roof, next to a device that contained none other than the Tesseract itself. Coming in closer, Tony took a moment to observe and assess the situation. The strange device had started to glow and whir, as it warmed up for whatever horrible purpose it was designed for.

"Sir, I've turned off the arc reactor. The device is self-sustaining." JARVIS advised, cutting through Tony's concentration. 

"Shut it down, Dr. Selvig." Tony ordered, hovering just above the man.

Dr. Selvig turned around and smiled a manic smile up at Iron Man as he gestured to the machine, his eyes a bright unnatural blue.

"It wants to tell us something!" Dr. Selvig exclaimed, still smiling.

"Ookay...." Tony said, noting that the man was clearly not in his right mind.

Moving back just a little, Tony raised the arms of the Iron Man suit and charged his repulsors, shooting a blast of energy at the device in an attempt to explode it. There was some sort of forcefield around the device, something invisible that Tony had no idea was even there and it deflected the energy right back at Tony, causing his suit to crackle and lose stability temporarily. Righting himself, he shook his head. 

"The device is pure energy, Sir." JARVIS noted helpfully.

"Yeah, I got that. Time for plan B." Tony acknowledged, turning to fly toward the "car wash" outside his suite at Stark Tower.

As soon as Tony landed and his suit had been removed, he knew exactly what he was going to do first. He needed a goddamn drink like he'd never needed a drink before. Taking the elevator up to the penthouse suite that he called his home away from home, he stalked heavily to the wet bar and poured himself a shot... and then another for good measure. Movement outside caught Tony's eye and he made his way toward the wall of glass windows and peered outside, confirming by sight what he had already guessed.

Loki made his way to the large glass doors and let himself inside, stepping into the suite with scepter in hand. Tony mustered up a tired smile and Loki returned the gesture as he came to a stop. 

"The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that." Loki announced, turning briefly to glance at the sky.

"Wrong. You could change that." Tony corrected, sipping whiskey from the glass tumbler in his hand. "Want a drink?" 

Loki shook his head at the offered drink and sighed heavily at Tony's petulant response. Turning to look at Tony, he watched as the smaller man closed the distance between them, crossing languidly over expensive tile.

"You are a fool if you truly believe that I could stop this now." Loki countered, gesturing with the scepter in his hand. 

Tony smirked and took another pull from the tumbler, emptying its contents and savoring the burn in his throat. Moving to set the glass down on the nearest available flat surface, he turned to face Loki once more, one finger pointing at the scepter Loki held.

"So you're telling me that you're in charge of this show and you couldn't just wave your glowstick of destiny and call it off? That doesn't make much sense. What good is that thing for, then?" Tony questioned, arching a brow high.

Loki's brow furrowed as Tony made light of the power he'd been given and he raised the scepter, squaring the long, pointed end at Tony's chest. 

"Do not mock me, Tony. This scepter holds more power than you know. The power of the Tesseract is channeled through it and with this weapon, I am able to reveal the truth and knowledge of the Tesseract itself. How do you think I convinced Agent Barton to join my little team of renegades? His loyalty certainly wasn't won with a smile and a handshake." Loki argued, a smile curving his lips.

"We know you brainwashed him. That's old news, Lokes. I just don't get why it's impossible for you to turn this around if you've got all that power right at your fingertips." Tony reasoned, refusing to back down even if he was at the end of an awfully pointy weapon. 

"Why would I want to? The truth will set you free." Loki said simply, inching the end of the scepter ever closer to Tony's chest. "Maybe I should show you." Loki suggested, the smile he wore turning wicked.

Before Tony could get a chance to respond Loki was tapping the scepter on his chest, earning a defiant little 'tink' from the arc reactor beneath his shirt. Frowning in confusion, Loki tried again and a third time, just for good measure. Raising his eyes to look at Tony, he stared for a moment. 

"I don't understand..." Loki started, looking back down at Tony's chest in bewilderment.

Smiling, Tony raised a hand and pushed the end of the weapon away from his chest. Loki dropped the weapon to his side and stared into Tony's dark eyes.

"It's called an arc reactor." Tony explained, tapping the instrument briefly. "During my little stay in Afghanistan I was injured pretty badly when one of my own missiles detonated next to me... this thing keeps the shrapnel from entering my heart and ending me."

Blinking, Loki narrowed his eyes and noticed the faint glow of the reactor that shone through the T-shirt that Tony wore before searching Tony's eyes once again. Tony smiled a bittersweet smile up at Loki and shrugged his shoulders. 

"Now what? Are you going to end me?" Tony asked simply, hoping the answer would be a resounding 'no'.

"Are you going to try to stop me? Stop this?" Loki countered, gesturing back toward the sky beyond the windows.

"The Avengers will... and if they can't, they'll avenge what happened and take you down." Tony responded, standing his ground and holding Loki's gaze. "Call me a fool, but I'm hoping it won't come to that. As I recall, you had a pretty good time here on Earth and I'd hate for those memories to go up in flames."

Loki scoffed and shook his head, taking a step back before turning to pace the room for a moment.

"Did Thor put you up to this? Did beseech you to try to appeal to my humanity?" Loki demanded, venom in his voice as he turned his head to stare at Tony. "Whatever sway he might have once held is long gone, Tony. I owe him no favors." 

Tony shook his head and sucked in a deep breath before closing the gap that Loki had put between them. Raising both hands, he set his palms on Loki's chest and looked up at the demigod with sincerity in his eyes.

"No. I'm doing this for me. For you. For _us_." Tony clarified, taking a risk and sliding one hand upward to curve at the side of Loki's neck. "To hell with Thor and everyone else. I know you're better than this."

Just for a moment, it seemed as if Tony was really getting through to Loki. The storm in those bright eyes cleared briefly as they stared each other down, neither one willing to move just yet. Then, just like that, the storm rolled back in.

"You don't know what you would ask of me. If I call this off, if I send the Chitauri away I'm as good as dead." Loki revealed, a hint of a fearful tremble in his voice.

Searching Loki's gaze, Tony sought for answers to unspoken questions. He couldn't for the life of him comprehend what Loki would be so terrified of. Hell, he was just barely getting to the point where he could comprehend that the man he had come to love wasn't even a man at all or even from the same planet. 

" _Who_?" Tony pressed, an urgency in his tone as he squeezed Loki's shoulder and slipped his hand further upward, cupping one pale cheek. "Who are you so afraid of? Whoever it is, we can beat this, Loki. You and me. Have you seen my suit? I can fly for fuck's sake... and I'll be damned if I'm going to give up on you." 

"I don't know his name." Loki admitted, his gaze faraway as he recalled his time on that forsaken rock with The Other. "But I know he aims to use the Tesseract. That is my trade... the Tesseract for my life and my rule over this realm." 

Huffing a defeated sigh, Tony wracked his brain for an easy answer. At this point, he would have settled for a difficult answer. The dilemma set before him couldn't be the end all, be all... he wouldn't allow it. Tony Stark was nothing if not stubborn. 

"Loki..." Tony started, his other arm snaking around Loki's waist. "Don't do this. Thor told me all about what happened to you. I know what you're going through. I know what it's like to feel like you don't belong in your own family and I don't care that you're not from Asgard. _I love you_. No matter what."

For a long moment, the two looked in each other's eyes. Loki's mind whirred with possibilities, chances that he might take. Could he really turn this around now? Take Tony's assistance and chase the Chitauri away? Could a fallen Prince really become a hero? The warmth in Tony's dark eyes urged change, hoped for love. Loki wished with all his being that he had never landed in the clutches of The Other... maybe if the Norns had seen fit to give him a chance, he would have landed elsewhere. Or maybe he would have died and this could have all been avoided. At the end of the day, it was too late. He knew it and he was sure that despite his foolish hope, Tony knew it too.

Unbeknownst to Tony, a beam of energy had shot from the device on the roof, straight into the atmosphere. At the top of the beam a portal was opening, a great gaping maw that revealed stars and galaxies beyond it. 

"I'm sorry." Loki whispered finally, a deep sort of sadness in his eyes. "I'm so sorry." 

Reaching up with one hand, Loki cupped Tony's cheek in return, the other arm sliding around Tony's waist, scepter still in hand.. Sliding fingers into Tony's dark hair, he leaned in and crushed his lips to Tony's in a intense, melancholy kiss. Tony could do nothing but reciprocate, his eyes sliding closed as he savored the feeling of Loki's lips on his... a feeling he thought he would never experience again. A feeling that he desperately missed.

As Loki tightened his arm around Tony he made the softest sound in the back of his throat, something he would admit was probably a little needy - okay, very needy - but it was honest. He _craved_ this... they both did. For the moment, here with Loki, Tony let himself believe that maybe this could all be fixed. Maybe everything would be okay. 

The portal in the sky above them burbled with life, spawning creatures and vehicles like nothing the Earth had ever seen. The Chitauri flew through the sky into battle, weapons at the ready, blasting at anything and everything in their bid to lay waste and dominate.

Pulling back from their kiss at last, Loki caressed Tony's cheek tenderly before reaching up and placing his palm flat on Tony's forehead. In the blink of an eye, Loki conjured up just enough magical energy to knock Tony out, knowing a blast from the scepter at this close range would have killed him without his suit on. Loki held the smaller man as he slumped, eyes closed and blissfully at rest. 

Taking a moment to carefully lay Tony down on the tiled floor, Loki blinked away the moisture that had once again started to cloud his vision. Maybe this way, with Tony out of the fight, he could at least spare him from the dangers of battle. With another flick of his wrist, he cloaked himself in battle armor, giving Tony once last look before turning to leave. He had an army to lead. 

\---

On the city streets below, Captain America stood with the people of New York and watched as a swarm of alien creatures descended from the skies. For just a moment, he was caught off guard, staring at the invaders in shock. He had never seen anything like it. Instinct kicked in as the swarm grew and he turned, instructing people to evacuate, directing them where to go. He would do his damnedest to ensure that as few people were hurt as was possible. 

Bruce had found his way to the epicenter of the chaos, joining Steve and adding to the destruction as he transformed into the Hulk. He grabbed Chitauri warriors two at a time in massive fists, smashing them together or into the nearest surface. The Chitauri were no match for the "other guy" in strength but it was the numbers that had him overwhelmed. There were just so many of them. When Steve was cornered, the Hulk was there, knocking enemies out of Steve's path.

\---

In the skies, Clint Barton and Natasha were circling in a S.H.I.E.L.D jet, aiming and firing at every target they could find. 

"What the hell are these things?" Clint asked, somewhat rhetorically.

Natasha furrowed her brow as she navigated the plane through the tall New York City skyline.

"Dead." She answered, opening fire and taking out a handful of the creatures.

"I wasn't trained for this shit..." Clint complained, shaking his head.

Moments later, Clint shifted in his seat, unbuckling the safety harness that had been restraining him. Shouldering his quiver, he adjusted his equipment and ducked to look out the window at the swarm.

"Drop me on a rooftop. I can take 'em out as they fly by." Clint instructed, earning a nod of acknowledgement from Natasha. 

The Black Widow fielded the jet to the rooftop of a tall skyscraper, hovering six feet above the roof. Opening the hatch at the rear of the plane, she turned her head to watch as Clint made his way toward the rear of the plane.

"Do you need me out there with you?" Natasha asked, the barest hint of worry in her eyes as she looked at Clint.

Clint grinned and shot Natasha a wink before shaking his head. 

"I've got this. Keep the skies clear as long as you can. I'll see you when it's over." Clint replied, hoping his confidence eased the concern he saw.

Huffing a soft sigh, Natasha nodded her head and watched as Clint jumped to a safe landing. As she pulled the plane away she watched with satisfaction Clint take out a handful of the creatures with one particularly explosive arrow. 

\---

By the time Thor landed on the helipad at Stark Tower, Loki was long gone. Walking inside the open glass door, he caught sight of Tony and ran to his friend's aid. Kneeling beside the slighter man, he quickly looked over Tony's body for any sign of injury. When he found none, he reached down and slapped Tony's cheek once and then a second time when he got no response. Eyelashes fluttering, Tony winced and squeezed his eyes shut tight.

"What the... Loki?" Tony muttered, reaching up with one hand to rub at his forehead. 

"No, Loki is gone." Thor answered gravely, turning to look out the window in hopes of catching sight of his treacherous brother.

Groaning, Tony shifted to sit up and squint at Thor in confusion. One minute he was kissing Loki and the next he wakes up on the floor in Thor's arms. Returning his attention to his friend, Thor patted Tony's shoulder just a little too hard. Thor knew full-well that in the state that he was, Loki would have killed Tony if he didn't still care for him. While he was glad his friend was safe, he wasn't so sure Loki's love was a good thing anymore.

"The Chitauri have come. We need the Iron Man." Thor announced gravely, gesturing outside as he stood on his feet, his other hand extended to help Tony up.

Tony was hauled to his feet faster than he'd planned and for a moment he stared at the mayhem unfolding outside... and that was just the skies. 

"His army." Tony murmured softly to himself, stunned by the sight.

For a moment, Tony couldn't move. It was as if the will to fight had been sucked right out of him. Loki was gone. Again. Only this time, he had betrayed Tony and put the lives of everyone in New York City in danger. Briefly, Tony wondered if Loki ever truly cared for him or if he had just been played for a fool. As much as the sting of betrayal burned him, the pain in his heart was infinitely worse.

Suddenly, Thor patted Tony on the back, breaking Tony out of his reverie before jogging back toward the door he'd come in through. 

"Come. We cannot delay." Thor instructed before stepping out onto the walkway and throwing Mjolnir out to catch several Chitauri at once.

Tony nodded once, hesitating just a moment before taking off to suit up and join the fray. He try would at least save the city that he loved, even if he couldn't save the man that had broken his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the battle of New York. Not gonna lie, it's a struggle for me to keep up with so many characters which is why the others are just touched upon... and, well, this is a frostiron fic. Nevertheless, we're almost through the Avengers storyline and back into total freeform territory! I estimate I've got about 3 or 4 chapters left after this one and maybe an epilogue. Truthfully, this story is already way, way longer than I had anticipated it would be.
> 
> Thanks as always for reading and thank you for kudos and comments! Those comments make my day :)
> 
> Song inspiration: "Short Change Hero" - The Heavy


	17. Human

The fight against the Chitauri was certainly easier with Thor and Iron Man involved but no matter how many creatures the Avengers took down, no matter how hard they fought, the aliens just kept coming. In addition to the soldiers that swarmed Manhattan, several larger, armored creatures had come through that portal in the sky, joining their brothers and wrecking everything in their path. There were several times when the heroes found themselves segregated, surrounded. The longer the battle went, the more hopeless it was starting to seem.

Tony, for his part, was doing the best he could. He used his ability to fly to lead the soldiers right where they needed them so that they could be destroyed. Last he had checked, Barton was on a rooftop, sniping from a distance. Natasha and The Captain were down on the ground holding off the foot-soldiers as well as they could manage. The Hulk was off radar, away from communication in his transformed state and Thor had taken off to deal with Loki who had been blown out of the sky and back onto the landing at Stark Tower. For now, he would continue circling buildings and dodging fire until they came up with a better plan.

\---

Thor landed on the concrete walkway that rounded on the outside of Stark Tower heavily, Mjolnir in hand. Looking up, he caught sight of Loki who had rolled onto his side after landing about fifteen feet away. 

"Loki!" Thor called, getting to his feet and closing the gap between the two of them. 

Loki looked up sharply and struggled to his feet as quickly as he could to face his brother. 

"Look at this!" Thor demanded, grabbing Loki and forcing him to out at the city and the utter destruction. "Look around you! Do you think this madness with end with your rule?"

Loki looked out at the city below them with the same regret he felt when Tony had confronted him. He had always had the desire to rule, to have the same power, respect and esteem that Thor took for granted but this... this was all part of a series of unfortunate events. If he hadn't thought of a way off of the Chitauri's world, he would have been a dead man. Loki would chalk it up to self-preservation. 

"It's too late. It's too late to stop it." Loki replied, turning his gaze to look at his brother. 

For a moment, Thor saw the old Loki. The man next to him wasn't the crazed megalomaniac who had sought to destroy him. This Loki was the same one he'd grown up with, the one that he had bailed out when his trickery got out of hand and blew up in his face. The breakthrough gave Thor a bit of hope.

"No. We can. Together." Thor assured his brother, hands clasped firmly on Loki's shoulders. 

\---

On the shield helicarrier, Director Fury was in an argument. The council had informed him of their decision to bring the battle in New York to a swift end with the detonation of a bomb. In spite of the Director's arguments and best attempts at stopping the jet from scrambling to the skies, the council had ordered the strike without his consent.

\---

"Sir" JARVIS started, his pleasant tone jarring in the midst of so much chaos. "There has been a strike ordered. A S.H.I.E.L.D. jet left the helicarrier moments ago with a nuclear payload."

JARVIS' helpful announcement made Tony's blood run cold. Looking at the in-helmet displays, he noted a red blip on the radar, one moving toward Manhattan and moving quickly.

"Shit. JARVIS, put everything we've got into the thrusters." Tony cursed under his breath, redirecting his route. 

"I just did." JARVIS replied.

It didn't take long to find the bomb and Tony tracked at he spend to the interception point over the East River. As he approached the Brooklyn Bridge, he halted suddenly, taking a sharp turn to fly upward and back toward where he had come from. 

Tony chased the bomb for a half-mile or so before he managed to catch up and grip onto the body of the missile tightly with both hands. Holding on for the ride, Tony let the payload follow its flightpath into the city and nearly right into Stark Tower. Throwing on an extra set of thrusters that were built in beside his shoulders, Tony directed the missile skyward, toward the gaping maw in the sky that the aliens were coming from.

\---

The Captain, Natasha and Clint looked up at the sky as the Iron Man sailed overhead. They had received notice of the incoming bomb from Director Fury only moments before.

"What's he doing?" Steve asked, looking to his teammates briefly before looking back to Iron Man as he ascended ever higher.

"He's saving our lives." Natasha answered simply, her expression solemn.

"That's a one-way trip." Steve said, a sort of sad realization on his face.

\---

Thor and Loki both looked up in shock as the Iron Man sailed past them and toward the portal. Loki's eyes were wide as he noted the missile that Tony had a hold of.

"What is he doing?" Loki questioned, suddenly frantic. " _Stop him you fool_!" 

Thor couldn't take his eyes off of the sky, wondering what would become of his friend. Metal armor or not, Thor had no idea if Tony would survive the climb... or the detonation for that matter.

Growling, Loki reached up and blasted Thor with a bolt of green energy, surprising his brother enough to drop Mjolnir and set him free. Scrambling away from Thor's grip, Loki ran for the scepter he had dropped and leaned to pick it up hastily before disappearing in a crackle of energy. After stumbling a moment, Thor grabbed Mjolnir and held it to the sky, in hot pursuit of his brother.

Materializing on the roof of Stark Tower, Loki hefted the scepter in his hands and breached the energy field around the Tesseract. In an instant, Thor was beside Loki, grabbing his arm and pulling it back.

"Loki, think!" Thor cried, squeezing Loki's captive arm. "Who knows what destruction that weapon may bring. If he does not make it through that portal, we might all be destroyed!"

Loki's heart was racing in his chest, his eyes wide and confused. Turning his gaze to the sky, he watched as Tony disappeared inside the portal. Wrenching his arm from Thor's grasp, he thrust the scepter into the middle of the device, disrupting the flow of power from the Tesseract. 

\---

Tony kept his eyes on a giant alien ship, looming above the heavens as he carried the missile ever upwards. The lack of atmosphere and pressure was starting to stall his  
thrusters and the lack of breathable air was making it hard to keep his eyes open. 

Despite everything, Tony knew he had to do this. Destroying that ship was their only hope of saving the city and everyone in it. If it meant he had to sacrifice himself, so be it. If he was honest, he didn't have much to live for anymore. What had he done with his life besides destroy things himself? Every relationship he had he had fucked up in some way or another. 

Sure, he had a successful company to run but it wasn't as if the shareholders and Pepper couldn't carry on without him. Hell, they were the ones who really ran the show. Tony was the guy that played dress up and went to all the events. If anything, he was more a Stark Industries mascot than anything. As for his work, well... Pepper had access to the files that JARVIS stored and she was more than capable of doing good with the information at her fingertips.

Only a few hundred yards into space, Tony heard JARVIS stammer as he tried to speak. The energy that powered the suit was quickly fading and Tony with it. Letting go of the bomb, Tony watched as the missile sailed true, headed straight for the ship. Feeling lightheaded, Tony closed his eyes. Before he lost consciousness, he couldn't help but think that of all the possibilities, this wasn't a bad way to go.

With Tony unconscious and the Iron Man suit powerless, the boosters on his torso ejected from the suit and fell to his sides as Iron Man himself fell, lifeless, back toward the Earth.

\---

Thor and Loki both turned their eyes to the sky once again as the stream of energy cut out and the hole in the sky began to close. In the far distance, they could see an explosion. The portal seemed to collapse on itself without the steady stream of energy and soon enough it was closed... but not before a figure slipped through. 

Loki watched in horror as Tony fell like a stone through the sky, showing no signs of control. Thor had initially smiled at Tony's success but his brow furrowed as he noted the freefall. 

"He's not slowing down..." Thor observed, beginning to swing Mjolnir at his side as he prepared for flight.

\---

Steve, Clint and Natasha turned to watch in surprise as the aliens that had surrounded them emitted a ghastly shriek and fell to the ground. Having been part of a collective, they could no longer survive with the source of their directive destroyed. 

The Hulk dashed to the edge of the rooftop he had been on, his eyes following Tony as he dropped through the air. Leaping from the edge of the building, he grabbed a hold of the suit and dropped with him, knowing that his bulk and strength could shield Tony from the brutal impact that he faced. Before the two of them hit the ground, the Hulk turned to cradle Tony against his chest, taking the brunt of the impact himself. When they had landed safely, the Hulk rolled Tony off of him and onto his back on the ground. 

\---

Thor landed next to the Hulk and Tony, setting Mjolnir down as he looked down sadly at his fallen comrade as the Captain, Clint and Natasha rushed to the scene. Loki materialized a moment later, kneeling down beside Tony.

Moving to Loki's side, Thor leaned down and ripped the faceplate off of the Iron Man suit, throwing it twenty feet away. With Tony's face revealed, the grave nature of the situation was obvious.

"What in the hell? Get away from him, you creep!" Clint exclaimed, tensing as he reached for his bow.

Loki's head snapped to the side and he glared daggers at the lot of them. Noting the way that the Captain's fists had clenched in preparation for a fight.

"Stay back!" Loki hissed, holding one hand out to signal for everyone to stay where they were. "I will do what I can to save his life."

Natasha grabbed a hold of Clint's arm and urged him to still and the Hulk looked on with concern for his friend. Thor simply gazed at Loki with a silent plea for honest intent. 

Running one hand along the outside of Tony's metal armor, Loki noted that the light from the arc reactor in Tony's chest had gone out. His hand was trembling by the time it reached Tony's face and careful fingertips brushed along Tony's jaw and cheek. Closing his eyes, Loki worked to conjure everything he had, a mission that was decidedly more difficult considering the bodily harm he had endured. 

Slowly but surely, a field of gold energy had begun to flare out from Loki's fingertips as he moved his hand back to Tony's chest, his palm resting above Tony's still heart. Loki's other hand reached up to grasp the pendant he wore through his clothes, holding tight to the keepsake as he hoped the Norns would not see him fail. Energy surged within Loki, rattling through his blood like a shock of lightning that manifested as a blinding light that shot forth from his hand. 

When the glow faded, Loki opened his eyes, his hand still clutching the pendant. He and everyone around him held their breath, exhaling all at once as Tony drew in a sharp gasp of air, his eyes opening as if he had been shot with adrenaline. 

"What the hell?!" Tony exclaimed, staring skyward. "What happened?"

Tony looked around and recognized the faces that surrounded him but it came as quite a shock as he laid his eyes upon Loki who still knelt by his side. Loki couldn't help but smile a wide, brilliant smile, grateful for the success in trying to revive his love.  


Everyone else felt overwhelming relief, as if the weight of the world had been lifted from their shoulders. With the Chitauri defeated and Tony's resurrection, the Avengers were elated... they had done it.

"We won." Steve answered at last, shooting a sidelong glance at Loki as he moved just a little closer to Tony.

Blinking his eyes rapidly, Tony's mind was whirring at the news. They really had done it. His plan had been a success. The last thing he could recall was watching the nuke shoot for the alien ship, striking and detonating in an impressive fireball. Tony knew he couldn't have survived the trip into space... the suit he was wearing hadn't been build for interstellar travel. That could only mean that he had died and fallen back to earth and if that was the case, someone had to have started his heart again. Looking back to Loki, Tony reached up with one hand, his muscles weak and exhausted. Laying his armored hand over the top of Loki's, Tony fought the confusion that surrounded his mind like a fog.

Moving quickly, Thor reached around Loki on both sides, bringing Mjolnir tight against Loki's neck and wrenching him back. Now that Loki had brought Tony back to life, there was no reason for him to remain free. Crying out in surprise, Loki's head whipped around to stare up at Thor.

"What are you doing?!" Loki demanded, a wild look in his eyes as he was forcibly pulled to his feet, away from Tony.

"You have committed atrocities against Midgard, brother. You will face Asgardian justice." Thor explained, his expression solemn.

Something felt just a little wrong about arresting his brother after he had saved Tony's life but Thor knew that it had to be done. Before he had departed for Earth, the All-Father had given Thor the means to restrain Loki by way of a pair of handcuffs that had been inscribed with anti-magic ruins. Reaching for the cuffs with one hand, Thor quickly dropped Mjolnir in favor of pulling Loki's arms behind his back to restrain his brother properly. Loki struggled against the restriction, trying his damnedest to free himself but to no avail. Stepping forward, Natasha offered Loki a small smile. 

"We appreciate your assistance in resuscitating Tony but that doesn't mean we can overlook what you've done." Natasha said softly, reaching to press the earpiece hidden by her hair. "Send a vehicle to West 58th. We've got him." 

It took fifteen minutes for the S.H.I.E.L.D. transport vehicle to navigate the wreckage to the Avengers' location and in the meantime, the team had gotten Tony to his feet again. The heroes were all smiles as Thor and Loki were loaded into the back of the truck. All of them except for Tony, who silently vowed that when the smoke cleared, he would find a way to set Loki free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was arbitrarily picking specifics about New York off of a map I found on Google... I make no promises that the things I referred to are even remotely accurate. I couldn't find an address for Stark Tower no matter how hard I focused my google-fu. 
> 
> Also - Hope you all don't mind too terribly much that I jacked around with the events of the battle of New York. It just wouldn't do to have the Hulk smash Loki into the expensive tiles when I needed him to save Tony's life.
> 
> With the Avengers storyline over, the last acts of this story will be completely pulled out of the recesses of my imagination. I hope I do not disappoint.
> 
> Thank you as always for reading and thanks for the kudos and comments. I'm happy that people are enjoying my story!
> 
> Song inspiration: "Human" - Christina Perri


	18. Burning Bridges

"Sir, Director Fury is on the line." JARVIS announced, jarring Tony from his quiet contemplation.

A smile curved Tony's lips and he nodded, sitting further back in the comfortable chair he had been sat in. 

"Put him on." Tony instructed, taking a deep breath now to steel himself...he needed this conversation to go well.

"Of course, Sir." JARVIS answered, a soft tone signaling the transfer of the phone line to the PA system and the video feed to the screen that popped up in front of Tony.

"Stark." Director Fury started, sounding as unamused as he always did. "They told me you were in a hurry to talk to me. This better be good. I'm balls-deep in the aftermath of that lunatic's joyride around New York." 

Tony couldn't help but laugh before he thought about being balls deep in -- okay, nevermind. Nothing could be gained by an unsightly, poorly-timed erection.

"Hey, I know your time is precious. It's not as precious as mine but still precious to you, I guess. Anyway, nice to talk to you again, Fury! Has anyone told you that your eyepatch is looking particularly majestic today?" Tony said with a wide, charismatic smile.

Fury's one eye narrowed as he looked at the video feed on his end. 

"That shit-eating grin can only mean trouble. What do you want?" Fury asked hurriedly, his tone somehow flatter than before.

"That's some way to treat the man that saved your ass. Not to mention the collective ass of this great city." Tony retorted, looking petulant. 

"Look, I appreciate it. We all appreciate it. Without you, the island of Manhattan would be one big, smoking ruin." Fury replied, sounding just a little exasperated. 

"That's better." Tony acknowledged, smiling just a little more widely. "Now, down to business. I understand you're housing a certain "lunatic" until you figure out what to do with him. I've got a proposition for you." 

Fury stared into the camera with brows knit, his expression the very definition of skeptical. 

"And just what is that?" Fury asked, his words hesitant. 

Tony waited a moment, taking one more deep breath to puff himself up a bit more. Anything was possible if you did it with enough confidence.

"Let me have him. I'll rehabilitate him, shine him up. He'll be good as new and out helping old ladies across the street in no time." Tony suggested, that smile unwavering.

For a moment, Fury could not bring himself to move, totally stunned by the suggestion that had just been put out there. He knew that Tony Stark was a ball of mental disorders but he had no idea the man was this bonkers.

"Let me ask you something, Tony." Fury started, pinching the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger.

"Go ahead." Tony prompted, gesturing with his hand.

Looking up at the camera again, Fury was filled with righteous indignation.

"Why in the _hell_ would I do that? Have you seen what it looks like outside?" Fury nearly shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

"Oh, gee, no. Wouldn't you know it, the stunning view from the terrace of my wrecked tower completely glosses over that section of the city." Tony replied, words dripping with the sarcasm they were so heavily coated in.

"I'm being serious." Fury stated flatly.

"So was I. Look, I know you're going to think I'm out of my fucking mind but I know Loki. What happened out there... that wasn't him. That little glowing cube had some kind of affect on him. Just like he was able to control all of those people, that thing had a hold on him too. I guarantee it. Loki told me himself that someone else was pulling the strings behind the scenes. Someone bigger and badder than he ever hoped to be. Loki was doing what he had to do to save his own life." Tony argued, sitting forward in his chair, closer to the camera. 

"You are out of your fucking mind. The guy is a murderer, Stark. He's a war criminal. You can't seriously think for a second that I'm just going to hand him over to your care." Fury countered, shaking his head. 

"I have had a hand in the death of thousands of innocent people, Fury. _Thousands_. I may not have pulled the trigger, but I enabled the people who did. And yet, against your better judgement, you have asked me to be a part in saving this planet from people just like I used to be. Just like Loki. You trusted me with the people of New York. If it's possible for someone like me, the "Merchant of Death", to rise from the ashes and become a hero then it's possible for someone like him to turn around. All I'm asking is that you give him a chance and give me the chance to help him." Tony continued, undeterred despite the utter lack of buy-in on Fury's part.

Fury stared flatly at the video feed before him, silent for a moment. 

"Loki saved my life." Tony added, his smile dialing down a bit. "If he was truly heartless or completely devoid of a conscience, he wouldn't have done that. He'd have rejoiced at one of Earth's heroes having fallen even if he had lost his war."

Shaking his head once again, Fury sighed a great, heavy sigh and looked down at his lap.

"What happened in New York has been in the news in outlets all over the world. Even _if_ you somehow managed to rehabilitate him, you couldn't possibly take Loki in and let him have any kind of a life. You'd have to shelter him at your house twenty-four hours a day because anyone that caught sight of him would be terrified. The authorities would get called and then we'd all be up shit creek without a paddle. What would you have me tell the Council when they got wind of the fact that the guy who just blew up half of New York with his army of creepy ass aliens was just spotted having a motherfucking latte with Tony Stark?" Fury questioned, his head cocked to the side the way he always did when he was completely and utterly unconvinced by the bullshit he'd just heard.

Holding up one finger to pause Fury before he could rant any more, Tony sighed softly and sat back in his chair once again.

"The news feeds showed the army, not Loki specifically. Even in Stuttgart, there was no video of him that I can't get my hands on and destroy. As far as the general public is concerned, they don't know who the hell Loki is. Besides, I have houses all over the world, Fury. I could take him out of New York and somewhere where they wouldn't even know him from anyone else on the street." Tony explained, both hands raised in a pleading fashion. "Just let me have one chance. If I fuck it up, you get to tell me you told me so and send him off to whatever horrible torture camp you've got lined up for him."

There was that sigh again. Fury rubbed at one temple with a couple of fingertips as he processed the proposition that Tony was trying to sell. 

"Have you talked to Big Brother Thunder about this?" Fury asked, rubbing his palm across the top of his bald head.

"I have. Thor is all for it. He loves his brother despite what he's done and he knows that if they take Loki back to Asgard, he's as good as dead." Tony answered, a bit of hope rising within him.

"I cannot believe I am even entertaining this idea." Fury grumbled, staring into the camera with a withered look.

"So we have a deal?" Tony asked, that smile of his turning up to smug level eleven.

\---

Fifteen floors below the city streets, Tony was in an elevator with two heavily armed S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and Director Fury himself. The elevator chime sounded as they reached their destination, thankfully giving Tony room to breathe. His heart was pounding in his chest in anticipation and the limited space of the stainless steel elevator had been stifling. 

Tony followed the three black-clad figures, trailing just a little behind and taking a peek wherever he could along the way down a seemingly endless corridor. As they reached their destination, Director Fury turned around and leveled a heavy gaze on Tony.

"You're sure about this?" Fury asked, wanting to give Tony one last out in case the man had enjoyed a little too much to drink when he'd put forth this whole idea.

Tony tilted his head to smile at Fury, his usual mask of utter confidence on full display.

"As sure as I ever am of anything I do." Tony answered honestly.

Nodding his head, Fury turned around and leaned toward a black device mounted on the wall. A beam of light shot out from the little black box and scanned Fury's retina, granting them access to the room before them.

As the door slid open silently, Tony looked into the cell it revealed. It wasn't unlike the cell that had been on the helicarrier, save for the small army of guards surrounding the glass-walled cell. It was the same color scheme, anyway. With a nod of his head, Fury sent a few of the guards out of their way, giving them access to the panel that controlled the door to the cell. Reaching out to punch in a relatively complicated access code, Fury hit a button and opened the cell.

In the middle of the glass-lined room, Loki knelt down on the floor, a shadow of the confident, brazen commander that they had all seen in New York. Raising his head slowly, Loki looked toward the door and when he saw Tony, his eyes went wide in surprise. Tony smiled big and bold, the smile only faltering when he noted the black muzzle that was clamped tightly over Loki's mouth.

"What's that on his face?" Tony asked, looking back at Fury.

The Director shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to look at Tony. 

"It was Thor's idea. He said it would keep Loki from trying to talk his way out of things. Apparently the guy's got a way with words." Fury answered.

Nodding once in acknowledgement, Tony moved to step away from his entourage and make his way into the cell, toward Loki. As he got close, he smiled a tender sort of smile down at the captive Prince.

"Hey there." Tony greeted softly, moving to kneel down in front of Loki. "You look terrible. Probably the food in here. I bet it's worse than hospital chow." 

Loki looked up at Tony, unable to move much thanks to the shackles or respond but his eyes showed a hint of amusement at Tony's banter. 

"I don't suppose you like it here... god knows Fury wants to keep you but I've got good news for you." Tony teased, genuine excitement in his expression.

Furrowing his brow, Loki tilted his head to the side just a bit in mute curiosity. 

"You've been adopted. No more time at the shelter for you. Your new owner's got a real cozy pad. I hear it's somewhere out by the beach on the west coast." Tony added, unable to keep himself from grinning as he saw Loki's eyes go wide. "What do you say? Wait, sorry. Bad choice of words."

Loki shook his head and laughed, the sound more of a puff of air through his nose. 

"I'll even get you one of those scratching posts with the little house in it. You're gonna love it. But first, we're going to get that thing off your face." Tony finished, reaching into his pocket for the strange looking key that Fury had given him.

It took Tony a few minutes to find the locking mechanism on the muzzle but he considered it record time for figuring out otherworldly restraints. As Tony removed the muzzle, Loki drew in a deep breath before sighing in relief. 

"Thank you." Loki said softly, smiling though he averted his eyes. 

Tony shrugged his shoulders and tossed the muzzle to the ground before hooking his arm beneath one of Loki's and hauling them both to their feet.

"Sorry about the cuffs. Fury says I can't take them off of you until we get to Malibu." Tony explained, offering a sympathetic smile.

"I understand." Loki replied, glancing up at the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents near the doorway.

Tony led Loki back toward the doorway with one arm around the small of Loki's back. As they got to where Fury still stood, Tony reached up and clapped one hand on Fury's leather-clad shoulder.

"Thanks, boss. I promise I'll take good care of him." Tony said with a smile.

Fury rolled his eyes and followed Tony and Loki before moving around them to lead them back to the elevator for the long ride up to the helipad on the roof. Tony had arranged for transport back to a small, local airport where one of the Stark Industries jets was waiting for them. 

\---

Loki sighed in relief, rubbing at his wrists as Tony took the shackles off of him aboard the jet on route back to Malibu. Turning to look out of the small window beside him, Loki watched as the clouds rolled past beneath them.

"What bargain did you strike to set me free?" Loki asked, his voice quiet and hard to hear above the soft whine of the engines.

Tony shrugged, leaning back into a leather seat as he sat down beside Loki. 

"Nothing too crazy. I told Fury I would rehabilitate you." Tony answered, his eyes on the glass of scotch on the table in front of him.

Loki smirked and shook his head just a little bit, his gaze still focused on the world outside that small window.

"And you think you can rehabilitate me? Some would suggest that I am not worth the trouble." Loki replied, his self-deprecating words tapering into silence.

Tony shrugged again, reaching for the scotch and taking two healthy sips before putting the tumbler down once more.

"If I didn't believe in you, I wouldn't have bothered." Tony countered truthfully. "I choose to believe that the man I met in California, the man I fell in love with is still inside there somewhere... and maybe it's a stupid choice but I choose to believe that he loves me back." 

Turning his head, Loki looked at Tony in silence for a moment, his mind trying to find any hidden meaning in Tony's words. It wasn't every day that someone vouched for him, believed in him... and he was hard pressed to simply believe the words himself.

"You've seen my treachery first hand. You know that I am capable of betraying you." Loki started, watching Tony for signs of hesitation. "Yet you still believe that this will go according to your plan?"

Tony held Loki's gaze for a moment before smiling and reaching for his scotch once more. Sipping at his drink for a moment, Tony considered Loki's words. He knew full well what he was getting into when he decided to pitch the idea to Fury. Sure, there was some small part of him that feared that maybe Loki really was beyond saving but the hard-headed majority of him dared to prove that fear wrong. Reaching over into Loki's lap, Tony grasped one long-fingered hand and held it gently.

"I believe I am doing the right thing. Whether this works or ends up blowing up in my face is up to you but I'll take whatever comes... as long as I can keep you close to me for just a little while longer." Tony stated, looking back up into Loki's eyes.

Loki's lips parted just a little, surprised by the certainty with which Tony spoke. He couldn't help but feel warmed by Tony's conviction, his faith in him. Turning his attention to their clasped hands, Loki shifted his hand and threaded his fingers between Tony's. 

"I..." Loki started, cut off by an overly pleasant chime from the PA system.

"We have begun descent into Malibu, California. The local time is seven-thirty pm." JARVIS announced. 

Squeezing Loki's hand with his own, Tony smiled as he leaned back into his chair and closed his eyes. Loki watched Tony for a moment or two, glad to simply be able to take in the sight of the man again. This was the man who had given him a second chance, saved him from certain death in Asgard. Tony was the only person in his life aside from Frigga who had shown so much unanswered faith in him and he didn't want to lose that.

Following Tony's lead, Loki closed his eyes and leaned back into the leather chair with a soft smile on his face. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time he would prove himself worthy of the regard with which Tony held him. Tony had somehow managed to stoke something deep within him, a desire to do good, to keep from falling back into the old ways of treachery and deceit. 

As the plane descended through the clouds and to the lighted runways below, Loki squeezed Tony's hand in return. He knew there would be challenges and obstacles in the path to redemption but now, more than ever, Loki was ready to face the coming days and whatever they may bring as long as Tony was by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it weren't for all the cute fluffy fluff I want to write, I would stick a fork in this fic and call it done. 
> 
> Thanks as always for reading and kudos-ing!! I appreciate the support more than you know. 
> 
> Song inspiration: "Burning Bridges" - OneRepublic


	19. Feel Again

The second Loki walked through the door of Tony's Malibu mansion he felt like he was home. Sure, the last memories he had of this place wasn't exactly good but the good memories outweighed the bad by a mile. He could easily remember spending time in the basement with Tony, quibbling over this and that as they built things together, tested Tony's designs. He hadn't known it then, but he had a role in creating the Iron Man. He recognized some of the items that they had worked on that had made it into the suit and it was with a ironic happiness that he realized that some of those very items had been used against him in battle. 

Tony shucked his shoes as soon as he got in, making a show of stretching and getting comfortable as he reached up and unbuttoned the top couple of buttons of his shirt. Glancing over at Loki as he made for the kitchen, he smiled a fond sort of smile as he caught Loki looking around in reverie. 

"Just like you left it." Tony said softly, grabbing a glass to fill with filtered water from the fridge.

Loki nodded, reaching up to touch the edge of a picture frame. Everything was in its right place but somehow the vast house felt empty, cold. He could feel the heavy weight of their confrontation still hanging in the air and Loki wondered silently if he would be able to turn that around, if they could find the same warmth and happiness that they had shared so long ago. To be honest, he wasn't sure he had it in him anymore... the Norns had seen to that. 

Loki hadn't heard the soft footfalls of socked feet on expensive tile and he jumped slightly when he felt Tony's arm slide across the small of his back. Tony's other arm wound around Loki, holding the glass of water in offering.

"Hey, relax. You're safe now." Tony cooed, a gentle smile on his lips. "You've gotta be thirsty. Can't imagine you could drink or eat with that muzzle on you. We'll order anything you want. Just say the word." 

Tony smiled as he shifted to stand to the side of Loki, watching as Loki took the water and drank it down gratefully, obviously savoring the cool sensation of it on his tongue. After the water was finished, Loki held onto the glass with both hands, studying it to avoid Tony's gaze.

"I simply wish to rest." Loki answered, his mind preoccupied.

Frowning a bit, Tony took the glass from Loki and returned it to the kitchen before making his way back to Loki's side. 

"Okay. Whatever you need. C'mon, let's get you tucked in." Tony agreed, smiling once again though he carefully studied Loki's expression, looking for any hint as to what was running through Loki's mind.

Loki nodded and let Tony guide him back toward the bedroom that they had once shared their nights in. As they crossed the threshold Loki sighed softly, the slightest of smiles quirking the corner of his mouth as he remembered time spent next to Tony's warmth, wrapped up in each other's arms. 

Loki moved to disrobe himself quietly, folding his clothes and setting them aside on the flat surface of a nearby dresser. Down to a plain black undershirt and britches, he pulled back the fluffy comforter and soft sheets to crawl into bed. Tony waited at a distance, not wanting to make Loki feel as if he was being pressured. He wanted Loki to feel comfortable, to feel at home because in Tony's mind, that's what this was... for the both of them. 

Once Loki got settled, Tony rounded the side of the bed and leaned over Loki to tug at the covers, arranging them comfortably over Loki's body. Loki offered Tony a tired smile before closing his eyes without another word. Tony decided to linger there by Loki's side for a moment, waiting until he could see some relaxation wash over Loki and when it didn't come, Tony's brow furrowed in concern. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed beside Loki, Tony reached to brush his fingers through Loki's hair, smoothing it back onto the pillow.

"What's wrong, Lokes?" Tony pressed softly.

Loki's eyes opened, his gaze finding the darkened ceiling that was only barely tinted blue by the light that came from that device in Tony's chest. 

"I'm afraid." Loki admitted, his words hesitant. "Afraid that I won't be able to come back from all that's happened and everything I've done." 

Tony's expression softened into sympathy and he shook his head, shifting to scoot just a little closer to Loki. 

"So you fucked up. Who hasn't? I sure as hell am not going to cast the first stone because I've done plenty of bad things in this lifetime." Tony countered, offering Loki a smile. "That doesn't mean you can't redeem yourself. I'm the poster boy for turning your life around. No one's asking you to become something you're not. I don't expect you to do a 180 and start volunteering at the local old folk's home. Your dry wit and sinister intentions are some of the things I love best about you." 

Loki laughed and met Tony's eyes for the first time since they'd landed but the laughter was short-lived and his smile faded away as the nagging doubts kept their claws in him.

"I've just tried to take over your planet and yet here you are, still trying to convince me that somewhere deep down, I'm capable of redemption? I've hurt you, betrayed you time and time again, harmed the ones you care for and you still claim to love me. Why? After all of this, why do you still believe in me?" Loki questioned, his chest tightening as he finished... he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer for fear of Tony changing his mind.

Tony fell silent for a moment, considering his answer to Loki's question. Truly, there was no reason on earth why he should trust Loki but somehow, he still did. Taking a deep breath and sighing it out through his nose, Tony smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, for one, you saved my life. That alone earns my loyalty... and I believe that you wouldn't have saved my life if it didn't mean anything to you. Secondly, the Loki I know is a brilliant, beautiful soul who is capable of love, mercy and kindness just as much as anything else. We all have our faults and shortcomings but that's part of what makes us who we are and I like every last part of you, good or bad." Tony explained, coming his fingers through Loki's hair again absently. 

Loki for his part was silent, watching intently as Tony spoke and hanging on every syllable. He wasn't sure anyone had ever collectively said that many nice things about him in his entire life up until now. The part of Loki that was deep down, vulnerable and self-conscious was aching for more, for reassurance that he wasn't just going to destroy Tony's trust in him like he had destroyed everything else. 

"As far as love..." Tony started again, pausing to shrug his shoulders again. "...that's not something you can really explain, is it? Hell, it's not something I was even remotely familiar with before you came crashing into my life and ran away with a piece of my heart."

Loki closed his eyes as Tony continued, feeling the prickle of tears at the corners of his eyes. He would not let them fall... not today. He'd done enough crying in the past six months and he was tired of being sad, tired of feeling lonely and unworthy. Tony noted the way Loki's lip trembled ever so slightly and he brought his fingers down from Loki's hair to brush gentle fingertips along one cheekbone, his thumb tracing Loki's lips.

"I went through some real tough times without you, out in the desert and at home and by the look of you when I first saw you on the helicarrier, you went through some tough times of your own. I don't want to hurt anymore... and I don't want you to hurt anymore. All I want is to wake up every morning and see your beautiful face next to mine and know that all of this bullshit has been worth it." Tony added, gazing down at Loki as he caressed soft, pale skin. 

Opening his eyes once more, Loki returned Tony's gaze, staring up into those dark eyes with just a little bit of lingering apprehension. Reaching up, Loki rested one hand over the top of Tony's. 

"I've been a failure my entire life." Loki started, the sadness in his voice making Tony's heart ache. "Always second best, if I placed at all. Please forgive me if I find it difficult to believe you." 

Tony smiled as he saw a bit of an apologetic smile tug at Loki's lips and without hesitation, Tony leaned down and pressed a tender kiss there. Loki sighed, eyes fluttering closed once more as he let himself fall into the moment, focusing only on the kiss that they shared. Tony was the one to pull back slowly after a moment, far enough away to be able to look at Loki properly again.

"I have the rest of my life to prove it to you. And for what it's worth, I've always liked you better than Thor." Tony said with a grin, a twinkle in his eyes. 

Loki laughed as he felt his guard lower some and narrowed his eyes in mock suspicion, feeling playful for the first time in what seemed like forever. 

"That's only because I let you share my bed." Loki retorted, unable to keep from smiling.

"Technically, this is my _bed_." Tony shot back, still grinning. 

Loki's brows raised and he nodded his head in concession, still smiling up at Tony.

"Well played." Loki admitted, reaching up to brush his fingertips along Tony's jaw, pursing his lips in thought. "Would it be terribly rude of me to say that I've changed my mind about dinner?" 

Tony shook his head and turned to kiss at those fingertips. It made him happy to hear that Loki's appetite had returned... maybe that meant that part of what he'd said had sunk in after all.

"Not at all. What do you say I order us a pizza? You seem to prefer it to my usual asian takeout." Tony suggested.

Loki nodded his approval and Tony called on JARVIS to place an order. 

\---

Within the span of ninety minutes they had each downed their fare share of hot, cheesy-meaty goodness and had ended up on the couch, Tony at one end and Loki sprawled along the length of it with his head in Tony's lap. It was only as Tony was admiring the pale skin that stretched from beneath the collar of Loki's shirt that he remembered something that Thor had told him, something he had been incredibly curious about.

"Hey, there's been something nagging at the corner of my brain for a while now. If you're originally from Jotunheim, why don't you look different from Thor?" Tony wondered aloud, his fingers tracing along Loki's shoulder.

All at once, Loki was up and off the couch and five feet away, staring at Tony like a cornered cat. Loki's blood pressure and heart rate had shot through the roof as the truth of it all came crashing back into the present. This was it. This was the very thing that Loki had dreaded most about his reunion with Tony. If he could have kept it a secret, maybe they would have had a chance... but now there was no hiding it and truth be told, Loki was absolutely terrified beneath the anger he put on display. Raising his hands up, Tony's eyes went a bit wide, genuinely stunned by the reaction a simple question had gotten.

" _Who told you_?" Loki hissed, fists clenching angrily to match the sudden fury burning in his eyes. "Was it _Thor_?"

Tony swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and kept his gaze steady, his hands still raised in surrender.

"Whoa, whoa. It's not a big deal, Lokes. I don't care where you're from." 

" _WHO TOLD YOU_?" Loki demanded, obviously enraged and not at all phased by Tony's attempts at assurances. 

Tony sighed in defeat, slumping ever so slightly into the cushion of the couch that sat behind him. Thor had mentioned that Loki had been ashamed of his heritage but he'd had no idea that it was this touchy a subject.

"You're right. Thor told me." Tony admitted, his tone soft and even. "Like I said, I don't care where you're from. I already know you're from a whole other planet... it's not like it makes a difference that you happen to be from a different one than I had originally thought." 

"I'll murder that oaf while he sleeps." Loki swore, turning to pace in lines as if he was caged. 

Tony watched Loki in stunned silence for a moment, wondering if he was going to wear trails in the tile beneath his feet. This was obviously so much more than a sore subject. 

"Loki, baby... calm down, please. Stop thinking about murdering your brother and come back over here." Tony pleaded, beginning to worry that maybe he'd just armed a bomb he couldn't disarm.

"Thor is _not_ my brother. He never was. He had no right to tell you of my parentage. He knew full well of the shame it brings me and that shame was only compounded by the the fear of you finding out." Loki answered defiantly, still pacing as he burned with anger. "You say it matters not but if you only knew what monsters the jotun are... you'd cast me out in an instant."

Tony sighed heavily and slumped back fully, closing his eyes and rubbing his hands over his face. Way to go Tony, he thought miserably, way to slide right back to ground zero after he'd worked so hard to bring Loki back up. With one poorly-timed question, Tony had wedged his foot in his mouth and sent Loki into a blind rage. 

"Loki..." Tony started, sitting back up to watch Loki as he stalked the floor. "If you grew a third arm and turned orange tomorrow I'd still love you. C'mon. It can't be that bad. You don't look any different to me. Why would I cast you out?"

Loki stopped pacing for long enough to turn and look at Tony, eyes narrowed. 

"I only look this way because the All-Father cast an illusion on me! You have fallen in love with a lie, Tony Stark. Oh, your kind words and gentle touches lulled me but now the truth is out. I wonder, would you truly still care for me if I revealed my true self to you?" Loki seethed, trembling ever so slightly as he waited impatiently for Tony to respond.

Well, there was Tony's answer. Suddenly, Tony was incredibly curious about the form that Loki was so gravely ashamed of. It couldn't be that bad, could it? Of course, Tony could come up with about a thousand different combinations of things that might be... well, slightly disturbing... but he would wait and see. His imagination was dangerous when it ran away from his control.

"So show me." Tony challenged, shrugging his shoulders. "Show me what you really look like and you'll see for yourself that it doesn't bother me in the slightest."

Loki laughed, a loud, incredulous laugh as Tony challenged him and he took a moment to bow mockingly to Tony.

"As you command... but the only thing I will prove is that I am right in loathing my true form. Prepare yourself, Stark!" Loki exclaimed, nearly in hysterics.

Seconds later, Loki was covered in a gentle golden glow, similar to what Tony had seen that night when Loki had so suddenly vanished from his house. The energy shimmered and fell down around Loki like a candle's dripping wax, leaving what was essentially Loki beneath it. Except he was blue. Very blue. Tony watched in fascination as lines raised along Loki's blue flesh and the light crystalline eyes he was accustomed to turned red as blood, iris and whites both. 

By the end of the reveal Loki stood with his burning gaze downcast and arms pulled around his middle self-consciously. Tony could tell Loki was still tense as a bowstring and probably freaking out inside but now he was very, very still and silent. If Tony had learned anything from the many arguments he had been involved in throughout his life, it was that the silence meant far worse than any coarse words. But from what Tony could see, there was no reason for it at all. 

Standing from the couch, Tony approached Loki with cautious steps, stopping just in front of him but far enough away to give Loki an easy escape if he so desired. The last thing Tony wanted was to set Loki off again. Tony knew he had to choose his actions and his words very, very carefully.

"These markings are fantastic." Tony observed, following the raised lines with fascinated eyes alone. "I've never seen anything like this color. Is the blue color why they call the jotun "frost giants"?"

"No." Loki said simply, his jaw clenching and relaxing in an effort to keep himself from crawling out of his skin. "The jotun are capable of commanding the ice and frost. Jotunheim is an awful, desolate wasteland."

Tony nodded his head, merely listening to what little information Loki was willing to give without argument or question. Raising one hand, he let his fingers hover just inches above a marking that ran along the side of Loki's face.

"May I?" Tony asked, tensing a little himself as those blood red eyes shot up to look at him. 

"My flesh will burn you. It is as icy as the barren hills of Jotunheim." Loki warned, apprehension creeping over the fury in his eyes.

"How do you know?" Tony questioned, arching a brow. 

"I've seen it first hand when several of us travelled from Asgard to confront the jotun." Loki explained, hoping to have scared Tony off. 

"But I'm not from Asgard." Tony countered, flashing Loki a smug smile.

Loki sighed and averted his eyes, knowing that Tony would not let this go. Tony was curious by nature and as demonstrated by the fact that he took to the sky in a metal suit to do battle, the threat danger was kind of his thing.

"Do as you will." Loki conceded, watching warily as Tony's fingers crept closer.

Carefully, Tony traced the raised marks on Loki's cheek and jaw with his fingertips as Loki flinched, a look of utter fascination on his face. The marks were a bit like tribal scars but were surprisingly smooth to the touch. Loki was right, his skin was cold, but it wasn't anything like sticking your hand into dry ice... not that Tony would do something like that. 

"You're not going to believe me when I tell you this..." Tony started, meeting Loki's eyes for a moment. "...but I think you're just as beautiful in this form. I've never even imagined anything like this. The color is incredible. As for the temperature, you're cold, sure... but I run hot so if anything, we compliment each other!" 

"Do not _mock_ me, Tony. Do not dare to pretend that _this_..." Loki spat, gesturing to himself. "...this hideous creature before you is anything but repulsive!"

Tony's brows knit and he stared up at Loki defiantly. Both hands raised and Tony set his grip on Loki's shoulders, holding him very still. 

"Loki, stop. Just stop. Would you please just listen to me for once?" Tony pleaded, staring deeply into those red eyes. "You forget that I don't know a damn thing about Jotunheim or frost giants or why they're supposedly the scourge of the universe and you know what? I don't care. All I know is that beneath that skin, it's you and you're what I fell in love with. I wouldn't give a shit if you were purple or orange or plaid for fuck's sake. It's not the color or texture of your body that makes me smile when I'm feeling low. It's not your parentage that drives this desire within me to hold you and kiss you. It's you. Your soul or whatever you want to call it. I love you and I don't fucking care if you don't believe that it's possible. It's the goddamn truth and nothing is going to change that. Nothing." 

Loki blinked, eyes going wide and lips parting in surprise. There was no gasp or scream or wince of pain when Tony's flesh met his, something Loki had not expected. He had been there when Volstagg had cried out to avoid the jotun touch, had seen what it had done to his flesh. He didn't know why it didn't affect Tony in the same manner but he was thankful for it. As for Tony's words...

"I don't believe you." Loki confirmed, smiling a melancholy smile. "I don't believe that someone like you could love me like this or any other way. I've never been good enough for anyone. Why would that change now?"

Tony sighed heavily and shook his head, never losing his hold on Loki's gaze. 

"There is no 'good enough', Loki. There isn't some sort of sliding scale I'm measuring you on and you have nothing to prove to me. If the other people in your life never thought you measured up then they were just plain stupid." Tony asserted, squeezing Loki's shoulders just a bit more tightly. "You gotta believe me, Lokes. Out of a world full of humans, I choose you. You're my alien Prince, remember? You're the best I can get and you're more than I deserve and I don't for a second regret giving you my heart."

Unfallen tears burned in Loki's eyes, causing them to glisten in the light of the room. Tony watched as Loki's carefully constructed guard began to crumble to bits, the fear and anguish that had been hidden so deep was in full bloom. Loki made a soft sound in the back of his throat and closed his eyes, shaking his head. So much of his life had been spent trying to earn the love, respect and affection of others that he had thought it impossible for anyone to see him as anything but a failure or a defect. He was certain there was some catch, some falseness to Tony's affections yet one very defiant human stood before him, blowing that idea to smithereens. Loki's heart ached in his chest... he wanted to believe Tony so badly. He craved Tony's love and he was desperate to hold onto it. 

"Talk to me." Tony started, sliding his arms down around Loki's waist so that he could rub at Loki's back. "What's running around in that mind of yours? What are you feeling?" 

Loki parted his lips to speak but only managed a cry. As Tony hugged him close, he could feel Loki trembling all over. For a moment, the two of them stood in silence, Tony nosing along Loki's jaw as he shushed him, embrace tight and steady.

"You are a fool, Tony Stark." Loki whispered, circling his arms around Tony in return. "And I have never loved anyone or any thing as much as I love you." 

For a moment, time seemed to stop in Tony's mind. All these months he had waited to hear those words from Loki. Before he had been abducted he had let them slip but Loki never did return the sentiment and now, it was as if the last piece of the puzzle had clicked into place and Tony couldn't have been happier. Even if those words were preceded by a playful slight. It was obvious that trust and affection did not come easily to Loki and Tony felt as if something big had been accomplished just now. Loki had trusted him enough to reveal the form that he loathed so deeply and let him in enough to call it love. 

Loki could do nothing but let his tears fall as he soaked up the safety and comfort of Tony's embrace. He was absolutely floored by the fact that Tony refused to give in, refused to let him go. Loki had not expected such easily won acceptance. He should have known better. Tony was not exactly your standard human. Still, the acceptance gave Loki comfort, a burdensome weight lifting off his chest. It warmed him to know that Tony had been true to his word, that his affections were more than just superficial. 

Tony smiled brilliantly, pleased to hear Loki simply accept his words for once. He could tell that Loki was still uncomfortable but this was progress, at least. Tilting his head, Tony leaned up and brushed his warm lips against Loki's cool flesh. As difficult as it was for Loki to accept this jotun form, having the support of someone else meant the world to him. It gave him the strength he needed to work toward his own acceptance and the strength he needed to let himself feel anything other than the pain and disappointment he was accustomed to. It was his only victory so far. 

Tony worked his lips against Loki's and Loki returned the favor, the kiss slow and sweet. When Tony pulled back, Loki's eyes opened and he looked at Tony with his insecurity on display in his concerned expression. Tony smiled at Loki, glad to see that fury had subsided.

"The illusion that the All-Father cast upon me is permanent. Now that I know it's there, I am capable of dissolving it at will for a time but I do not wish to remain in this form." Loki said quietly, his arms tightening around Tony just a little. 

Tony nodded his head, accepting Loki's wishes without hesitation.

"I'm proud of you, Lokes." Tony responded, smiling as he brushed his fingers through Loki's hair. "You didn't have to show me... but you did anyway. I can see how uncomfortable you are and I absolutely understand if you prefer to be the way you were when I met you. For the record, blue skinned or pale, you're beautiful either way and I love you." 

That golden energy crackled and glowed, surrounding Loki once again. Even Tony could feel the magic like a current that flowed through his fingers and up his arm. Slowly but surely, the golden shimmer fell away and Loki took his Asgardian form once more. It wasn't until his skin had become pale that Tony could see the soft flush across Loki's cheeks and the sight made Tony coo quietly in appreciation. 

Suddenly, Loki's arms were pulling Tony in tight, holding the smaller man to his chest in a tight embrace. Turning his head, Loki nuzzled into Tony's short, dark hair and closed his eyes. He had never been welcomed and accepted like this in his life and through his tolerance and persistent, unwavering devotion, Tony had solidified his place in Loki's heart. 

"Kiss me." Loki commanded, his tone suggesting that this was not negotiable. 

Tony smirked and tilted his head, bringing his lips within millimeters of Loki's.

"As you wish, my Prince." Tony answered, his words but breath upon Loki's flesh. 

As the two men kissed, Loki's hands sought out Tony's flesh, greedy fingers creeping beneath the shirt that Tony wore. The touches made Tony shudder with delight after having been denied this contact for so long. It didn't take long for either of them to work off each other's shirts for better access, fingertips tracing and touching. With arms tight around Tony, Loki focused his will, surrounding them both in that same golden glow. 

Tony was surprised when he found himself horizontal, perched atop Loki rather than standing. Pulling back from their kiss, Tony stared down at Loki in confusion and Loki couldn't help but laugh at the befuddled look on Tony' face. 

"Did you just magic me into the bedroom?" Tony asked, looking around at their familiar surroundings.

Grinning, Loki nodded his head in confirmation, his hands still clutching at Tony's flesh. Tony chuckled to himself and returned his gaze to Loki. Tony couldn't help but take a moment to admire his lover. Loki truly was incredible... he had so many talents and abilities that Tony had never thought possible. Tony could only hope that maybe one day, with his help, Loki would see himself for the amazing creature that he was. For now, Tony would aim to prove his admiration through touch and kiss.

"Impressive. I'm going to have to remember that trick when I'm stuck in the middle of a boring meeting... I'd much prefer this." Tony joked, grinning right back down at Loki.

Leaning down to bring their lips together once more, Tony resumed where they had left off and kissed Loki with a deep-rooted passion. It didn't take long for the rest of their clothes to hit the floor, each man eager to feel each other again. Tony ran his hands over every inch of Loki that he could reach, savoring the feeling of Loki's smooth skin beneath his fingertips. 

Loki yielded to Tony and Tony was happy to take the reigns, slotting himself between Loki's parted legs as he kissed a hot trail down the side of Loki's neck. Tilting his head away to gift Tony with more flesh to kiss, Loki's fingertips curled at Tony's back, eyes closed and lips parted in bliss. Slowly and carefully, their bodies became one and Tony took the opportunity to worship Loki with all the love that had been pent up inside of him. Loki returned the favor, every bit as vested in this as Tony was. Each man was lost in the other, lost in the perfect intensity of the moment as they made love shrouded in pale blue light.

Sometime later in the night, Tony and Loki lay wrapped in each other's arms, eyes closed and smiling in near-slumber. Loki hadn't thought it possible for him to find such genuine joy with another person but here, with Tony, he felt more at home than he had ever felt in Asgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Great googily moogily, this chapter went on way longer than I had intended... but I hope that's not a bad thing. I had to get in a good amount of bipolar, insecure Loki to appease the bunnies. There was going to be more in-depth sexytime at the end of this chapter but as I was writing, I decided it simply didn't fit.
> 
> Thank you for reading and double thank you for those who take the time to comment :) I appreciate every view, comment and kudo!
> 
> Song inspiration: "Feel Again" - OneRepublic
> 
> Edit 11/25/14: Life got in the way and I wasn't able to add the fluff that I was going to so I am going to officially stick a fork in this bad boy and call it done. Thank you so much to everyone who went along for the ride!!


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